Why did Newman kidnap Elaine?

Why did Newman kidnap Elaine?

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wattpad.com/141773361-various-horror-stories-blowfly-girl
chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts
youtube.com/watch?v=lreh3JB1vAQ
blowflygirl.blogspot.com/2009/08/here-is-my-maggot-story.html?zx=f37378d2df3b2e5d
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

to gain the attention and ultimately the affection of Jerry.

Duh.

They both need each other

It's called "inter-dependency" and they both know it. Newman, does terrible things to Jerry. Nasty even sadistic things, but that's fine as long as that's what Jerry wants.

Think about it. His actions. He's always asking for it. it's his partner's job, to fulfill that need, and Jerry knows that.

Why did he use her face as a mask?

"Your mother says "hi" Jerome, MUAHAHAHAHA!"

Because the male never stops

"I tell ya Georgie Boy, that Newman fella did me a favor."

"Everything comes at a price, Georgie. MUAHAHAHA!"

holy fuck what is happening in this thread

...

wtf

I only know why I would kidnap Elaine.

cat thread?

"Look at him, Jerome! You did this to him!"

I-I don't like this thread

"I'm sorry, Newman! Sorry for everything I've done!"

"It's too late for apologies, Jerome. MUAHAHAHA!"

This is autism in it's truest form.

>tfw this entire thread

i saw these years ago in sc2g and they still bother me as much as they did back then

This really good at making people uncomfortable for some reason.
Maybe because this sort of thing is so foreign to seinfeld.

This is what it must have been like for people watching "silent night deadly night" for the first time.

Well done OP

I wonder if Jerry has ever seen one of these threads on accident

Let the record show: the trash has been taken out.

BAHAHAHAHA!

jesus christ this thread

Good thread op, keep it going

Why.

It's getting hot under these lights isn't it Seinfeld?
OH WAIT YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING AGAIN CAN YOU JERRY?

best thread on tv today

:golfclap:

I like these threads OP, keep em coming.

um to open doors to inter dimensional realms? Why else?

The fuck is going on in this thread

OP seems to be from an alternate reality where Newman became jigsaw

*bookmarks thread*

This is some good shit.

I'm not feeling it at all. I feel it would kinda fit as joke in the show, making Newman seem crazy.

MOAR

I once found an xvideo of some movie Elaine was in where she got nailed doggystyle. Now I can't find it anywhere.

>OP got murdered before he could post the rest

But... By who?

How can I make my own murder newman edits?

MS paint

Tim Whatley

MS Paint can only get you so far

Someone on Sup Forums has fapped to these images.

There’s a story about a "lost" episode of Seinfeld floating around the internet.

The episode was supposed to air around season six, but it was mysteriously cut. The “official” story about the episode was that it featured Elaine purchasing a firearm after being mugged, but many elements about this episode were never revealed until recently. NBC Executives refused to officially report on the episode until the Seinfeld season six DVD commentary. I have the tape but as someone who works within NBC, unfortunately I can’t reveal my sources.

I work at the GE building in Rockefeller Plaza, and I have access to their digital archives. That’s as much as I can divulge. We also have the entire original Seinfeld series in multiple formats, including original reels and VHS tapes. I noticed an episode with the production code “607” was missing from the tape set, and it was relocated in a set of old news reels. The replacement episode “The Mom and Pop Store” was filmed a season later to replace the missing episode. It is oddly titled “The Mason”.

The episode starts out as normal, with Jerry’s apartment, but the camera is much more steady. Jerry walks out as though he’s been drugged and remarks that all of his family and friends have been dying lately. His buzzer rings and it’s George. George runs up, half crying and tells Jerry he’s seen something terrible. He’s mumbling and stuttering for about five minutes until he can form a sentence. There are still pauses for humor, but there is no audience or laugh track. George informs Jerry that planes have crashed into the twin towers due to a terrorist attack on New York.

Jerry turns on the news and you can see modern footage of the 9/11 attacks, all pré-filmed several years beforehand. George says that isn't the worst part: Elaine and Kramer were in the towers at the time of the bombing. What proceeds is a graphic and explicit phone call of screaming and crying and Kramer saying that something terrible has happened, and Elaine is dead. Kramer screams there’s no air in the building, and he’s burning to death, and that he’s going to jump.

