/nfl/ general - NEVER FORGET edition

ARZ: RapSheet: 'Possible' David Johnson plays Wk 2
PHI: Report: Ronald Darby (ankle) out 4-6 weeks
GB: Ty Montgomery plays 90 percent of snaps Wk 1
DAL: NFL appeals Elliott's preliminary injunction
TEN: Corey Davis plays 42-of-64 snaps Week 1
NYJ: Matt Forte plays five more snaps than Powell
SEA: Chris Carson leads Seattle RBs with 26 snaps
BAL: Buck Allen out-snaps Terrance West Week 1
BAL: Ravens 'fear' Woodhead out significant time
HOU: Report: Deshaun Watson expected to start Wk 2
DAL: Orlando Scandrick suffers broken left hand
PIT: Steelers fear DE Tuitt suffered torn biceps

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First for Vikings

tunein.com/wfan660/

mike francesa giants/jets rant/recap starts now

YOU CAN ONLY REPLY TO THIS POST IF YOUR TEAM IS 1-0.

shut your whore mouth

...

I don't even give a shit that we're the worst team in the league, knowing that you texas niggerspics continually shoot your mouth off about "HURR ELITE DEFENSE WERE JUST A QB AWAY FROM COMPETING" every fucking year and routinely finding out that your QB isnt the QB you need is enough to satisfy me. Honest to god I hope the jags and tits sweep you this year, we won't but at least we'll get a good draft pick

GG Texans. Thanks for praying for us.

Lions friends reporting in.

>your team
>your regular season record prediction
>your age
>the amount of women you have slept with

Patriots
15-1
37
0 but I finally got to hold hands with a girl yesterday

Yay!

>burrs
>4-12
>20
>0

>at least we'll get a good draft pick

You'd just waste it.

Broncos
10-6
33
probably 10-12

>implying the Lions have friends

We actually have a decent GM now. I have hope for the future. But it will take more than one season to undo grigson's retardation

you used to beat TX all the time, now you still have Andrew Luck and lose all the time. Great GM, indeed.

Browns
5-11
24
3 or 4? It's been a while so I can't remember.

we have split threads right now

this one is more active:

You realize that our new GM took over this offseason, right? The old GM is gone? Quit talking out of your ass

The National Feelball League has just released their Week 1 Tier list:

>On top of the World
Chiefs

>We might win a playoff game
Lions
Jags

>Oh no it's happening again
Jets
Browns

>Why does God hate us?
Texans

>Application Under Review
49ers
Colts
Chargers
Bengals

Week 1 is almost in the books and the league is looking to expand from 6 to 10 teams. The Chiefs are looking to leave the league but history has shown this is unlikely. The Lions and Jags put on a good show and have a shot at a play off berth the Super Bowl of the feels league. The Browns put on a good game but still remain the Browns until further notice. The Jets are reaching new levels of Just. Finally the swamp of Houston has fallen from there high perch into the hardest of times experts predict the City and Team are heading the way of 00's Detroit with no hope in sight.

Applicants put on good showings to enter the League with the Bengals, 49ers, and Colts receiving unanimous votes to enter the National Feels League beginning Week 2. The Chargers who abandoned there fans for a town that wanted their rivals have yet to play but chances are they enter the League by week 4 after a few home games.

This one was a late thread and you can ignore it. You're posting in the right thread, don't make a thing of it.

>Quit talkin out your ass

You literally just lost to the Rams, maybe shut the fuck up.

Lions go 13-3, NFC North is ours. You saw it here first, folks.

>Lions
>good

What year is it.

1954

Or 1957.

As I said, it will take more than a year to turn the ship around. You failed out of high school didn't you?

>Eagles
>10 - 6
>27
>15ish

pack
12-4
20
3

>texans
>9-7, first place in the AFC South, first-round playoff loss
>the next two answers are 22 and 12, you can pick which is which.

Tuitt only week to week. Whew.

Colts
0-16
22
7, married the 7th

>married at 22
Yeah, you're in Indiana alright.

Not him but what's wrong about being married at 22? I married at 25.

Loins
11-5
24
Number of times they've won a playoff game since 1960.

I can't believe the Texans will have a winning record after seeing that God awful performance from the offensive line. If O'Brien actually sticks with Watson at QB, he's gonna have a rough-ass rookie season.

does anyone have this full gif

>Fins
>10-6
>23
>Estimate around 60

>yeah, you're not a degenerate coastal who marries used goods at 35 and then divorces 10 times alright

FTFY

>I married at 25
Then you didn't get married at 22, what are you bent out of shape about.

>having the kind of time to get divorced ten times after 35

The younger you get married, the higher the divorce rate is. Sorry those facts got in the way of your rage, I know that's how we do things around here.

Go Gnats.

stop posting here, the thread is much more active

That's just a 3 year difference.

Don't tell me what to do.

And the more partners a woman has before marriage, the higher the divorce rate is. Sorry THAT fact got in your way.

The "young marriage ends in divorce" thing is largely due to teen pregnancies. Young people who get married that weren't pregnant before the marriage have significantly higher stable marriage rates than their older counterparts.

