Chelsea v Goatfuckers FC Match Thread

Chelsea team: Courtois; Azpilicueta, Christensen, Cahill (c); Zappacosta, Kante, Fabregas, Alonso; Willian, Batshuayi, Pedro.

:(

You're a little early senpai

Glad to see Chelsea back in the CL. How far do you see >us going this season?

i hope >we don't go out in the semis at the very least, also for goodness' sake give us juve or real for once, i'm sick to death of psg

LETS FUCKING GO BOYS

Depends when your boys meet juve, Buyern, Halal and Barca

Tough group this

>Barca

Chelsea generally shows up in the big games tßh if you look at the results since Roman came and took over. Especially against possession teams, Chelsea bunkers and counters but I'm not sure how Conte's team will handle the pressure.

...

Yeah it's true, I worry for you if Juve get through though and we all know HalaWinzLOL like every year

Conte is shit in europe. I think >we're going out in the ro16

>tfw Chelsea customer but can't watch this game
Have to pick between Roma - atletico and barca - juve. Feels bad.

>doesn't have expected goals stat
piss-poor attempt eidur

Well, if Chelsea goes through to the final against Juve. That's basically FREE WIN already.

Why have BT got a female sports announcer for this game, can't I just have one moment no overrun by fucking women.

>muh diversity
Fuck this gay earth

Chelsea have always been a counter / defensive side. Nothing to do with the roman era

HE CAME FROM REAL MADRID
HE HATES THE FUCKING YIDS

please dont ban me for racist speech mods

what do you mean?

All this bitch is doing spewing buzzwords and basic lines. Nothing worth listening to.

Why is this team allowed to play in Yurop?

Of course she is she's a fucking diversity hire to show how progressive BT is, I miss when they actually picked the best people for the job

"expected goals"

It's a new stat. Based on the past 20 years or so of data you can estimate how likely a shot is to be a goal. It's a better stat than shots or shots on target as potshots are worth less so it better reflects how well each team played.

For example, when chelsea played tottenham we only had two shots on target and tottenham "dominated" with way more shots and possession. But the expected goals were about 0.7 for each team, showing that tottenham didn't really dominate as they didn't have any good chances on goal

I've probably explained it really badly but look it up

>I read it as Garbage on first look
kek

THE CHAMPIONS

Fucking sucks man, getting tickets to the games are harder now so I have to endure this crap. My mate got a ticket to the Chelsea/Arsenal game and he "supports" MUFC, what is happening to football?

chelsea youth team now has just gone full meme

they have kenny mccormick and charlie brown,gk named cumming then chalobah and mceachran regens

why would you watch this unironically

>Based Jon Champion commentating

I love (qara)bag lads

over under missed chances by michy 3.5

It's going to be a rout. Which is enjoyable even if you're not a chelsea fan

>Jon Champion

I'm using Fox Sports Go and I have some random fuck

got a bad feeling about people saying this is going to be a rout

can't help but think it may not be the case

fair enough. but there are better games

>gurban gurbanov

nice name

youth team game was 0-0 until qarabag got a red around 50' then ended 5-0

I have a feeling this might go similarly, tough until first goal, if that comes early, then easy game

Can any commentator even compete?

and there it is

PEDGOAT

PEDRO

Yeh OK fair enough this team really is a team of complete shitters

PEDROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHAHA
GARBAGE ARE FUCKED

PEDROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

based Pedrito

PEDRITOOOO

PEDROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Based Pedrito

But diversity is our strength

Beautiful goal

can someone post webms pls

Hope Chelsea put another 2 or 3 goals in soon so I can watch the Bake Off with a sound mind.

Is there anyone quintessentially British in it this year?

This would be a great game to bleed in some youth players in the second half.

Shame conte refuses to develop any of them and instead complains that we only spend 160m in the transfer window.

Conte will probably leave this summer. But i hate this cycle of manager doing well then falling out with emenalo because they can't be bothered to use players from the best academy in the country

lads who are arsenal playing today?

Just go mobile twitter.

yeh musonda could easily play against this league 1 standard team

olimpo de bahia blanca

>musonda not on the bench
>fabregas starting three games in a week

>they can't be bothered to use players from the best academy in the country
I hate how the last manager that properly used a youngster was Benitez, when he was the last manager that add a reason to.
But the problem is deeper than the youth, I've said it before and I will say it again, Chelsea simply doesn't rotate well and this is infuriating.

Where's Drinkwater?

im expecting a return to 3-4-3 with kante and bakayoko midfield on the weekend desu

i think a lot of the academy talent wouldn't make it at chelsea, despite how good they are in the youth competitions. should've kept loftus-cheek around though, he's looked immense for palace

Injured.

hes on loan

I really dislike how much the players complain and stop playing when they think the ref should whistle.

There's only 1 black guy left, there's 2 scourers though which is more than enough.

Ancelotti is the only person who tried. If roman hadn't have sacked him I think mceachran and kakuta would be playing top level football now

>get corner
>can't lift the ball

mostly borini desu

yeah, i know, but of the current crop out on loan i think loftus-cheek definitely had a role to fulfill at chelsea this season.

aside from zouma to stoke, which i find bizarre

michy is so bad holy shitttttt

Batshuayi is shit innit?

>cahill

>gayhill

come on chelsea

The problem is that qarabag are so shit that he thinks he has way more time and can take as many touches as he wants

Why did Cahill try to have himself sent off again?

>mceachran and kakuta
please don't mention them ever again

Disgusting. I expect nothing less from the (((BBC))) though.

>aside from zouma to stoke, which i find bizarre
everyone agreed that zouma needed to play every week if he were to get good after the injury, which he wasn't going to do at chelsea

perfectly reasonable imo

yeh i think he definitely would have played a few games

maybe the experience he gets at palace will be worth it

I hope conte stays forever

Should have kept Traore instead of him.

zouma to stoke was a calculated move. Emenalo doesn't want to gamble on a player who's blown out one of his cruciate ligaments to the loan is basically hoping zouma does well enough to sell him for 30m next summer

>Realized Cahill is back
There goes winning streak in league

genuinely don't think he's going to start

i will never stop blindly supporting gary

What happened to bats, he was looking solid in pre season

fair point. i have heard that the chelsea hierarchy are worried that zouma will never be the same player again, which is worrying


by the way, christensen is an academy player so well done Conte

What a pass
What a run

Fabregas is Chelsea's second most important player tbqh, he makes everything tick in the midfield

Ooh, cheeky from paisan zappacosta.

That was always one of the more bizarre moves imo. Cahill has never really been good, and while I can understand the HG quota, I find it hard to believe they couldn't have found someone else who could actually defend.

zappacosta looks like a rapist

Chelsea deffo needs to play 352, at least as long as he's so good. Drinky and Luiz (with christ in defence) are enough depth, Then, if Morata is injured/rested I can watch Pedro Hazshit and never have to watch Batty again.

I suppose but based on his first few games I'm not his biggest fan. Plus, as someone who has to watch england play, I really want an english player to come through. Losing solanke, chalobah and rlc (only a loan but he's probably not leaving at the first chance he gets) hurts. I don't understand how the same guy who developed pogba can completely toss aside rlc. Maybe emenalo needs to put a moustache on ruben and say he bought him for 40m