SO STORY TIME
I freaked out my new alamancı neighbours into moving by going to a djinn imam fucker in a ghetto filled with Syrian kids. Basically, I went to a no-go zone just so I could freak out my neighbours into moving with some pig oil, pig skin, some arabic& assyrian text etc. Just so they would think they were cursed
I will properly green text a story after taking a piss
> Be me, living in a nice neighbourhood with neighbours I don't even notice most of the time
> Retired alamancı(Turkish german migrants) move into vacant upstairs flat
> They have the unholiest inner anatolian& eastern anatolian& german alamancı trash accent combo
> They are loud as fuck. They always sit on the balcony where I can hear them. I get to hear all of their gossips
> Not only that but the fucker moves radio or tv to his balcony. I WAKE UP TO HIS FUKKEN MUSIC ON SATURDAY
> Meanwhile, high school friend who moved away for university, graduates and he comes back.
> While we text scheduling a meet-up, I remember her mother was into magic. As in purifying shit, forcing her son to drink zemzem water for protection from evil etc. She would stitch evil eyes to my friend's jacket and such
> So. I just google translate random arabic words, I write them on a paper. Burn it a little bit, wrap it, make it disgusting. I take it to my friend's mother and ask her if she knows a djinn imam
> She knows someone of course
What's a djinn imam?
probably some kind of exorcist or witch doctor or something.
> She gives me the address. It is a ghetto. Tells me I shouldn't pay the man. She thinks someone is cursing me of course
> I am still going. Because I want some credible text. So alamancıs can take it to someone who knows Arabic and when they do, I want them to freak out
> Thankfully. It is going to rain that way. There was actually a flood but whatever. I wear my hoodies so I can blend in. I take a beanie and whatever
> Finally at this ghetto. Place is filled with goat fuckers no taller than 1.60cm. And of course random Syrians
> Close to 1.90m, I don't blend in. So I walk fast in the streets but it takes me a while to find the address
> I saw like a 12 years old syrian boy make 5 years old syrian hijabi girl inhale some shit. Place is fulled with random 14-20 years old Syrians and Gypsies. Being an originally a gypsy ghetto
> Find the place. Go in. The building is dark and it has no electricity but thousands of candles everywhere.
> Some headscarfed blonde, blue eyed but tanned probably some gypsy girl leads me to a waiting room. Tells me I am lucky when I snort and mumble my complaints. Apparently there isn't much people today. Considering it is going to rain
Genie, that lamp ghost from aladdin
that's the djinn part
what's an exact "djinn imam"?
witch doctor for arabic peoples
an imam who works with djinns? some kind of occult shit.
> After a while, the guy lets me in. I tell him the name of my friend's mother. She sent me here blah blah blah and he tells me yeah whatever I was expecting you
> So I talk to him. His practice is called Havas and it is pretty much stolen from Kabalah and other practices etc.
Funny enough once upon a time I was interested in this shit. But I had no discipline whatsoever. But I used to talk to this guy about Kabalah, Israel Regardie etc. Turns out his grandmother was an Ashkenazi. So I got a taqiyyah jew to come out. So although he is novice, if I actually get cursed I am thinking I can get him to help me. I know he had a more experienced mentor etc
Although, I did perform evocations and although I got some spooky results. There was no danger whatsoever even if I was not careful at the least
> Throw enough bullshit I know. We talk. He then rudely asks me why I am here. And then I ask if he knows Arabic. He say of course. And then I ask him if he knows Assyrian
> He ignores me and just tells me I am here for something else and asks me if it is a girl and whether I want him to bind a girl
you are a retarded faggot and your story is made up kill yourself
t. alamancı
t. ikibey
A quick info. I wanted some fucker who knows Arabic and who can supply some pig skin because for Turks, Arabic is pretty much synonymous with black magic here. Like you could scribble "Jamal was here" on paper, then shit on it and leave it somewhere slightly hidden. When the housewifes find it, they will take it to actual Imam and ask him to break it. It is how those fuckers actually make money here.
