Worst film critics working today?

Lou Lumenick
Chris Stuckmann
Mick LaSalle
Mark Kermode
Kyle Smith

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youtube.com/watch?v=MukQMCkwApc
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

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The goysknow

Stuckmann shouldn't be considered a critic, he's a youtube vlogger with surface level interest in cinema. He wouldn't be able to participate in pre 70's cinema discussion because he doesn't bother to learn anything outside of the Neo-Hollywood machine.

RedLetterMedia

tell that to zodd's snapped neck

Stuckmann is a manchild, not a critic.

They're more entertainers, really.

DELET THIS

All of them.

I like Kermode but often his negative criticism of a film is just feigning disbelief and obnoxiously saying "Really? REALLY?" He does it all the time. His written work is a slight improvement

Stuckmann isn't a critic. If you produce youtube videos with your face in the thumbnail contorting into a wacky expression, it disqualifies you from legitimacy. Also he doesn't have a formal film education

Not familiar with the others. I don't read reviews, pop journals or bloggy lite-essays

I have a film degree (yeah, yeah) so I do know and have met a few academics. Its a different circle though. They don't mix with guys like Kermode and certainly not Chris "please Stuck my wife" Stuckmann

No, film criticism that can be like literature when it's done well.

Read these reviews
Manohla Dargis on Paterson: www.nytimes.com/2016/12/27/movies/paterson-review.html

A. O. Scott on Goodbye to Language:
nytimes.com/2014/10/29/movies/goodbye-to-language-the-latest-from-jean-luc-godard.html?_r=0

Ebert on the Tree of Life:
www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-tree-of-life-2011

Ed Gonzalez on Her:
www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/her

>I have a film degree

Wouldn't it be more productive to discuss film critics you respect and agree with then those you don't?

I should have gone to films

Okay. Anthony Lane for the New Yorker. Nothing mind blowing but I enjoy his prose

I tried once, but the averange Sup Forums user doesnt read reviews from

Village Voice
The New Yorker
New York Times
Reverse Shot
Film Comment
Slant Magazine
Artforum

They arent even critics.

that picture is very true. post moar cuckman memes

RLM and TGWTG don't actually criticize films as much as do skits and rehash the plot line in a goofy way.

>Slant Magazine
Nope.

Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outift in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up, I wiggled out from underneath him and ran crying from his house. He screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so I told him I thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and asked, "But am i a Big Guy for you?”. He motioned towards his dick, which he constantly referred to as “Zod’s snapped neck”, and told me to tell it to Zod’s snapped neck. I told his penis that he was a big guy for me, and he flipped me over and started talking me from behind, constantly moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.

Why? you are one of these people that think that they are ''contrarian''?

You know what it is, I got them mixed up with Slate.

Anything Sup Forums regards is good is something I have to hate to be above even their standards, so I can claim I have superior taste to them.

Do Sup Forums especially like Stuckmann?

...

>Implying they even know let alone care about this place

Trips of truth

What do people not like about Kermode?
Personally he is one of my favorite critics around, he has a massive amount of movie knowledge and I like the way he often talks about movies like a piece of art.

Stuckman is a reddit meme but I often watch his videos just to see how cringe and unoffensive they are

He's not a critic, he's a reviewer and he has a pleb's taste. While not necessarily a bad thing, he has nothing really insightful to say.

> Stuckmann
More of a vlogger than a critic m8.

> Kermode
Kill yourself, you capeshit lover.

This copypasta again?

that homo furfag who takes pride on not watching "old" movies because the effects are vastly inferior to modern movies and simply can't even compete.

That is the worst of them all.

He's the sort of autism that's more offended by the strippers in Wolf of Wall Street than the murders in Goodfellas.

Don't you know OP, Chris Stuckmann saves people from committing suicide.

Yes they are

>moviebuzz will never come back

>That time Stuckman unsubscribed from RLM because they called him a prick

Why does he have such thin skin

He likes Goodfellas and deservedly hated Wolf of Wall Street because there is like 1 hour of useless debauchery that could have been nixed.

He's no YMS, that's for sure.

Redlettermedia is okay

Chris Stuckmann, YMS, Jeremy Jahns refer to themselves as critics but they are not. I don't think any of them have seen over twenty classic movies. To talk about film you need to know the history of film, which these guys do not know.

It's missing a "I was always a really big fan of __." line

I like Jim Gisriel. He's pretty insightful

lol rekt, this is why I always carry a tazer on me

context?

Worst: RLM
Best: TFEW

Who is actually a good reviewer?

Good shout, i'll remember next time

This, I understand not liking Boyhood but liking Jurassic World and the Hobbit trilogy over it? What the fuck, Mike?

Except the debauchery was completely relevant to the world it was portraying, you mongoloid.

what's wrong with kermode?

Armond the troll white

He has a huge unjustified boner for anything made by women directors and/or British people

He said Ghostbusters (2016) has "lots of laughs".

