/english prem/ - Starving nurses edition

get in here you dumb cunts

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Marino_national_football_team#List_of_matches_not_lost_by_San_Marino
techwalla.com/articles/how-to-send-a-kiss-in-text
youtube.com/watch?v=PToqVW4n86U
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Got no friends left

biggest shocker is seeing how much adele made

>english prem

what are these numbers

that's too much for aeroplane imo

How much each club in the English Premiership spent this summer.

who did spurs spend all that cash on?

can Everton be a big club?

Aurier, Sanchez, Llorente and Foyth

I'm not watching; how badly are England playing?

completely forgot sanchez

>me

very

Spurs signed Sanchez?!

Davinson Sanchez

Who is doing worse right now, England or Northern Ireland?

how the hell is southgate england manager

Yes man mentality

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Marino_national_football_team#List_of_matches_not_lost_by_San_Marino

Arsenal getting outspent by Watford hahahahahha

Arsenal finish the transfer window with a netspend of +23m kek. Fucking joke club.

look err we tried to make the deal happen but Monaco refused when Wilshere comes back from loan he'll be like a new signing

Look, even Italy struggled to beat Malta 1-0. Maybe Malta is actually improving.

*gets snubbed*
*keeps job anyway*

really made me think

rashford on for sterling

I feel like Freddos were 10p in 1999 desu.

Does british people really use x at the end of their sentences unironically? I always thought it was a bit of a meme, only used seriously by people that are actually stupid.

i don't think sending kisses is a uniquely british thing bruv

>I always thought it was a bit of a meme, only used seriously by people that are actually stupid

Yeah. It's like racism.

AUGUST IS OVER

How do you suppose you "send a kiss" then? I always thought you had to be there to give or receive it

I like that, nice

GOTTEM

techwalla.com/articles/how-to-send-a-kiss-in-text

SLAAY QUEEEN.

adele should have to ring up soldiers and nurses' wives

You just know some 50 year old has been sat reading this while actually learning something new. I don't rate technology that much these days 2bh

NI still haven't scored lads.

>tfw the age of rooney has come to an end

I chatted to a Norwegian girl and she was similarly perplexed with kisses at the end of a text, are you all autistic?

i like to think my dad uses articles like that to chat up gilfs

>Norwegian
>autistic

sounds about right

Who's graduating this year in the Prem?

Well yeah, how did you chat up a Norwegian girl without knowing anything about Norway?

If you could Kindle the first flame of the age of Rooney would ya?

just comes natural to us black lads

Because she wanted to teach me about her strange country I guess, worked at some fish science thing of course

no

Very well

The fire crackles as the children gasp in awe. Snow begins to fall outside the window the your tale comes to an end, but the youngsters are still thirsty for more. 'Tell us about the two he scored against Andorra again Grandpapa' one child begs. 'No, no! The legendary brace vs Kazakhstan!' implores another. The oldest boy pipes up. 'Be quiet you two, Grandad tells those ones all the time. Go on, tell us the one you promised us last time - the penalty vs Slovenia...Grandad..G-Grandad?'
The rocking chair creaks to a halt. A serene expression is on your face and all of Rooney's goals flash before your eyes in your final moments as the children embrace you. His one World Cup goal, The legendary double in Minsk. That tap in against Liechenstien. they know whats happening and are scared, but calm.
The last thing you hear as you slide into the black warmth of death is the youngest boy - old beyond his years, a football fanatic who spends every free moment outside kicking his battered leather ball against the wall 'Dont be sad, he lived a hell of a life...in the age of Rooney.'

Was he even good for England?

those braces against teams outside of the top 100 were vital lad

all time top goalscorer and outfield cap leader

#respect

Yeah but how many trophies won lad. Honestly all I will remember from his career is him stomping on Carvalho's nuts.

Won CL, played in 2 more finals

someone post a screencap of that japanese post

So he's basically a shit Juventus

>mfw listening to xfm ricky gervais show all day

Will there ever be a better radio show?

>a shit Juventus
I said he won the CL

Was talking about England career.

I was watching the best bits on Audible and it's so fucking good,just annoying there are no more Ricky Gervais podcasts.

what trophies has any england player ever won?

pointless measure of international success for the vast majority of nation teams

Senior Career: Same number as Messi

Italy, Spain, Germany, Portugal have all won trophies in the last 10 years or so

Surely England considers itself in the same tier as these teams :^)

enjoyed the office but cant stand him 2bh

ballon dor

Spanish window is closing and Costa has been registered in Chelseas PL squad

Rashford is miles ahead of mbappe

Has he been registered in their CL squad too?

Well yeah I'm glad I don't actually know the guy in real life, but he is hilarious to listen to when you put him in a room with Merchant carrying him trough the show, setting him up etc. and Karl being Karl

Rashford should unironically start for England

who should ironically start?

rooney

Poor Lichtsteiner, he's been left out for a second year.

Adam Johnson

Rashford should unironically start picking cotton in the field again

You got me there.

>I now remember this video
youtube.com/watch?v=PToqVW4n86U

Danny Welbeck is the anti-messi

is this the much talked about pidgin dialect?

>the most racist field-trip ever
Like there's a lot of competition for that.

Thibaut Courtois @thibautcourtois 13m
SE QUEDA @diegocosta

what did he mean by this

Careful you dont get arrested for all that edge

>/english prem/
dafuq
literally the gayest thing i've ever seen
gayer than bradley cooper and cr7 picking flowers

suddenly want to a teacher in the 60s and compete in this competition

>chats up norwegian fish scientist
actually impressed m8

>tfw forgot about flags
leaving india soon to go back to burger paradise

You now remember Jack Grealish

who

Is he non-league?

>poo burgers

Is this anyone's little sister?

She's almost ten years younger but I'm gonna shag her anyway

Nice hip-waist ratio la

good lad

I hope you think of /epl/ when you're fucking and lose wood

man moth?!

Carveries only make me harder

>this isn't the J|List
>nor is it the Jj List revealed on J Live
pathetic desu

...

wayne lad what have you done

What about pizza Hut?

It's Gg

(get it? Because that sounds like Gigi aka Buffon. BTW, I would really like for this to become a meme)