Please help me out here, Sup Forums. Why are there no funny right wing comedians?

Please help me out here, Sup Forums. Why are there no funny right wing comedians?

pic unrelated

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They own the comedy clubs and tv channels. You'll understand when you're older.

Why would you bond burger my sister?

Names? Surely you wouldn't make such a claim without some.

I think you mean (((they))).

Last night I secretely pounded your sister
Last night I pierced the buns of your sister

comedy is complex but it's simplest core is 'surprise', conservative mindsets are obsessed with sameness, consistency, the status quo, and pretending that problems don't exist. Not exactly the stuff of humor although it's not impossible.

I would assume there are tons of conservative commedians/actors/musicians but

1. their art/humor has nothing to do with politics
2. they are constantly blacklisted by established liberal entertainment moguls when they find out about their personal opinions.

You shot mcdonalds in my sister?

No, why would you spy food my sister?

there's a good amount of them. they just don't all talk politics on stage so you'd never guess

You stuck your Brosnan meat in my sister???

Because entertainment industry is concentrated in areas where liberals are a majority.

i have the perfect answer for this

>guaranteed replies
This image should be a bannable offence

>comedy is to comfort the afflicted

what did he mean by that

I got it!!! You pierced your sister with my meat.

Looks like the conservative comedian was afflicting the comfortable right there though.

pierced your sister's buns

Yeah, they pop up out of nowhere. Leftists have the typical snowflake delusion that they're somehow innately more creative than conservatives when they're akin to autists who used to believe they originate from Atlantis.
Then you have people like who just have the shitty strawman of what a conservative is and won't shut up about it.

another thing to understand is how isolating it is from the mentality of LA or Manhattan if you're a conservative. It would be like going on stage and telling clean jokes about what it's like to be an organist at your home town Methodist church.

This is why so many comedians talk so much about sex, casual dating, and getting high/drunk. It's what the LA/NY audience wants to hear in their little party and never worry world where they walk by literal Hoover towns of homeless people under every underpass and their subway train is delayed again because someone jumped on the tracks to kill themselves. You have to have a cold, selfish and self obsessed attitude to survive in these hellholes and they don't want anyone to even mention ideas like morality, ethics, sobriety, or thought and reason.

Watch George Carlin, he wasn't conservative by any means (nor was he a liberal - he opted out of the 'freakshow' and refused to vote) but it's clear he holds his tongue and painstakingly slowly explains to his audience like you would to a child that most of the things the world does and allows is inane. He never really chides or blames anyone (other than politics and politicians and elites like lawyers and religious leaders) but it's clear he knows there is a line he can't step across immediately. He slowly encroaches and painfully inches his way to sharing some self awareness with the audience. I think it's the closest you can get to conservative comedy unless you mean stuff like the rampant homophobia that was super popular in the 1980s by folks like Eddie Murphey and Andrew Dice Clay.

Conservatism is comforting the comfortable? What? Conservatives are the pillars of a civilized society. Seeing that these 'afflicted' are genetic dead ends, they wouldn't even exist if conservative mindsets didn't maintain the conditions for it.

>last night I pierce buns your sister

This image is stupid

conservative values generally include integrity, responsibility, and traditional interpersonal respect.

So what happens when the conservative comedian gets blow pushed on them, that they can't have their five minutes on stage unless they snort coke with the manager and his girlfriend or give him a blowjob? Well, they say no. Then they don't get their five and the guy or gal with zero integrity gets on stage and the ideology that sympathizes and empowers people who act like selfish children is not the conservative one.

Conservatives are just more stupider.
That's actually a fact.
We can see it in the blatant anti intellectualism that's rampant in the conservative's sphere, so they dont excell in creative jobs.
But they're good at, like, plumbering.

>they own tv channels
>entire media is liberal propaganda
PICK ONE

Conservatism is not going to shitty comedians, liberalism is going and then bitching about it with a equally shitty comic.

funny lefties do stand-up shows and comedy flicks
funny righties go on Sup Forums and create dank memes

>Conservatives are the pillars of a civilized society
Genuine laugh, cheers

Yes, the cold attitude of urban life pales to the comparison of the euphoric utopia of rural life that drives millions to opioid addiction and overdose. Surely urbanized people live a darker, more desolate life. But this post is b8 so I'm wasting my time anyway.

Are Jews right wing or left?

...

There aren't many funny comedians period and the ones who are elevated to fame are often liberal darlings. Look at Amy Schumer or any of the female ghostbusters cast, they are unfunny and forced comedians but they are liberal so it's okay.

If you're a conservative from a young age you will probably recognize entertainment is a pipe dream where very few succeed. You will go into a field that is in demand instead like a stem degree or trade skill.

If you're like greg gutfeld you claw your way up with the limited conservative media and use that to get exposure. Alternatively if you're like Sam Hyde you get blacklisted by liberals smell any remotely conservative humor that is not ironic.

>stem degree
Probably not.

>trade skill
Most likely.

BOND BURGER

Ron White is funny, wish there were more comedians like him.

youtu.be/5dq4npfDssE?t=1490

youtube.com/watch?v=-yFhR1fKWG0