>He said Ghostbusters (2016) has "lots of laughs".
He's not wrong, they laugh at their own jokes all the time

>tfw I've been watching Jahns for years and still love him

I know I may be in the minority here, but I don't really care. At least he isn't a bleeding heart liberal that tries to push some political agenda in his vids.

>putting Stuckmann on the same ĺist as real critics

Stuckmann > YMS > Jeremy Jahns > POWER GAP > Max Landis > RLM

But he also called it mediocre. He can be biased some of the time, but mostly he's dead on right. Mark Kermode is the best in Britain.

Never heard of POWER GAP. Also does Max Landis count?

Kermode isn't that bad. Stuckmann on the other hand is a joke.

>Needing a film degree.

I follow Kermode not because I agree with his opinion, but just because he reviews some movies I would probably completely miss otherwise.

If it wasn't for Kermode, I doubt I would ever hear of Wake in Fright, Kill-List or The Borderlands.

Sames.

Stuckmann is great. He's one of the critics on YouTube who isn't afraid of serious films.

Is this a joke? He barely watches any of them. Blue Is The Warmest Color and Manchester by the Sea are the only ones that come to mind that he has reviewed.

Kermode isn't bad though.

YMS's take on Moonlight was heartbreaking in its gentle simplicity. He's a great critic and not afraid to look outside genre films -- unlike some critics.

You know what's funny?

Most of you shit on them all, how you don't understand how someone can watch them etc but you clearly know their opinion and thoughs on most movies.

Seems to me that you watch their content more then someone who likes to occasionally check their channel out.

plus he has to put his ugly face on every thumbnail. it literally makes me not want to watch becuase of that

>his ugly face
Stuckmann is gorgeous. get out.

>Analysis video uploaded by Stuckman about Under The Skin
>It's literally just a summary of the plot and nothing more

How the fuck does someone like this get THIS popular?

He ain't great either.

This. He's great. People complain about his criticisms relying too heavily on technical flaws/competence and the fact that he often goes down these analytical rabbit-holes.

All fair enough but so what? The result is more than the sum of its parts.

That pissed off mexican guy, he was reviewing video games before. I don't quite remember his name

He doesn't know how to make his expressions look human then.

Angry Joe is great, mostly because of the four-part series he did on the cinematography in the films of Henri-Georges Clouzot. It's thrilling when serious films get spotlighted for once because it's sort of like spitting in the face of Reddit Letter Memeia and their stranglehold on film "criticism"

>Roger Ebert

Come on m8

I give them cred for at least having an understanding of the technical aspect of movies. Their taste is shit but at least they know how to technically make a movie. Too bad the content is bad (Space Cop sucked).

Stuckmann is just an annoying cunt who reviews almost everything to appeal to the larger masses. He's like YMS. No knowledge of anything outside of 80s-now classics.

Nah. He's just a pleb normie with generic taste for fanboy garbage.

I love Chris, Jeremy & Jay (from RML) because wow, that's a whole lot of sexiness right there (Adam J. from yourmoviesucksDOTorg (yms) is a cute too)

And it's pretty disgusting when it's serious movies that don't need his ugly mug.

Best kino reviewer coming through
youtube.com/watch?v=MukQMCkwApc

He criticizes films more thoroughly, logically, and in context than any other mainstream film critic in the world at the moment.

He criticizes films more thoroughly, logically, and in context than any other mainstream film critic in the world at the moment.

>The same episode they trash Boyhood they go on to shower praise on guardians of the galaxy

Probably the worst taste ever presented in a single instance

>Da-Tales
What the fuck is wrong with Americans what subhuman pieces of shit

He criticizes films more thoroughly, logically, and in context than any other mainstream film critic in the world at the moment.

You know who's a great critic? Chris Stuckmann.

Is he being ironic? How could anyone think any of what he just said.

This. Boyhood is fucking great and GotG is boring, rehashed trash loved by reddit quip-lovers

this Jim Gisriel is based desu

>Jim Gisriel
the best in the biz.

Thanks for this recommendation.

This is great, TY user. Love this guy!

Hi Jim. Sorry dude, but you have no charisma and your analysis is nothing to write home about. You'll never "make it" on Youtube.

Jahns is a good reviewer fight me

He barely reviews any films worth seeing. His #2 best film of 2016 was Captain America: Civil War. He is a pleb of the highest order.

He is dogshit. You are dogshit. Stop talking about films you useless faggot.

Hi Jahns

Jahns doesn't even do analysis, he is Plebimus Maximus. Most Youtube reviewers are trash, for different reasons.

Reddit Leddit Medittia gtfo

"""""film critics"""""

These are just youtubers

He looks like a guy who's mom has taken him to a bunch of personal trainers, hairdressers, nutritionalists and cosmetics experts and that's the best they could do with his pasty cheeks.