Tfw 19 years old

>tfw 19 years old
>tfw 3 years of social isolation

did you go outside today?

you will get used

Please see a psychiatrist, Jorge

last time was in january, i dont remember the day
yes, im tired of this neet life but im too ugly and manlet to be a normie with a normal life
9 months going to a psychiatrist and psychologist

>9 months going to a psychiatrist and psychologist
falling for the (((psycology))) meme.
>telling your most intimate things to complete strangers
>paying them a lot of money
>they tell you stupid obvious things

>tfw 30 y/o
>had a panic attack in the subway
I don't want to leave my house ever again

I met some of the awkward people, how is it even possible to give that much of a shit about what people think? Just get over it, the not-faggots don't even give a shit.

if i dont go my parents kick me out of house and i dont wanna be a homeless, i dont talk with him about my life, he asks my shit and i stay quiet part of the time, and psychologist is free in my country

I'm sick and one of the symptoms is overwhelming paranoia, I cannot help it.

>if i dont go my parents kick me out of house and i dont wanna be a homeless
implying they can, are you that naive?

It's free here too, how often do you visit your psychologist? I do it once a week or two.

it's free here too Tbh

if he doesn't study they can.

>another naive guy

you won't go far with your NEET lives.

how does it feel? like are you immediately scared or embarassed or what

>i don't get why do people choose to be this way
but they don't retard

Be brace, go outside today, even if for like 10 minutes man. It's therapeutic itself

It's actually more of a delusion of reference, I see everyone staring at me and talking about me and I get paranoid they want to hurt me.

>26
>three years hikikomori
At least I'm not a weeb into anime.

this.
At least priests used to do it for free.

While you speak the truth you overlook the fact that many people can't see the "obvious" stuff themselves, for a variety of reasons.

You seem to have a will of getting out there. Ask the psych people if there's some kind of peer group you can join. Then you at least have the psych contact in common making it easier to accept each others differances.

It's for free here and it helps me, I told him some stuff and he explained to me why this happened, I felt a lot better.

At least I'm not dead

>9 months going to a psychiatrist and psychologist
yet
>last time was in january, i dont remember the day
Does he goes to your home?

nope, he is in the public hospital
once a month but i will go in october because the public healthcare is full of fucking poor and depressed people

Do you have any diagnosis? I have 2

I'm 22 and it's been like 4 ish years
get on my level
desu i dont think its bad i used to be social i just dont like being around other people

Y-yeah, great that we're not dead isn't it hehe

nope lol, i have been going 9 months and they dont know a shit, probably im just a loser and im depressed because my looks and my short height

whats your diagnosis

Mild autism and paranoid schizophrenia, also some mixed personality disorder, I nearly forgot about this one.

Pretty common combination desu.
Usually it's also paired with smoking lots of weed, not even kidding.

Did they give you any good antipsychotics?
Doesn't sound like you've actually been to a psychiatrist.

>Usually it's also paired with smoking lots of weed, not even kidding.
Yeah I smoked too much, I'm done with this
>Did they give you any good antipsychotics?
Yes, Olanzapine.

The picture is so cosy.
I want to have the same type of low table like that.

Olanzapine often makes people really fat, and you can get a bit slow. Generally works really well though, only thing that works better is Clozapine, but Clozapine has a lot more side effects.

Yeah I got 15kg more in one year, now I'm trying to lose it, I have a diet and I'm going to gym and swimming pool. Right now I'm not feeling like going anywhere though, I am comfy in my half-dark little room. Panic attacks, paranoia and autistic meltdowns are worst, worse than hallucinations desu.

Olanzapine is supposed to help against the paranoia as well desu.
If you still experience stuff like:
-thinking that random people stare at you or talk about you
-thinking that cameras follow you
-thinking that your house is bugged by the government or something
-and so on
and you notice that people around you seem to think these things are unrealistic, you might actually need the Clozapine tbqh.
The autistic meltdowns just need not only a psychologist, but also people who help you structure your day, and you probably need a reason to go outside. Stuff like that.
Panic attacks may be caused by the paranoia, but if they're not too frequent you can get benzodiazepines to make them a bit less bad.

I will visit my psychiatrist this week, I will tell him about this and ask for benzos once more, I had cloranxen but devoured whole box in 2 weeks because I felt anxious. I need more, I hope he will prescribe me something good. What are the side effects of Clozapine AND how do you know so much about this stuff, do you also suffer from what I do or are you a specialist or student or is this one of your interests or something?

I'm a med student.
If you devoured the whole box in 2 weeks you actually might not need more benzodiazepines. They are highly addictive, and if you use them too much they won't be effective any more. What's worse, the addiction will raise your overall stress level.
So it's best to use them in moderation, and try only to use them when you really need them. If you ask your psychiatrist for a lot more, he will think you are addicted.
The risk of Clozapine is suddenly getting a low white blood cell count. The chances are small (3%) and it usually happens in the first few months of using the meds, but if you're amongst the unlucky 3% there's a small risk of dying due to an infection. You will need to have frequent blood cell counts.
Other side effects are just generic antipsychotic side effects, like sleeping bad and stuff.

Oh alright. Thank you very much and sorry for talking about myself but I'm having a really rough time and lots of shit happening recently.

No problem mate, I like advising people.

Some final advice: it's really important that you don't smoke weed. You said you smoked too much earlier and you're done with that, and I hope you meant that you completely quit it. It's really bad stuff for schizophrenia patients, even though many people think it helps them sleep or put their thoughts in order, the negative effects are much worse than the positive effects.

You should also make sure to sleep well. Try meditating or listening to ASMR videos before sleeping, and don't watch TV/PC for 2 hours before going to bed. You can also ask your psychiatrist for Melatonin.

Best of luck!

Yeah I'm completely done with that, it used to make me feel relaxed in the past but few last times I've tried it only made me more paranoid, fuck this.
>Melatonin
noted, thanks again!

>these babies who had barely started school when Sup Forums started
jesus christ you kids are tiny