>*FRODO'S WEAK IMMUNE SYSTEM IS NO MATCH FOR MIGHTY WIZARD FARTS AND BEGINS HEAVING VIOLENTLY
"BLEEEEEEH , *COUGHS* UAHHHHAHAHHHAHAHAHHH!!!!!!"
Jonathan Edwards
look I'm just gonna be honest here but BRAAPPP posting is fundamentally flawed
look at the space between her ass cheeks vs. the probable location of her balloon knot.
There's no way that that amount of hiney (which is almost all hips, and no hiney to be honest) would have enough intercheek tension to produce a BRRAAAPPP kind of noise.
If she was wearing yoga pants, or significantly fatter in the ass rather than the hips, then maybe. But this hiney is most likely going to produce more PFFTT type air-y farts than loud, BRRRAPPPP-y ones.
I mean just look at the spot where her turdcutter should be. There's guaranteed to be only 1.5-2 inches of skin max there. Definitely not enough to produce any kind of BRRAAPPPP
Also, that is clearly a Papa John's cheese pizza, which is almost certainly composed of pre-partially frozen crust, and chemical cheese substitute. Both of those would combine to be more of a gastric brick than a gas bubble. She's gonna be straining on the toilet later, not leaking out loud wet ass barks.
MAYBE if she was standing up, the fat in her caboose would redistribute downwards enough to provide the necessary crack pressure for a BRRRAPPPP, but right now, you're not getting anything close
I hope this helps.
Hudson Cruz
>you have my brrrrt >and my pffffft >AND MY BRAAAP
>toss me >what? >I CANNOT JUMP THE DISTANCE YOU'LL HAVE TO TOSS ME! Just... don't tell the elf >Not a word. HYEAH! >BRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Asher King
Unironically the best thread on Sup Forums
Owen Butler
kill yourself op
Nicholas Stewart
>THEY'RE TAKING THE HO- >*BRRRRRFFFFFTTTTTTTTT* >THEY'RE TA- urghhh >*grumble* >*thppppppppppppppppppppp* >I SAY TO YOU THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO IS...ISEN ughhhh >*THWPPPP* >ISEN- >*FRRTTTTTTTTTT* >urrghhh too much lembas >*PFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT* >I need to lay down urggg >*rumble rumble* >*tppth* >*grumble rumble* >oh mother of Eru >*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP* >JUST GO ON WITHOUT ME I- >*FRRRTTT* >oh shitty elfy doo doo is running down my tunic... >oh Manwe what would Galadriel think if she saw me in a pool of stinky poo? >*THHHPPPPPPPPPpppppppTHPTHPTHPppppppppp* >oh god >*FRTTTT* >oh >*THPPPPPPP* >fuck fuck somebody has to get the hob- >*BRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP!*
Samuel Thomas
never change, Sup Forums
Easton Hughes
i wish burp posting was a thnig rather than fart posting
Juan Cook
>fuck fuck ya blew it
Nolan Cook
It's meant to be read like "Fuck. Fuck, somebody...." But he's panicking so it comes out like "fuck fuck"
Wyatt Hughes
>Sup Forums - Television & Film
Jayden Long
I know.
Isaiah Peterson
An addendum: he's panicking because he's violently shitting himself and is embarrassed about what others will think if they catch him making poopy
Nathan Reyes
This is what I've needed in my life. More gandalf shitting, please
Daniel Gomez
Gimli could be heard chewing at the chicken leg as Pipping played with blocks on the floor like an idiot. Legolas walked back and forth around the Theodens hall waiting for the king and the others to come back while one of Theodens men stood deep in thought.
Gimli jeered and cheered as he swallowed the uncooked meat. "Ah hahahaha, raw meat off the bone!" he shouted belching, the fumes wafting toward Pippin who gagged. Legalos raised an eyebrow at Gimlis shouting.
"Gimli, you aren't eating the meat raw are you?" the elf asked concerned. Gimli nodded, raw chicken flesh caught in his beard as he swallowed a pint of mead.
"Aye laddy, raw meat off the bone! It's a Roharrim tradition!" he said tipping his mug at Theodens man who looked at Legalos shaking his head.
"Master dwarf, there is no such saying amongst my kinsmen." he says worriedly. "Eating raw chicken is dangerous, you could get sick or worse." he tells Gimli.
