How come critics hate XXX so much? This movie is fucking amazing

How come critics hate XXX so much? This movie is fucking amazing

Theyre jealous

Wait on a scale of Age Of Ultron (well-made but lifeless and predictable) to Crank 2 (FUCK YOU levels of insanity) where does it stand

Because critics just want oscar bait and dramatic racial biographies. They just can't admit to themselves that they enjoy fun movies

Even Angry Joe hated it and he liked Suicide Squad and Warcraft

>pg-13 action movie
is this an instant drop for anyone else?

Yet it will still gross almost as high as the Fast and Furious cinema allowing another to be made so ehh.

Why would I care what a retarded faggot beta like Mark Kermode thinks about anything, other than to believe the exact opposite?

NO RUBY ROSE/NINA DOBREV SEX SCENE
WTF!

I miss R ratings too but then I see fecal projectile like Deadpool and I think maybe it's not so bad.
In the 80s it was good for the extreme bloody violence, sex and drug references and coarse language.
Now extreme bloody violence is taboo, no one does coke anymore, actresses won't show their tits, and you get to say "shit" as much as you want anyway. I'm pretty sure some PG-13 films get a rare use of "fuck"

>Angry Joe

Angry Joe is a cucked spic faggot

...

Tfw no crank 3

>tfw

its cringey shit and vin diesel gay as fuck

Does the curry woman get naked or what? Only reason I would ever see this garbage

This movie was meme magic.

she's some italian whore

The lady on the right looks like a Brachiosaur

You're a knucklehead, that's why these movies speak to you on a personal level.

It's really fucking dumb in a not fun way.

Ha-ha! Time to make a kickstarter!

his gf at the beginning was way cuter/hotter than her

Does vin diesel know how physics works?

>The lady on the right

How was Nina Dobrev in this movie? Did she get a decent amount of screen time? I want her to succeed IRL so bad.

Unfortunately, no. They almost got the free falling plane scene right, almost.

>tfw no full out hardcore interracial gangbang porn of Amy Smart getting her holes shredded by huge dicks

Feels bad man, she has that meth addict look too, so you know if she ever hit rock bottom she'd be down for it.

If you like her constantly hitting on Vin Diesel and talking about how horny she is, you're gold.

this. exactly this. i would wager that xxx 3 is more entertaining than hidden figures or la la land

also, ruby rose is hot

I haven't seen Crank 2, but I'd put it at that end of the spectrum, there's a scene where Vin Diesel has to bang a room full of women in exchange for some information.

She was pretty good tbqh, definitely not what I was expecting having seen her in Vampire Diaries and Perks of Being a Wallflower.
is pretty accurate, but she does get a little more character than that,

Honestly Ruby Rose was the stand-out for me, her performance made me both incredibly horny, and kind of hype for John Wick 2

It was OK, could've used more action scenes. What was the point of casting Tony Jaa and have him do nothing? Donnie gets to kick some ass but if compare his end fight to Vin's it's like they weren't trying with Vin at all.

Well, she is one of the better actors to ever be on The CW desu.

>I haven't seen Crank 2

Faggot

Donnie was fucking based. He stole the whole movie.

Damn fuckin' shame.

>there's a scene where Vin Diesel has to bang a room full of women in exchange for some information.
I'm sold, but at the same time you need to fucking watch Crank/Crank 2. Of the many things in that movie:
>Statham shoves a shotgun up a fat Hawaiian's ass to interrogate him
>Statham pounding Amy Smart on a horse track while a race is going on
>a bad Mexican Elvis impersonator/crime lord has one of his henchman cut off both of his nipples
>kaiju fight scene

London has fallen was amazing as well, and they hated it even more

Her performance was fine, but some of the lines they gave her were straight-up cringe

I know

They were triggered by the fact that it dared to have American good guys and muslim villains, just go to its RT page and see how many of them mention Trump

I think that was the whole point though. The producers probably realized they couldn't sell the movie with just Vin so they hired Donnie to carry the movie instead.

>"Diesel never “transcends” race but he offers transracial identification like John Wayne, Sean Connery, and only a few other stars in movie history. So it’s disappointing that Diesel’s reprise of the role of Xander Cage, an extreme-sports athlete turned government operative, in xXx: Return of Xander Cage (following the 2002 blockbuster xXx that made his career) relies on obvious formula rather than extending the character’s meaning. There’s so much yahoo-homeboy-wigger calculation in D. J. Caruso’s action-packed sequel that one cannot dismiss the calculation inside the derring-do."

>"Samuel L. Jackson and Ice Cube (both xXx alumni) show up just to confuse the sense of multiracial appreciation that made Diesel unique. His Fast and Furious franchise with the late lamented Paul Walker was a decent extension of pop culture’s universality but this film’s globalized supporting cast (Hong Kong’s Donnie Yen, India’s Deepika Padukone) shamelessly panders to the international market. It says nothing interesting about unenfranchised people’s relationship to espionage and political power, only about Hollywood exploitation."

>trying to find meaning
>in fucking xXx
Armond what in the world are you getting at

>It says nothing interesting about unenfranchised people’s relationship to espionage and political power, only about Hollywood exploitation
Gonna have to disagree on this one, despite being a ridiculously stupid movie, the film ends with the rag tag group of international misfits going up against the main arm of US imperialism (the CIA) as Vin Diesel throws a miniboss nicknamed "GI Joe" out of an airplane toilet. It's about as critical of espionage and politics as you can get from a movie as dumb as this.

Cumquat.

Tony Gonzalez can't act for shit
also Ruby Rose is very pretty

>calling a poc a wigger

That's just offensive

Shame about all her meme tattoos

what the fuck did i just read

The asian guy didn't shoot toni collette before throwing her out of an aircraft

Sheesh.

You're all gay. This is not hot.

calm down. Its not like she would want you anyways

I couldn't stand her. If they didn't have that jetski motorcycle chase I would have been unhappy for the rest of the movie.

Archer and Ninja Turtles are pretty great though.

She looks like leonardo dicaprio. you guys are all gay.

tattoos are disgusting

Robbie?

She literally looks nothing like Leo. You are face blind.

That doesn't matter you sphincter twinkler. If you find her attractive your beauty standards are equivalent to a bisexual debutante. She's a meme actress and you're a homo so find some finer boipucci.

>ur bisexual
>ur homosex
Could you at least make your retardation less autistic?

>Age Of Ultron
>well-made

I really liked the first one, saw a few scenes of the new one and just knew it would be shit

Vin Diesel is in so many unnecessary sequels. I mean, triple X and Riddck are both trilogies

Because racism

I would fuckthe poo girl even though she probably smells like $5 tikka marsala

Because critics are morons that don't review a movie in context. They will judge popcorn flicks under the same criteria that they would judge Tokyo Story.

That's Armond, baby!

Hahahaha, not even mr. contrarian could stay in character long enough to praise this piece of shit. This shit is tops.

They're about the dumbest shit you can tattoo yourself with. All she's missing is taz and some disney princess.

I'm looking forward to watching LHF for that reason.

whats LHF?

Refer to .

>XXX trilogy
Wait, I thought this was the second movie. Is there some direct to video shit I'm missing?

There was the second one with Ice Cube in 2005

The weirdest sequel to UHF ever.

I never even knew this existed.

did you know that there are 8 fast and furious movies now?