Fuck off it is post week 1 overreaction day! Sup Forums should be able to support 32 overreaction threads for each team.

Fake thread, the first one was quite clear.

>And the more partners a woman has before marriage, the higher the divorce rate is.
That's not even remotely true, where did you learn this garbage.

>The "young marriage ends in divorce" thing is largely due to teen pregnancies.
No it isn't. Is this like when they teach the "War of Northern Aggression" in the southern states? I guess that makes sense, if this was a state that elected Pence on purpose.

Young marriages end in divorce because kids aren't emotionally prepared for the emotional commitment that comes with marriage. You're not even fully formed at 22, and indeed you may be in an entirely different place emotionally than you were at 18, 22, 25 (set, HUT).

Even the more cursory internet research will reveal this to you, sorry you had to learn about it on a sports board.

Go Jets.

>Cowboys

>Fins
>Bucs
>Juggs

How are you, fellow chiefbros?

Is this the year chefsposting reaches critical levels?

No, but it is the week

If the Pats don't address the issues quickly, we are fuuuuucked, big time. Pass rush is the weakest I can remember, Oline was only looking good when Chefs were rushing 3, Run D was shit as usual, and our corners got burned. Brady wasn't himself either, overthrowing niggas, not a lot of trust for some reason.

>we
>our

>he doesn't play for his team

Clots
6-10 if we're lucky
19
0

Why hasn't the NFL instated a rule that allows both teams to lose in a single game?

Sometimes I just want to see both teams lose.

...

How's Soup doing, Jags?

Reminder the Patriots have won 3 rings the last 3 times they started 0-1

Uhhh guys?

Chiefs
15-1
25
2

>Top 5 Offense
>Top 5 QB
>The BEST Run game
>Top 3 offensive line
>Top 8 Defensive front 7
>Top 12 Secondary

So who will they be playing in the Superbowl this year?

>I'm going to make the Khmer Rouge look like a fucking joke
What do you suppose Rodgers meant by this?

Remember how last year went, cowshitter? Dak will never see a Bowl

Reminder the Pats are THE most fraudulent organization in professional sports.

>your friends have a high mortality rate, Tom

What was he getting at here?

Raiders or Chiefs. Hoping for a Dallasb owl myself

I do. Cowboys almost won that game. And now they are better. Playoff wins incoming stay shook nigga

>last year
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Cowturds in the Superb Owl

Last digit is the amount of playoff chokes in Daks career.

Last 2 Digits is how many Superbowls Dak wins with the Cowboys

Stay shook nigga

>almost

Nigga they never stood a chance

...

>Eagles
>11-5

>worst team in the league

Hey! >jest here. That's our title

>whoever loses, we win

>shilling for a team that will never win an Owl for another 10 years

Cowboys fans must have empty lives knowing this fact

And now no other teams stands a chance against the Cowboys. We got Corners. We got one of the best defensive front 7s in football. We got one of the best offenses. Stay shook. Packers might not even make the playoffs lmao

>jets
>1-15
>22
>7
Two girls were hot

What happened to that Dak sophomore slump, bros?

Hahahaha, you are so delusional that it hurts, it really hurts. Not more than you'll hurt when you do t Ben make it to the Playoffs though

Monday Night Football game thread is up

Patriots
15-1
23
Being on this site for 12 years guarantees an eternal 0

is football even worth watching bros?

Not until next year

Lions
16-0
27
81

>c-c-cowboys wo-wont make the playoffs
t. increasingly nervous man for the 100th time

>now they are better
Doubt it

>Bucs
>11-5
>26
>The same number as the number of rings the Falcons and Panthers have

I can't speak for other Texans fans, but personally I've never had the delusion that the Texans were a great team overall. The defense has been fairly good since around 2011, but the offense has always been either mediocre or absolutely awful. Mostly because the organization sucks at finding good QBs in any round of the draft, but also because they can't seem to find the right coaches and personnel to put together a serviceable offense overall. And recently they've been handing out contract extensions like candy to players who don't deserve them of late (Fiedorowicz, Andre Hal, Hopkins, yup, Hopkins, etc) and not paying good veteran players like Duane Brown who they need desperately right now for an offensive line that was already awful to begin with but is now in utter shambles with zero depth.

Go ahead though. Throw mud at another fanbase (a base form of banter to be sure) because you feel like crap about your own shitty team that lost to another historically shitty team. May that give you comfort as your team struggles to find wins in a dumpster fire division because the accumulative mistakes of a previous shitty GM have doomed your franchise to mediocrity at most for the next few years as you continue to rely on Luck to stay healthy and carry your team to miraculous victories despite the rest of his shitty teammates.

Now buckle up and clench your anal sphincter motherfucker. Both of our teams are in this clusterfuck of a ride together.

Why isn't Berman commentating the West Coast game tonight?

Giants
9 or 10 wins
22
4

Any NFL watching NEETs here?

Saints
9-7
21
4

Yo!

give it a minute