The public loo

Does Sup Forums do this with toilet paper in public bathrooms? Or does it not matter since they don't poo in loo anyway?

The toilet seat looks like a fucking mummy before I sit down, along with a few squares as a "landing strip" to prevent splashback.

Exceptions
>integrated toilet seat cover that changes automatically
Some airports have these, I hate them, they're cheap.

>paper toilet seat covers
Take one out of the holder and apply + couple squares of paper in the water, sit down. So much quicker.

No, because Im not a pussy faggot or a woman.

of course. many public restrooms where i live have those toilet bibs right above the toilet so you don't need to do that though

I do this and then piss on it and leave.

I'm poo-shy so I only poo at home where I can use soft wet wipes on my ass to get it sparkling clean.

>mfw one girl in my anonymous alcoholics group claims public toilets gave her syphilis

You would be stupid not to do so. Should use more than three pieces though, there is a lot that isn't getting covered there.

I used to do this but it became too much of a hassle and I stopped. In general I try not to take shits in public bathrooms.

No because I'm not a faggot like you OP. I have a mans immune system. My white blood cells slay shit daily.

Nice double shitpost, m8.

It's pretty pointless and a waste of paper, since germs have a hard time sticking to porcelain. I'll just refrain from using it if there are piss stains etc. Also use a landing strip like said to prevent splashing

>pooping in a public toilet
This is literally the main reason I work from home.

If I'm pooping in a public toilet it's because it was so urgent that I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it until I got home.

In which case there is no time to prepare the toilet seat, the need to relieve my bowels takes precedence.

No, I just sit on the bare seat..

She's lying to cover up the fact she's a slut.

She was likely raped by migrants in a public toilet. She's telling the truth.

>Pooping outside your home

Nope.

Why not squat on the toilet seat?

I've only pooped in public restrooms once or twice in my life. Both times were emergencies when I couldn't take the time to care.

why would you give up drinking, have the mudshites put the fear of allah in you?

I'm supervising the group.

I squat over the toilet in the horse stance and play shit bombardier.

Like this?

do you drink in front of those poor bastards? i used to go to an AA to get boozed up.

Definitely. I usually do two layers of toilet paper around the sides. I used to just do one and sat and got my butt wet.

wouldn't you just get shit all over your pant legs and shoes?

When you have an office you return to daily, you get used to the toilets and find good spots and good times to go when it's totally isolated. And you can also jack off.

Most of them just come there because they were sentenced to do so. The volunteers are gone after 1-2 times, because most of them are simply assholes that don't want to go to jail.

That's how I public toilet

No. I take pants and underwear off, hang on the coat hook.

>Shitting anywhere that is not home

Eat right and shit once a day, you burger junkies

>you get used to the toilets and find good spots and good times to go when it's totally isolated.
Yeah this is stressful as fuck for me. Knowing someone can walk in at any moment.

And you have to think, if you found a good spot/time, it's liable to be found by someone with similar anxieties. This happened to me before.

Honestly I wish I were just an alpha bro who took shits at work with no shame. I'm a closet-pooper for sure, I want complete privacy and I don't want anyone to recognize that I was gone for a longer period of time than it should take to piss.

Also

>fapping at work
I've never done this and don't imagine I ever would. I've never been so horny at work that I feel like I need to bust a nut.

>eat lunch
>feel drowsy around 2-3PM
>make coffee
>drink coffee
>metabolism increased
>suddenly have to poop
>hold poop in gut all afternoon

>drive home
>no longer have to poop

Normal toilets aren't made for squatting on. Google "broken toilet squatting" to see why.

i allways take a bunch of toilet paper mak them wet and drench them in soap so i can clean the seat a bit, but i only do it if my bowels are in threat of a nuclear meltdown.

When someone walks in I just start flushing a lot so they can't hear my poop hitting the water.

>Google "broken toilet squatting"
I always guessed this would be the case, I just never imagined you will look like a dolphin trough a meat-grinder.

...

>2016
>Not shitting on the floor
>Not voting stay
It's like you don't even want to be enriched

who thought it was a good idea to make ceramics so goddamn sharp

I remember I had a retard moment where I reheated the ceramic part of a crock pot on the stovetop and that nigger cracked in a perfect circle

Just give the seat a wipe with the tissue to get rid of any liquids and just go shit normally.

If you're to autistic to do this, go and buy yourself a plastic bag, cut three holes in the bottom and wear them like a pair of pants with a shitflap, then go shit.

I don't see shit in that toilet (or blood). Is it safe to assume that guy's in even worse pain as he's still needing to take a shit?

First I shit on the seat, then smear it around the edges. Then, I sit on the the poo and wiggle a bit until I can feel it smooshing out the side of the seat side of my legs. Next, I go pee, because at this point, I've pooped, yet not pepped. Then, I quickly wash hands in the poop water, and leave the restroom pantsless, fapping my dingdong with a poopbutt.

fucking what?
i've never even.. what?

If you tried doing this without first removing your pants first, then I can't help you.

It's not a method I've tried. I had a spark moment of wondering how an autists shits in public.

This all fun and shit, but seriously.

We have become Sup Forums. Get this fucking shit out, this is a politics board.

Pic-related dictates how I poo in loo

Yeah I do that.

I do that in case there is any poop, urine, or pubic hairs on the toilet seat. Sometimes you can't see urine on the seat but you will notice it because it changes the color of the toilet paper you put down.

Who wants to sit their bare ass cheeks on some other dudes urine?

>I like to sit in aids cos I am man

Mostly never because I pick my toilets carefully, and look for unused clean ones. I shit in a lot of bathrooms outside of home though, never understood why people are so shy

I put my feet up there and squat. No seat on my meat.

...

>not doing the infamous hover poo
also a great leg day warm up

I'm doing this right now, at home. Even at home I refuse to make contact with the seat.

surely wearing plastic pants all day is possibly more autistic than laying out a little bog roll

so it was YOU

I have my own bathroom in my office.

Fucking plebians.

But yes, before I had my own bathroom, the toilet seat would be lined thicker than a phonebook.

good god

>manlet immune system detected

Underrated post.

kek