But Assyrian is actually the best. Because it looks like Arabic but when they took it to someone who knows Arabic. They won't be able to read it. And if it is super goatfucker Imam, he will go "OMG THIS IS EVIL THIS IS DJINN TEXT" not knowing it is Assyrian
And Assyrians have some sort of magick tradition for some reason. While Black Seans will be typically into fortunes, divination stuff. Whatever, back to story
> I tell him "no it is not a girl"
> At this point I am pretty sure this goatfucker fucks all of those bitches in the waiting room plus that gypsy girl
> And he looks like the most stereotypical religious goatfucker
> He is getting angry unstable. I suspect dude is pretty much unstable doing this shitty work anyway. And he has weed, magic mushrooms and more stuff in his jars at the back.
> I tell him I want my neighbours to move out. I want them gone. He calms down and tells me no this will not be for free. You want djinns yada yada yada
> I go whatever dude. I ask him if he has pig's skin. He tells me that's for me making husbands go unfaithful and what I need is not pig's skin
> We pretty much go on an arguement for like 20 mins
> I say dude I don't fucking care what is for. Do you have it? I just want it more spooky but I don't tell him that
> He says fine and then he goes on a self-dialog on what is he going to write and swears at me a little bit
> He is at his desk with some pig skin at this point so I don't fucking mind
> After he is done I just remember to ask him if it is Assyrian
> He gets mad again. Throws his Arabic writing at me.
bump
> Tells me, no, he doesn't know Assyrian. And he doesn't want payment.
> Stops me from talking saying he knows someone who knows Assyrian. He will call him and pretty much kicks me out to the room
> I am back at the waiting room. It is now raining like hell and the mad djinn guy blames me for it.
> All the women(there were only 2 left tho) in the waiting room goes "omg ALLAH DAMNED US FUG" "LET'S GO GO GO GO"
> Fug I am stucked here kidneys gone ebin xDDDDDD
> Gypsy girl lets some guy in his 40s come in
> and heck yes this is the guy
> the women don't leave and instead goes in the mad guy's room since they are stucked anyway
> new guy tells me we should wait for the rain to slow down
> a few mins in, it is actually raining hail.
> apparently the roof in mad guy's room goes down. The roof is made of tin just like ghetto gypsy houses
> gypsy girls say fuck it is going to flood and she dissapears.
> My mind feels dumb so I don't make a decision so I stay.
> It sounds like we are under a fire and they are shooting at us
> Thankfully it stops. The new guy says follow me. The mad guy looks furious and mental.
> So I follow him and we run towards the slurm part to this "still ghetto" apartment nearby
this is too hilarious to be on /x/. finish your story OP
> He run towards the stairs while I rest once we go in the apartment
> At least building has electricity here
> Wonder if this is my chance to save my kidneys. Like I was so unfazed about the djinn Imam. I was confident but I did not know just HOW MUCH OF GHETTO it was here. I browse my phone and public transport is rekt
> The door to flat on the first floor opens up and some kids peek in
> They are gypsies
> Somehow I feel more safe knowing they are gypsies and not syrians
> One of the kids goes "HEYYY WHAZZZUP BROTHER XDD"
> Some woman curses them and gets them all in and kicks the door closed
> Somehow I feel more confident again
> I go upstairs. The door is open. And it smells awful
> The guy has like hundreds of pigeons cages everywhere. And I can see some dead pigeons on his balcony probably dead from the hail
And fug I am getting lazy writing this
> The guy looks suprised to see me there and goes "oh right. just wait a sec"
> It takes longer than a sec and I just sit on a chair waiting on him awkwardly. You know, regretting _everything_
> After he is done. He asks me what I want. I explain myself. Ask him if he has pig skin whatever. I want to spook my neighbours into leaving. He does not. I think I have one piggy scary thing so I ask him if he has some papers
> He brings some papers and a calligraphy pen.
> He scribbles some Assyrian. We talk. The guy is half Assyrian. Yada yada yada yada
> He asks me if I really want my neighbours gone.Yeah sure.
> He tells me to come back tomorrow. I am doubtful
> So now I am thinking how the hell I am going to go back all this time and he asks me where I live. So think to myself there is no harm to revealing this because I really don't know how the hell I am going to go home if metro is out
> He doesn't know either. So I ask him if I could go to x district from here. So I can stay at my friends and he says yes
go on.
