Do Americans really do this?

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Do what?

Wipe from behind.

>wiping from the front

Girl you'll shit shit all up in your vagina

>Golden Globe winning performance

>is this achievable natty?

Men should wipe from the front, women from behind.

am i the only one who stands before wiping as opposed to the other around? i always found the latter to feel really awkward and its not like my ass is dripping after i'm done taking a shit

Why is he wiping while still sitting down?

Do Americans really do this?

youtube.com/watch?v=twZiDMCVxfw

>945▶
> (OP)
This tbqhfam

I stand with you!

I wipe once on the shitter, then I stand up to finish.

>wiping at all

Spot the poor fags

Best of both worlds

Nah, I'm also doing that. Feels more comfortable, I'm not even sure why.

>am i the only one who stands before wiping as opposed to the other around? i always found the latter to feel really awkward and its not like my ass is dripping after i'm done taking a shit
Sup Forums - Television & Film

>2017
>not potty trained

good lord what kind of household did you grow up in that allowed such deviant wiping behavior

Who the fuck over the age of 7 wipes standing up?

>some subhuman pisses and shits all over the asshole spout then it shoots shitty water into your asshole

That's how I was taught how to do it. Didn't know there was another way.

Use toilets? Yes, Pajeet, we do.

I stand and out a leg on the tub for maximum asshole exposure.

Sometimes I'll squat for the same reason.

I will always wash my ass after I wipe it clean.
Just wiping doesn't do it for me my asshole feels dirty no matter how clean I wipe. It's like if I accidentally get shit on my hand I wouldn't just wipe it off I'd wash the motherfucker with soap.
But it also not to cool to wash shit smeared ass right away.
So first I wipe my ass clean than I wash it with soap and water. Been that way since I was 10

Strip completely nude before taking a dump to avoid any possibility of poo particles drifting onto expensive clothes? Yes we do.

>applying a little aloe to the toilet paper for the last wipe to get that butthole really clean

Patrician only.

lmao that is literally what moms do to their babies you absolute cuck

not htat guy but you're the one with shit spread all over your ass, you're the cuck

I only stand up. tried it the other way a few years back and just made my ass crack shitty

Only women wipe while sitting.

Some people don't like getting their assholes wet but anybody who's had to go without showering for a few days before knows that only dry wiping will result in your ass gettting smelly and worse, itchy pretty quickly.

>implying that somehow makes it a bad idea

My asshole is smooth as silk, nigga. Check yourself.

My nigga

I've moved to a hybrid technique too. I remember this being a thread on another forum, we narrowed it down to four basic wiping techniques:

>stand up folders
>stand up scrunchers
>sit down folders
>sit down scrunchers

>literally stuffing your hand down the toilet after you've done shitting without taking your shoes off
American education

sit down, folded and wipe from behind

who's with me

We can't all have catamites to lick our assholes clean, Ahmed

Most movies show people wiping while sitting but the reason for that should be fairly obvious.

But you're putting your hand into the toilet. Why, can't you lift your butt a bit so that you don't put your hand into the toilet? Is this a fatty thing?

I lift one cheek and wipe from the side.
If it's a really nasty shit, I wipe then wash, then wipe again.

I usually wipe standing, though if I'm smeary, I'll wipe while sitting a few smears to thin it out first.

Yeah the hand is in the toilet but it isn't touching the bowl or the shit.

>into the toilet
The space inside the bowl is not some sort of faecal pocket dimension user. What you're suggesting fundamentally no different beyond placating your OCD.

This. Also,

>be Italian
>tfw bidet

I do lift my butt, my hand is nowhere near the water

i don't wipeshame but I feel like the dicke an balls are too much in the way from the front

>Tempting the loo witch
ISHYGDDT

POO IN OPEN

I always stand to wipe, and I wipe from the back to front, and then from the front to back.

gross.

>tfw wipe once with folded shit paper from behind in a swirling motion on my anus, apply one more to check for doo doo stains, then finish with a wet wipe

feels patrician man

shave your ass

That's gay.

wouldn't that itch like crazy

your gay

wax and bleach. guaranteed qt3.14 gf next time you go out.

