What are some movie theater hacks?

What are some movie theater hacks?

I don't get it

you fill up a straw with butter so you can drink it directly. The darkness of the theater hides your shame after everyone watches in the lobby as you fiddle with the butter dispenser for 5 minutes trying to line it up and spilling shit everywhere

What's the quietest thing to puke in? A bucket? Every time I watch a movie no matter the genre I stir in my seat fighting the urge to puke. Idk why it happens but I get super queesy. I think if I finally vomit the urge will go away.

if you ecstatically throw your popcorn and soda everywhere, right after a movie ends, the janitor has to clean it up.

Sweet. Good idea.

a backpack or a purse, probably. A bucket will reverberate too much as you fill it up

Disgusting.

what the fuck

What does Sup Forums do if they're in a cinema with barely any people and they need to shit and or "drain the main vein"?

Go to the rest room you fucking animal

>place both legs between seat folds in front of you
>slowly start lifting yourself up using your legs and the seat in front of you for leverage
>hover mid air
>let out a loud screech
>ticket boys will be scared off and can't kick you out for being in the theater alone

>Had to pee while I was at the cinema
>Only a few people there
>I was right at the back and everyone was in the middle and front
>Laid down on my side, unzipped my pants and started to piss on the floor
>Got sticky, but it was worth it

I like to piss in an empty 64 ounce cup and leave it right next to the last chair in the aisle so the janitor knocks it over and spills piss everywhere. If it's a dump I like to do it in a bag and then drop it in with the 3D glasses at the end

really loving these theater hacks!

>NOT DUMPING YOUR 1GAL SODA CUP AND FILLING IT TO THE BRIM WITH BUTTER TO SLATHER ON YOUR FACE DURING THE MOVIE
DO YOU EVEN THEATER HACK

I'm beyond caring at this point I just piss myself and pretend I spilled my drink afterwards.

This is like one of those things from WHOMP comics. R-ronnie? Is that you?

Someone post that cinema hack with the soda, popcorn and piece of paper.

Take some Dramamine Fuckoh

Who spend decent money to buy movie theater pop corn and then throw it away? Shit is expensive.

go to the toilets, put some dead mice that you sneaked in on the windowsill and you'll lure in your falcon, now you can take your falcon into the theatre without being stopped

user!

lol

shit into an empty popcorn bag

> Live in Australia

> No butter in our kinoplexes

:(

>$20 movie tickets

How do you explain why your drink was filled with piss?

if you forget to clean up before penis inspection, just use the bathroom BEFORE giving the usher your ticket
then just clean up and grab your falcon

bro I used to get that feeling ALL the time but in like the last year I have only felt that way maybe once or twice, something happened and its starting to go away.
Really have no clue why it started and why its leaving but it made going to see anything in a theater a pain in the ass, would always have to sit on the outside by the isles so I could duck out if it felt like I was going to puke.

>some wagecuck had to clean your sticky piss up

Brings a smile to my face. I always try to piss on the seats or take a shit on the floor so whatever wagecuck retard who has to clean up my mess earns his pay.

LMAO CLEAN IT UP WAGIE

I'm unironically considering pissing in my theatre for a laugh.

>YFW THE WAGIE WAS ALSO A ROASTIE

I've seen people posting about these butter dispensers before, but I've never actually seen one myself. Probably because I live in the new Euraliphate. Anyway, wouldn't this stuff just soak straight into your popcorn bag and just leak all over the place? It doesn't really appear to be gooey enough for it to just sit on the surface, that shit looks liquid enough to get in every nook and cranny. Doesn't this stuff also just sit on the bottom of the bag? Do you have to dip pieces of popcorn into it? Don't your hands get greasy as shit when you eat popcorn this way?

So many questions

who the fuck DRINKS butter?

U S A
S
A

LAND OF THE FREE MOFUCKER

>He doesn't drink butter

That's not even butter its fucking vegetable oil, oh GOD

...

QEQ

that setup is very early 2000's. pls don't tell me you watch your Sup Forums there. I couldn't live like that

Lonely, unemployed & slightly autistic? Here's the theater hack for you.

Study the upcoming showtimes for your local theater on a tuesday afternoon. Go to the earliest showtime you can and then just duck into another theater 5-10 minutes after your first move ends. You can hop to one shitty hollywood movie to the next all day until before you know it you've wasted 8-12 hours of your miserable life.

don't forget to stuff your pants full of snacks & drinks to keep your fatass refreshed for the entire day.

does this actually work?

i'd rather pirate movies and sit on my ass all day in the aircon

Fuck hacks. Just get your hand out of the butter stream.


>Fucking. Trifling.

Back in '97 my dad and I were visiting my grandmother in Austria. Titanic had just come out so we went to see it. It was all dubbed in German so I didn't understand a word they were saying, but whatever, you don't really need to. I was 7. The nice, big movie theater didn't have bathrooms where the theaters were, you had to go into the main lobby. But they had it set up in a way that if you went to the lobby, you couldn't come back in, despite you having the ticket stub.

I had to take a piss real bad. So my dad took the empty 1L cup of soda and took me right outside of the theater. We went to a corner and I pissed in it, then he just threw it away into the garbage. I hope I can do the same for my kid if I ever need to.

>ZIP LOCK EVERYTHING


It reduces a lot of noise

>throwing away perfectly good child urine

Get ur bro to hold it while you piss.