Gimli shakes his head in disbelief. "What are ye talkin about lad? I heard..." he says looking to Legolas who shakes his head. "I heard it was... oh no." he says burping, face turning green. "What have I done?" he asks feeling ill.
Legolas a bit scared shouts at Gimli, "You could die! Eating raw chicken could kill you!" he says worriedly as Gimli braces himself against the table.
To be continued.
Oliver Parker
It's like shitposting but it's not even shitty enough to be considered shitposting. Fartposting is a new low.
*pooot*
Parker Thompson
>Wayans Brothers will never make another comedy >they will never run loose with lord of the Rings and make a prolonged old wizard fart battle >they will never make anything better than Scary Movie 3
Xavier Fisher
The soldier of Rohan looked to Legalos thinking quickly. "We need to get him to expel the chicken from his stomach." he says getting an idea. "Quickly" he tells Pippin, "Run to King Theodens room, to his private bathroom and get his laxatives. We'll flush it out." he tells the young Hobbit.
Pippin nods and rushes down the halls toward Theodens bedroom and runs to the private bathroom, fumbling through his medicine cabinet and finds a box that says 'Laxatives' in large lettering.
Rushing back to the main hall he hurriedly gives the laxatives to Gimli he takes a bar out the chocolate stomach medicine out and munches it.
Theodens man picks the box up and his eyes widen. "These aren't the kings laxatives! These are his horses HORSE LAXATIVES!" he says in surprise as Gimli looks up worriedly.
"Is that bad?" he asks as Theodens man shakes the empty box.
"Yes! These are horse strength laxatives!" he says as Legalos smacks his forehead. "Where are the rest?" he asks looking around in time to see Pippin, excitedly caught up in the moment tearing into the laxatives and giggling maniacally like a child.
To be continued...
Carter Scott
They did Scary Movie 2.
Scary Movie 3 is GOAT, but it's by the David Zucker,
Jonathan Stewart
this thread went south so fast XD
Jacob King
Calling it now, Brapposting is THE meme of 2017.
Matthew Williams
Thank you for clarifying that
Christian Turner
Gimli groans and leans into the dining table, raising his hand and burping. "I'm fine laddy, i'm fine-" he says farting loudly. A wet, disgusting dwarf fart tearing through the hall as Theodens soldier and Legalos cover their noses.
Gimli, embarrassed blushes through his beard. "Ah, ha ha, just a little-" he says before shit gushes down his clothes onto the floor in front of everyone in horror.
Suddenly Pippin rockets off the floor, shit propelling from his ass as his Hobbit half quarter pants fly off launching him to the chandelier where he grabs on and begins to spin, the force of the shit flinging him around and covering the room in shit as Gimli begins to vomit and shit at the same time, becoming a whirlwind shit machines covering Theodens man and Legalos in shit as Pippin drops to the floor and runs down the hall screaming.
"I'm scared! Help!" he screams all the while laughing at the same time as shit projects from his ass speeding him down the hall where he runs from room to room.
Meanwhile Gimli is spinning in circles on his side as puke and shit flies everyhwere and a handmaiden runs from the hallway covered in shit screaming "There's shit everywhere! It's everywhere!" she cries as Gimlis shit sprays her.
To be continued...
Sebastian Cooper
>the jews made the best one of course
Luis Myers
Gimli was crying in pain but he couldn't stop, the horse laxatives tearing his small dwarf tummy a new one as he projectile vomits and shit around the room as Legalos tries to use Theodens soldier as a shit shield.
Meanwhile Pippin skips from room to room, shit spraying everything in his path as he laughs uncontrollably, handmaidens screaming, covered in shit trying to escape the Hobbits bowel terrorism only to be greeted by Gimli's shit storm spinning around the main hall.
Flash cut to the outside of Theodens hall as soldiers spray a naked Pippin down with a water hose as Gimli stands naked and wet, a blanket around him while Gandalf stares in disgust at the hall and back at Pippin. Aragorn tries to stifle his laughter as King Theoden screams in sheer shock and awe.
"Goddammit! It's everywhere! It's everywhere!" Theoden screams walking back and forth, shaking his hands toward his shit covered home. "It's fucking everywhere!" he screams, his voice shaking.
Gandalf turns to leave, passing Pippin who he looks down on in disgust as Pippin looks up covered in water, wrapping a towel around his shoulders as he giggles and smiles broadly.
