Help, how do I stay on time? Am I just musically retarded?

Help, how do I stay on time? Am I just musically retarded?

I can come over and physically assault you with a cymbal if that'll help.

practice with a metronome?

count aloud whilst playing

If you don't realize that you should use a metronome like literally every musician before you , then maybe you are retarded after all.

Certain teachers discourage metronome usage. Are they higher education retards?

Just play in so many off times that you inevitably just fall on time at any given point.

Maybe??

'certain teachers'
I am an examined music teacher, for real. No professiomnal musician in their right mind would say that.

Follow your heart. Literally play to your heartbeat