Actual theater hack, but everyone knows about it by now.

You can get as many people as you want into the theater with two tickets. Two people go in, one comes out with two ticket stubs, brings another person in. Repeat.

It is liquid, but generally it doesn't pool at the bottom because there's enough popcorn that it mostly gets absorbed. It will definitely start to pool if you go crazy with it though. Your hands get slightly greasy but there's also napkin dispensers provided.

The containers are generally designed to not get soggy with the butter, it's not conventional paper

The point of the hack in the OP is that typically when you use the butter dispenser, the butter just distributes on the top few layers of popcorn and the rest will be dry. By using the straw, you can immediately move the butter below that top layer and get a better butter distribution throughout the bag.

If you need to take a stinky fatboy place your empty popcorn bucket behind the seat and hover till the seat lifts

this created a little opening down the back of the seat, all you need to do is lower your trousers past your ass

do a test poop and if you hear a"dunk" you are at the correct position, If it make a dud or splat you need to adjust your position

If you spread your buttcheeks wide you will be able to stave of wiping till the end of the movie

straw gets butter to the bottom so you have more control over how much popcorn gets the butter. the way the system is set up you only get butter on the top and then have to deal with a bunch of stale, bland ass popcorn

also
>eating popcorn

he will not survive the winter

Pissed in a cup once while watching hobbit with my mate didn't wanna leave since we were cracking jokes throughout the movie and we were on a roll.
I emptied the cup on the floor when the movie was over fuck you and your overpriced shit

ITT: obesity hacks

do like all the fat girls do and take half the popcorn out of your bag drench it in butter and put it back in the bag.

and then put more butter on top

when im in my seat in a relatively empty theatre, i'll sometimes pull out a switchblade and start hacking the fabric on the seats to pieces. buy another one, dumbass wagies

I've done this once in the Netherlands hopping from one movie into another without paying and it worked. That was like 15 years ago tho.

> sticky piss
user, I think you might be diabetic.

Have some fucking dignity, you fucking animal.

>not going 2 days without water and then finishing off a large Icee and a ziploc bag full of melted butter to have the stickiest pee possible for the wagies to mop up
You have to be 18 to post on this board, kiddo.

When you go to the movies with a girl, buy a bucket of popcorn for both of you, make a hole at the bottom of the bucket so you can put your dick in it. Then just eat the popcorn with her like it's all normal and after a while she'll find a surprise in the bucket.
I got handjobs in theater several times doing that.

This is the grossest thing I have ever seen and I fuck fat chicks

put your gun in your bag of popcorn and they legally can't say anything to you

Get it coated with butter and she'll make it a bj

no joke i used to do this all the time back in the day when I was a punk teen at the dollar theater

I usually hold it, or if it's bad I'll just get up and go to the bathroom, Donald.

That's Gordon Ramsey.

I bring my own stick of butter and throw it on top of my popcorn. Gotta mash it up by hand for an even covering, but it's worth it.

well, "butter"...

they aren't even allowed to write the word "butter" in the machine because it's not butter

I CANT BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER FLAVORED TOXIC SLUDGE

Why are girls allowed to prop their feet on the back of seats?

>he doesn't want the sweet smell of woman's feet
>doesn't want to feel the little twitches when chad fingers her
Are you a homo?

is that a cupcake wrapper stuck to the wall

I do, but I take better care of my feet than any I've seen at a theater. I should be allowed to plop my soles in a relaxing, casual position too. It's bullshit.

It looks like a butterfly.

I don't understand popcorn butter.

Why would you want to coat something you're going to eat with your fingers in soggy goo?

OI YOU GIT, TAKE YER FINGER OUT OF ME BUM PLEASE!

Anyone else just park in the carpark and pick up the cinema transmissions via portable tv?

Fuck paying for tickets

often if I go to a restaurant or a bar or something and they do something to annoy me I will go to the bathroom, make sure no one else is in there, and piss on the floor or in the sink or something as a punishment to the venue. I've not done it for a while to be honest, but I think that's just because nowhere has annoyed me too much recently

>cinema transmissions

>he doesnt watch drive ins with a loaded sniper rifle safety off slowly panning back and forth between the movie screen and the audience.

because it's not soggy goo. it's more of a glaze

you're not suppose to drench your fuckin popcorn.

The private school I went to had single person bathrooms. I used to go to them for like 20 minutes at a time and jack off on the toilet, and then jizz all over the floor.
You have the flush the toilet of course to avoid suspicion.

>americans eat this

fucking gross

>yurocucks actually die of starvation while thinking of Americans eating.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Greasy Strangler thread?

this thread was fucking disgusting

always bring a mickey of whiskey to put in your coke.

reddit is down the hall and to the left.

RUSSIA, STOP HACKING THE CINEMA

>spineless nerds talk about all the things they wish they had the guts to actually do: thread number 126889

there's people itt who want to drink syrup butter out of a straw.

Your mom was fucking disgusting faggot

By a penis extending sleeve (basically a huge dildo you put over your penis) so you aren't embarrassed at the penis inspection. I did this and even the hung guys were giving me thumbs up.

What is penis inspection

no she wasnt she wasnt an autistic retard such as yourself everett

feels good to feel at home here too

www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2mecdr/to_butter_movie_theater_popcorn_in_the_middle_try/