The camera cuts to live footage of a man falling from the twin towers. George genuinely looks upset and says “I’m sorry Larry, but I can’t go through with this” and he tries to walk off the set, but people stop him and push him towards the stage. He walks out Jerry’s prop window and you can hear him calling his agent. There’s a lot of mumbling, and you can see candles being lit behind the stage.

Jerry goes over to the bookcase and pulls it aside, revealing a ceremonial black table with candles, a dinner plate, and a strange box. There is a Masonic symbol against black cloth just outside where the fake stage window would be. Jerry says some weird things in a foreign dialect, and one cut of the camera shows a poster of Barack Obama (This episode originally aired in 1995). The scene ends with Jerry waking up in bed, as though it’s all a nightmare. Kramer comes in and asks if Jerry has seen a lizard. Jerry laughs and says “We are the lizards” and the camera zooms slightly. His eyes become slivered, like almonds.

The tape is only seven minutes long, and what proceeds is just twenty minutes of dead air. If you continue watching to the end, it seems there are three more news reports tacked on. The first is about an outbreak of swine flu, the second about a train bombing, and the third...

chills every time

Underrated post

The third WHAT

...

I need to know this film's title, for r-research purposes of course.

The GE employee is widely believed to have been apprehended or otherwise stopped just prior to revealing the third news event—but not before he could hit SEND

Didn't know Seinfeld had creepypasta

Neat

it was the woody allen film she did, deconstructing henry

Is there such a thing as good creepypasta? This is lame, as is every other creepypasta I've ever read.

>and the third...

Yes what tell us!

probably doesn't qualify as creepypasta but
wattpad.com/141773361-various-horror-stories-blowfly-girl

definitely not creepypasta but also great
chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts

what the fuck

this fucking thread is wonderfully disturbing in an odd funny way

youtube.com/watch?v=lreh3JB1vAQ

how many STD's must Jerry have?

what episode was this?

I can fap to this

"The faceoff"

kek

sorry that blowfly girl version is messed up
here's the good one
blowflygirl.blogspot.com/2009/08/here-is-my-maggot-story.html?zx=f37378d2df3b2e5d

good thread

>this whole thread

The ones I've enjoyed so much that I've reread were Anansi's Goatman Story and Normal Porn for Normal People. The Latter might not click with most people but I like it a lot.

>MFW this is the start of a hot new SeinMeme

...

this thread makes me really angry for some reason

these pictures shouldn't exist

what the fuck is going on here

its called autism

If Jerry pulled that off, would he die?

...

...

RIP clit dick

GIDDYUP

le EPIC new meme

...

these seems false

what the fuck

Because she needed to be made to understand. she needed to be punished by the only one who knew the truth: that the collective sins of these "friends of jerry" were so numerous and awful, only torture and execution was an acceptable response. Newman killed them all; slowly, and in fitting ways as to how they lived their lives. Kramer was killed first: beaten to a pulp and buried alive in a dumpster until he suffocated. George and Elaine were in turn stabbed for each time they had ever lied (Newman used several knives and stabbed them hundreds of times). jerry was saved for last, and after knowing how all his friends had been taken care of, Newman dressed up as superman and strangled jerry with his bare hands. Newman then reportedly brought his .357 Magnum revolver to the city post office with the intention of killing his postmaster. Arriving at the parking lot, he reportedly ran over his supervisor several times. Subsequently he went into the post office looking for his postmaster. Not finding the postmaster, he went back out to the parking lot and shot his supervisor several times at close range, ostensibly to make sure she was dead. He then reportedly fired several more bullets into the supervisor's car. its not clear what happened next

I didn't think newman was capable of such violence

>Newman dressed up as superman and strangled jerry with his bare hands.
kek

is this serial killer newman copypasta, or is all this shit new?

Is murder newman a new meme?

>new

you never watched all of the show did you?

what the fuck

fucking disturbing

Deconstructing Harry

Also this is HOF bread

pussy

bump, is there more?

...

kek, you got more?

>Jerry, I am you Father!

>this thread is still up

are you the one making these?

what do you use for editing?

NEWMAN