> Apparently he has business in neighbour next to mine. And he can bring one of his boys. His boys being one of his pigeons
> I went to djinn imam and now an assyrian guy is offering me to buy one of his pigeons
> Yeah dude how is that going to help??? At least pig skin spooks muzzies gaaawd
> He tells me to sprinkle some corn cereal to their balcony over night. So other pigeons eat it and his pigeon will learn not to ever come close their balcony while still being visible to them.
> He will tie up a bright red paper to his leg. And it will have an assyrian curse on it.
> Even if I don't believe on curses, there is no way they can get rid of his pigeon unless they shoot it and even if they shoot it, it should be enough to spook them.
> So it makes sense. The price is not too much. We exchange numbers.
> Plus. I am thinking, I can just drop my pig skin on their balcony with a stone attached to it. They could suspect me if I just throw some spooky shit in their balcony. But if a pigeon is there to spook them, they might well as think it is from the pigeon. It is going to be low effort on my part.
> So we meet up a day later when it is no longer raining. I get the pigeon
>pigskin
It would have been more believable if said goatskin or shitskin you Muslim cunt.
> The pigeon itself is spooky as fuck. He was pretty much a pet. He did not fly away from me. He did not fly away at all. I checked his wings to make sure they were not broken.
> I thought to myself whether the pigeon itself was possessed while snickering to myself. I was going to work few hours that day, so I left him in the storage room with food and water.
> That night I check the weather and it is fine. No rain whatsoever
> I made some pudding and left them over night. So I had an excuse to visit the neighbour upstairs to him.
> Otherwise I would have to go on a chair and shove some cereal to their balcony. I did not want to fall on an accident
> Plan worked. Neighbour invited me in after I asked her whether her glasses got any damage from the hail and how the weather was so freaky that day yada yada yada
> I excused myself to smoke in the balcony if she did not mind. Dropped corn cereal all over the asshole neighbour's balcony. Apparently his car got rekt so he was not home either
> I let the pigeon got out after shoving him I got water and food in my balcony for him.
> Pigeon ate. Then pigeon started creeping on their floor. It worked. And the bright red paper thingy was plastic and reflective and so "IN YOUR FACE" during sunlight hours. It was perfect.
> I waited a day so Pudding Neighbour would not connect the dots. Then I shoved the pig skin covered stone to their balcony.
> I heard them talking about pig skin shit that day. They were super spooked.
> They stopped using their balcony. I pretty much no longer heard them when I opened my windows
> Only for the occasion when the wife got on the balcony and wailed
> A few days later, things were calmed down a bit.
> So. I get the assyrian text out.
> I make similar copies of it changing the places of those letters. So. Then I remember. I can just google this alphabet. They shouldn't be taking all those papers to Imams
> So this day I was planning to drop the Assyrian text on their balcony.
> So this day I was planning to drop the Assyrian text on their balcony.
> I was waiting so they would not see me do it during night hours
> THEY SAW THE PIGEON. THIS WAS GOLD
> I tossed my Assyrian text to their balcony that night.
> The next day, they had an Hacı Hoca(think Imam) come to their house. And I guess their friends for praying.
> When I was shopping that day, I saw red brightly colored red candies in store. Candy holiday is soon in Turkey.
> I got them. I ate the chocolate. I got the wraps. I cut out those parts with candy brand names on it.
> I wrote some more Assyrian text on it. With Uniball green gel pen. THANK THE JAPANESE.
> I repeated until success.
> I heard them talking about shooting muh pigeon. So when he was around for a water break, I jumped on him and caught him pretty easily. I got his red Assyrian curse out.
> I left the original Assyrian text on their balcony that day
> I did not need the Chocolate Red Wraps. They freaked out and they left
> Now I have a pigeon friend who occasionally shits on my balcony. But at least this good boy does not make any noises
Yep. I am finished.
Nice story dude
fake as fuck
You can find bacon being sold here so nah
so why the fuck did it take you so long to figure out you can find assyrian text online?