You're walking in the woods

>You're walking in the woods
>There's no one around you
>Your phone is dead
>Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, Shia Labeouf
>He's following you about thirty feet back
>He suddenly gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint

What do?

stomp his kite

Why are you afraid of the woods cityslicker?

Since I'd have no fucking idea what's going on and I've never been in such ha situation nor do I have the will to live I would probably just sit down and wait

Tell him to fucking DO IT!

Wake up.

ACTUAL CANNIBAL SHIA LABEOUF

SHIA LABEOUF

Find a stick to pluck out the excess Shia under my shoe. I think I might've stepped on him

>you're walking in the woods
>-

what one?

I wouldn't do nothing because I'm older than him and I would beat him up.

Do you think that kid cried after Shia embarrassed him?

Only after Shia slithered his shaft into his succulent, sumptuous boipucci

Frantically scatter my acid blotters on the ground.

you posted this thread at this exact time yesterday too
Why?

he looks like a child with pubes glued to his face

I'd probably compliment him or something, I think he's a pretty cool guy, he grew into a true auteur despite starring in transformers films

>befriend Shia
>convince him to go full radical anarchist
>slowly get him to accept Jews as the real enemy
>at this point you just let him be and the rest will be sorted out
>Shia begins bombing Synagogues and killing CEOs across the world
>takes some jews hostage and forces them to build a transformer
>it's Optimus Prime
>Shia enters into a final boss battle with George Soros
>he claims victory along side the autobot
he just needs some guidance

Strip all my clothes, apply my emergency crisco and start waving my arms to make myself seem larger

Take him out with my assault rifle.

I'd kick 'im in the 'ead and say, "knob'ead."

I'd ask him if he was the only one who DIDN'T fuck Megan Fox on the set of Transformers.

thats how bots work

It's like I've said to yer before about Shia an' that.
'Angin' around in the woods, dressin' himself all homeless. It's because he was in rubbish films. That's why 'e wears a paper bag with words on it.

Lemme ask you this then; why do you think 'e 'angs about near a bunch of trees? Turns out little monkey fella.

reddit

I'd hit him, but then someone would probably say that shia hits harder so me hitting him is pointless so in other words why even bother posting

this thread wasn't good the first time you made it

>realize this is a dream because he's in jail
>fuck his asshole until I wake up with cum in my undies
I hate lucid dreaming.

You spelled autist wrong

typical reddit false flag

What did he did?

Shia isn't a professional, he isn't a competitor, he isn't an athlete. He's a drinking, chain smoking, 160lb dweeb that has trained a little bit of boxing. You think you automatically become this "fighter" just because you've attended some boxing classes and have hit a few pads? This just proves you have NEVER TRAINED in any martial art. You're a punk tough guy that claims he got in fights everyday at his highschool. As if we're suppose to be impressed by that. lmao

I myself have competed in Jiu Jitsu tournaments several times and WON several times and still don't consider myself a fighter. And quite frankly, I wouldn't consider myself a fighter unless I was competing in MMA fights regularly trying to make it big.

I'm not bragging and I'm not even sounding to sound tough. 23, 6'0 and 185lbs. I've been lifting regularly and training in boxing jiu jitsu and/off since I was 17. I'm not saying I'm a badass that could go around kicking everyones ass, but I would easily fuck this little Shia bitch boy in his boi pussy if he tried to play that tough guy shit on me.

>Quiet, quiet

Why are internet tough guys always secretly gay?

I'll beat your fucking ass, faggot. Have you seriously never even been in a fight before? Cunts like you and Shia will never be on my level so don't even try, bitch.

Oh shit guys don't mess with this dude

>BUT YOU KNOW JIU JITSUUUUU

s-sorry

can i suck your dick?

This you?

>walks away and immediately pulls out phone to post on Sup Forums
some people are just too gay for this world