You want life to stop suffocating you? Don't hold your breath, Ray. Me? I don't even have lungs. I got gills...

>You want life to stop suffocating you? Don't hold your breath, Ray. Me? I don't even have lungs. I got gills. And that's why this shit smells real fishy to me

>they say even a stopped clock is right two times a day, Ray. What they don't tell you is that I switched from analog to digital and my battery is just about to die

>They say the way to a man's heart is his stomach. Well I got a gastric bypass and can only eat small preportioned meals. Sometimes I can chew a little steak, spit it out. They call it living, but it's just dying a little slower. Caspere knew this.

>there's a saying Ray: it goes "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Well guess what, I'm in LA and I don't have a fuckin' clue what the Angelenos do. I crashed this girl's quinceanera the other day, brought a poncho and everything, they yelled at me and threw me out. I drove down to Compton to hang with some crips, they kicked my ass because they couldn't handle my 'tude. Can you believe that? So now I'm putting on my toga, and wherever I go Rome is coming with me. It's orgies and vomitoriums for everybody, Ray. Because as it turns out, once I go black you better believe I go back. Caspere knew this

I love Frankposting

best Sup Forums meme

>They a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But you know what Ray, there's a lot of goddamn cunny posters around here and I don't see any bushes.

>My grandfather told me you can discover everything you need to know about everything by looking at your hands. I've been looking at mine all my life, every day since I was 5, and you know what I've just realized? They're fucking feet.

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>Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat?

>they say that dogs are man's best friend, but they don't tell you is that it's a dog eat dog world out there and I've got nine lives

>My father once took me round the back, showed me a glass of water. He asked "You think it's half full or half empty?" Truth is Ray, it was neither. The glass was upside down and I'm trapped inside it. Casper knew that much.

>My father once asked me "You see this glass? You think it's half full or half empty?" Truth is, Ray, the glass is upside down and we're all trapped inside it. Casper knew that much.

>Honesty is the best policy, Ray, but foreign policy doesn't mean shit these days. We're not a United Nations, we're a bunch of lawless animals running around for a meal to scavenge.
>But hey, at least I'm honest about it.

>Another financial argument. They were common in that family. One day I walked in on them in the kitchen, screaming at each other at the top of their lungs after a neighbor called up to report it. I heard her tell him that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. He only smiled at her. Fucker said he could kill two birds worth with just one stone before socking her in the teeth. Knocked her out cold. I was ready to fly out of there.

>some people say the glass is half empty, others say it's half full. What they don't tell you, Ray, is that either way you gotta wash it and I'm all out of dish soap.

Why do normies unironically think le edgy drug fedora man and Woody Harrelson is better than based Vince and drunk Colin Farrell?

>you know what ray? Some people believe in god and some people cling to drugs to bring inner peace. What they don't know is my fedora just tipped and I spilled my cocaine. Caspere knew this which is why I'm in rehab, making the twelve steps my disciples as I walk to Damascus.

Solid fucking gold. Vinceposting is a treasure.

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damn I really like the first one.

Imagine being Colin Farrell in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Vince Vaughn, you fuckin' eloquent, all sage with your elaborate vocabulary and horrific pretentious analogies. I would totally be shaken by your rethoric, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is shoot another scene with Rachel McAdams. Like seriously imagine having to be Colin and not only stand in that pier while Vince Vaughn flaunts his stilted solliloquy in front of you, the emotionless delivery barely concealing the excesive verbose and lack of pathos, and just stand there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that monologue. Not only having to tolerate his grating fucking deliberate pauses but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, VINCE VAUGHN VAN DELIVER DIALOGUE LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to stand there and watch his droopy mouth conjure awkward declamations you didn't even think were possible before that day. You've been acting opposite nothing but a healthy diet of Al Pacinos, Tom Cruises and later alleged Ben Afflecks for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Ireland. You've never even seen anything this fucking bad before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his wrinkled forehead as he frowns menacingly at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to stand there and revel in his "subdued (for that is what he calls himself)" performance, the performance he worked so hard for with personal acting coaches in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could outact the shit out of Vaughn before the studio security could put you down, but you stand there and endure, because you're fucking Colin. You're not going to lose your future Harry Potter career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

>My dad was a math teacher, Ray. He used to always tell me when I was acting up that I was being obtuse. Thing is, he's dead now and I've always been a circle.

