They're shit

They're shit.

They cum on their instruments to lubrificate them and to let them nice before recording a song.

they are mtf lesbians

And already have three platinum records.

Herbie Hancock plays all the instruments fluently and writes all the songs.

lead singer is a polygot and keeps switching between various languages mid song

this thread would be better if only dubs were true

One commits suicide in his prime, another is assassinated, the third drowns, the fourth one who nobody cares about still plays.

They're so shit that they are ironically good again

debut was 10/10 according to scaruffi
all albums after that were

the band exclusively makes music for theme park haunted houses

>band has 4 guitarists
>6 bassists
>3 drummers
>2 custom percussionists
>2 turntablists
>1 synth player
>3 samplers
>5 vocalists
>1 xylophonist
>2 cello players
>4 drum machines
>one of the guitarists plays leads
>two of the guitarists fuck around with pedals and do atmospheric licks
>one of the guitarists plays dudebro djent chugging and smashes his guitar against a gong when he isn't required
>one of the bassists pretends he's a guitarist and does rhythm
>two of the bassists play slap
>one of the bassists plays slap but tuned a bit differently than the others
>one of the bassists plays normal basslines for backing sound
>the last bassist hooks his bass up to a computer that triggers midi basslines
>two of the drummers use a normal setup
>one of the drummers uses v-drums
>one of the percussionists has an array of custom triangles dangling around an office chair that make unique sounds when he hits them with a mallet
>the other bangs trash cans
>samplers sample the band's in house turntable scratching and give it back to the turntablists to chop and screw further who then give it back to the samplers to make microtonal harsh noise loops with
>synth guy doesn't actually know what he's doing and hits the randomize button in fl studio until it kinda works
>only one of the vocalists actually sings, the others do a choir-like array of chanting, screaming, shrieking and spoken word that usually sits in the background but comes forefront in the mix sometimes
>xylophonist dresses up like a skeleton and never removes mask. always interchangeably plays notes on two xylophones at once, one of which is modified to sound more percussive and atonal like thunder.
>one of the cellists plays it symphonically, the other is his autistic daughter who has no interest in music and plays abrasively
>the drum machines are at least 50 feet away from each other and play randomly generated kick drums at varying BPM which echo throughout the warehouse where the band lives and performs

they have 7 piccoloboe players

The singer is Christian tranny

I agree. We should remake it.

so far we have described Current 93

lead singer can only count to 23

they bob dylan will die this month

1

>they are 4
>three theremin player
>one guy just press a button that plays a shitty drum loop on a casio keyboard

And for him every number between 1 and 20 is 7.

...

This

Idk why but I kek'd so much

bjork occasionally visits the band in the studio and they run a train on her
they record it and sample it on their albums

They all exclusively use arch linux but never for any actual computing purposes, just ricing.

And they all circlejerk about the superiority of free software while secretly dual-booting windows

doyouexpectmetoreadallthatshit.png

They're a rap group that only samples obscure Christian thrift store vinyl.

every album is advertised as a "return to their roots," even their debut

each member knows how high the sky really is

The band is comprised of 4 men with tiny dongs and 1 really cute girl who they all orbit but she fuck chats she meets at the concerts every single night while they all 4 sit around chain smoking menthols

When producer and Jazz legend Quincy Jones first heard them, he claimed "They were the worst musicians in the world."

This

The band made music straight, white and male once again. There are rumours circulating the internet that their first album has cured feminism from women.

That means dubs are true, because this was dubs.

they have a patreon that only the 1 percent have access to
>for 100k, the band will perform in the donors sweatshop. but can only leave after a 12 hour shift of stuffing radioactive iphone wires into designer clothes.

There live shows are the worst experience you'll ever have.

>16 people are in the band just to insult the other memebers.

the lead singer is actually three kids sitting on each other's shoulders wearing a big trench coat and a hat

Before they formed the band, the singer and guitarist bonded over a shared love of child pornography.

made me kek for some reason