TAKE MY WIFE PLEASE

TAKE MY WIFE PLEASE

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the best one liner of all time

>TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE
It really needs the comma or the joke doesn't work on the page

i dont get it, is he a cuck?

I don't get this joke

He get's no respect, i tell ya.

>Henny explained the origin of his classic line "Take my wife, please" as a misinterpretation: in the mid-1930s he took his wife to a show and asked the usher to escort his wife to a seat. But his request was taken as a joke, and Youngman used the line countless times ever after.

he doesnt like his wife

Wife-hate jokes were hilarious back then

GAVE ME SIX MONTHS TO LIVE,
COULDN'T PAY THE BILL
GAVE ME ANOTHER SIX MONTHS

This joke is literally the whole premise/script and origin of Married with children.

SHE SAID COME OVER, THERE'S NOBODY HOME.
I WENT TO HER HOUSE, THERE WAS NOBODY HOME!

WENT TO A FANCY HOTEL, TOLD THE BELL BOY TO HANDLE MY BAG, HE FELT UP MY WIFE!

I SAID HEY, WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD GET FRISKY WITH MY WIFE, HE SAID EVERYBODY!

MY DOCTOR TOLD ME YOU'RE FAT.
I SAID I WANT A SECOND OPINION.
HE SAID FINE, YOU'RE UGLY, TOO.

Not knowing the difference between Henny Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield. Good jokes are timeless, though.

genuinely funny

"six months to live" is a youngman joke

DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR ZAIUS

Saw Rodney on Johnny Carson, it's funny how Johnny just leans back and lets Rodney do his thing like he owns the place.

BARTENDER ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED, I SAID SURPRISE ME.
HE SHOWED ME A NAKED PICTURE OF MY WIFE!

I hate to go full grandpa mode, but Johnny really knew how comedy worked. I was pretty impressed when I watched him. I thought people were praising him because of nostalgia, but he always does the exact perfect thing comedy-wise. How he interacts with the guest is a good example.

You need to say it so it sounds like you're giving an example at first. "Some women hate cooking. Take my wife, please, take her.

that one segment was funnier than the entirety of everything jimmy fallon has ever done

I ASKED MY WIF IS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE?
SHE SAID THERE MUST BE!

I stand corrected.

A couple for Sup Forums:
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
My motto is "Love thy neighbor". My neighbor is an 18-year-old hooker.

Here, all the best from "The King of the One-Liners". funny2.com/henny.htm

Truly a cuck visionary

Our next act is a puppet act, he's going to becoming out here with a puppet and pretending it speaks.