>You know what Ray? They told me to follow my dreams when I was younger, but those dreams are on a one way street straight to the whore house and I'm all outta cash.

>I once told a woman that I was lost in her eyes. That was a lie, Ray. I never get lost. I never even owned a fucking map.

The central conflict of season 2 and the characters' personal stakes in it wasn't not clearly communicated to the audience. Its themes of sex did not have a proper wrap up after "Everything is fucking." Instead they hoped the audience would understand that the men dying and the women living along with carrying their legacies would be enough for people to pick apart what they meant by this. Too much faith in HBO viewers.

>Life's got me by the balls Ray. And sometimes, the only way to protect your jewels is to cut them off. Caspere knew this.

>"Punks like you are a dime a dozen but me? I'm a roll of nickels and nothing is gonna change that."

>Ray, everybody's got problems. I got em, you got em, we all got em. Sometimes the bullshit just keeps piling up and it starts to feel like you're raking leaves on a windy day. This is, Ray. I don't have a rake. I have a shovel and I'm gonna get rid of the bullshit right now

>They say that blood is thicker than water, Brother Ray. But I'm on my period and we're in the fucking desert.

>They say that time and tide wait for no man, Ray. But guess what? A storm is coming, and I don't have a watch.

>They kept saying it was like teaching a fish to fly, Ray. But I did learn how to fly fish and now I'm shit up the creek and without a fucking paddle.

I fucking love vinceposting

>When life hands you lemons you're suppose to make lemonade. The problem is, Ray, that there's a drought on in this town and Caspere already drank up all our water.

>they say that shit rolls downhill when things go wrong. they don't tell you that I'm in an uphill battle with time and it's pissin me off

>It's a dog eat dog world Ray, and I'm the fucking Chinaman

>they say you gotta give respect to get respect but, this year, I'm fuckin Santa Claus and everybody's getting coal in their stocking

>They say actions speak louder than words, Ray. But when I start kicking the shit out of a blind man I'm gonna make damn sure he's all ears.

>when the going gets tough the tough get going. Heh. what they don't know is I'm staying right here, waiting for tough to come to me

Kek

>It's a dog eat dog world out there and I'm the fucking Chinaman.

What did he mean by this?

>I went to the Grand Canyon once and screamed out "it's a dog eat dog world and I'm the fucking chinaman." You know what happened next? Nothing Ray. I never repeat myself, not even a fucking echo.

You know Aesop's Fables, Raymond? The Tortoise and the Hare? Slow and steady wins the race in that one, but not out here. You gotta stop the race before it starts. With a little turtle soup.

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>Fitzgerald wrote in the great gatsby that there are no second acts in life. What he didn't know is that I'm like an unread library and I pull Daisy's in the spring.

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>They say Absolute power Corrupts Absolutely. But you know what Ray? I hook up my toaster to something that could kill me and it gives me toast.
>I guess it is true after all, what doesn't kill you gives you toast.
>Adn so will you.
>They need to see the fraud you are, the blood on your hands.
>And tonight, they will. Because you, ray, have a date!
>Across the bay!
>ripe fruit his hate, two years growing, but it did not take much to push him over, actually. Little red notes, big bang, YOU LET YOUR FAMILY DIE!
>And now you will fly to him, nad you will battle him. To the death.
>Black and Blue. Fight night.
>The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world. God versus Man. Day versus Night. Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham.
You think I'll fight him for you?
>Uh..Yes I do! I think you'll fight fight fight for that special lady in your life!
She's safe on the ground. How about you?
>Close, but I'm not talking about Lois. Every boy's special lady is his mother!
>MMMMMMMMM.... Martha, Martha, Martha
>Now, the mother of a flying demon must be a witch! And the punishment for witches, what is that? That's right, death by fire.
WHERE IS SHE??
>I don't know, I would not let them tell me! Now rahhhhh! If you kill me, Martha dies. And if you fly away, Martha also dies. Butif you kill the bat,mmmmm. Martha lives.
>and now god bends to my will.
>Now the cameras are waiting at your ship for the world to see the holes in the holy....Yes,the almighty comes clean when it counts! To save Martha, bring me the head of the Bat!
>Mother of god, would you look at the time! When you came here, you had an hour! now it's less!