>thinking you can clean your anus properly if your ass cheeks are in the way

What the fuck? Do you have like 0 ass or something?

How the fuck do you even wipe from the front without getting shit all over your taint?

Are you people autistic or something?

I used to when I was really fat

no, not for me at least ;)

>Are you people autistic or something?

where do you think we are

I shit standing up

I don't wipe. That's what underwear is for.

Tried it once
Sweat trickled down into my buttcrack all day and made my ass smell horrible

Nope.

>wiping your ass when its clenched

And you wonder why your underwear has streaks on it. You wipe while you sit so everything falls in the toilet and so everything you can actually get everything wiped you goof.

That's strange, I guess you live in australia and wear leather all day

he's hot af

His golden globe win was one of the most shocking upsets I've ever seen. I was watching with my mum and they said his name I started squealing. She thought I was mental

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>She thought I was gay

Ok...

Just dig deep and it isn't an issue.

>not folding yourself inside out and then popping forward through time until your butt has become clean again

Wow guys, I'm disappointed in you lesser beings.

>I was watching with my mum and they said his name I started squealing.

Why are you roleplaying Aaron?

>tfw it's been so long since you've taken a shit that you can't even remember which way you wipe

fair enough

I stand when I wipe, but it disgusts me and I hate myself for it. I only learned that most people sit when they wipe a few years ago, but it's too late to rewire my brain.

I think I will break the cycle and teach my child to sit and wipe, although I lack the technical experience required to instruct him to do so.

Have fun smearing shit all over your cheeks fucking retard.

Dude, its literally just sitting down and lifting your leg up or putting your hand between your legs and wiping.

Do kuffar really wipe their shitty ass with dry paper ? You'd think they would have evolved enough to understand that this doesn't clean anything and cause irritation.


It's not the middle ages anymore, house have running water

FUCKING INFIDELS ALLAHUU AKHBAR

I feel like this is relevant

literally 4 minutes away from where i live

heavily contemplating making an ass out of myself

I squat 4 plates so there is no way I can stand and wipe with how fat my ass is.

I have started using flushable wipes to start wiping and then finishing with toilet paper and it's been great. I would recommend, the best asshole cleaning experience.

I prefer wet wipes if I'm honest.

I'm not having that problem so maybe that says more about you than it does about me :-)

whoah, those replies make me think that post is EPIC

It only causes irritation if you're shitting 3 times a day and having to wipe constantly.

>not giving yourself a full on enema after every shit

Yeah, sure, it sounds easy enough, but in practice it's a much different deal. There's not enough space between my leg and the bowl or between my thighs. Plus how do you ever know that you're done wiping when you can't see anything?

who else lets their shit dry so you can collect shit flakes later

Is that a Mosrite? I'd kill for one. I'd even trade in my Les Paul for a vintage Mosrite.

It is literally impossible to not get shit on your cheeks if you penetrate your shitty anus with tp whilst standing. Just because there's nothing on dry toilet paper doesn't mean there isn't any shit. Or do you think toilet paper has some kind of secret technology that completely removes all shit and shit bacteria?

How do you wipe standing up? Doesn't your ass close? Do you use your offhand to pry open your buttcheeks? I honestly don't understand. I tried mock wiping my ass standing up in my cubicle but couldn't figure it out. Pls respond

what if you're forced to shit in a public restroom (god forbid) or maybe at someone's house?

I use baby wipes but I don't think citizens of The Great Satan can do that since if they flush them down the toilet it gets clogged

>I tried mock wiping my ass standing up in my cubicle

i hope everyone else went home already

>wipe from behind
>have to scooch forward pressing your dick against the inside of the bowl
>wipe from the front
>rub forearm against piss dripping dick

This, how does anyone go from the front?

Then lift your leg and tilt to the side. Besides you should be able to see into the toilet between your legs unless you're fat.

is this a new meme or something

wtf