What are some actual quotes from the show that inspired Frankposting?

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Vinceposting is honestly the best meme Sup Forums has ever created

Old screencap

I don't get the Casper knew thing, when did he say it?

even ignoring the potent digits this one is great

It's like you're trying out some new material before taking it out on the road.
Pretty fun to witness.
First was better,bro

>You can't stop me, Ray. You can't even stop yourself.

Rather new to Sup Forums

This is fucking hysterical, and I actually liked the character.

>There's an old saying Ray... "Don't dig yourself into a deeper hole", Instead I hung around for 20 years and decided to decorate it.

holy fucking kek. thankyou user

biblical

>They tell you from birth to be yourself, Ray. If that's the case, then which part of me is the flesh eating crocodile?

I wish people talked like this more often in real life

Literally just better script and direction, not much else. Your confusion doesn't stem from the content itself, but its reception. You're a retard who needs to be told what to like by means of consensus.

i don't get the "caspere knew this" meme, that 3 words sentence has literally never been used in the whole show

Just letting you know that someone appreciated your post.

I literally said to a woman and she had sex with me later

>some people say that time is a flat circle. You know what ray, they're right and I've gotta a Rolex to prove it.

thing that fucked with me about this season is how they used southern slang for socal characters.

"my hands, they're all shakey like."

get the fuck outta here. that's some alabama shit.

>ywn watch season 2 while shitposting with Sup Forums ever again

this is my least favorite life

did you use the full line? or just the first part?

>Ever ask a turd if its better inside or outside an asshole? I did cause I lived inside an asshole called cell 116 on D block for 15 years, Ray. And you know what I said to myself? After all that time surrounded by other shits? I said try picking the corn out in January smart guy.

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some vinceposts were so good some anons thought pizza was ghostwriting them

I said "your eyes are so beautiful I could get lost in them but I never get lost. Never even owned a fuckin map."

The greatest Frankpost i've ever seen.

underrated post, and correct.

winner right there

>Sometimes it's not the milk that's bad, it's the cereal.

>you know what ray, sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you. But guess what, I'm at the super bowl and I don't see any bears around.

>my mother used to tell me that a watched pot never boils. Thing is Ray, I lost my glasses and all I've got is a saucepan.

>a penny saved is a penny earned, Ray. They never mention the pennies you find on the street. Just a heads up pal, I'm a dime piece all the way.

>You know what, Ray? This city has a short fucking memory. One day you're at the beginning of a sentence standing tall and proud. The next day, you're smashed in the middle of a jumble of letters without anybody of knowing if you're an "i" or an "l." Thing is, Ray, I'm like a forgotten old tee, and nobody crosses me.

"There's this video on YouTube of a chimp in a zoo and he's raping this frog's mouth without a care in the world. You know what the only thing that separates him from us?
We don't got no fuckin' frog, Ray."

ayyyyyyyy

I'm dying and I don't know why

>they say you shouldn't shit where you eat, well you know something Ray? I have a colostomy and I'm always hungry

>My ma always told me not to count my chickens before they hatched. But here's the thing, Ray. I killed all them counts when I became the king of this shithole. And I've already had breakfast.

season 2 was the best one desu

The say the clothes make the man. But that's horseshit, Ray. I got a chinaman down in south Central that makes my clothes, and I ain't made of no fine china. I'm telling ya, Ray, I'm made of good old American brick.

I'm stealing this and saying it IRL now on

>fool me one time, shame on you ray. Fool me twice, and I won't get fooled again. Caspere knew this.

This makes too much sense.

>if you sleep with dogs you'll wake up scratching, Ray. what they don't know is, it's too cold for fleas in Canada so I can fuck all the dogs I want.

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/thread

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>It's all about living the dream, Ray. But if you're living the dream, how do you know if you're awake or asleep? Caspere knew, and that's why he's never waking up again

kek

>my mother once asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I told her life is the easy part, death is the hard part because you can only live it once but I've a lifetime to live life.

I never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.

good shit. is this one of his actual lines?

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