>Be young me
>Watch Atlantis at the theater
>Sitting down enjoying the movie
>Drunk guy starts yelling
>Continue to watch the movie
>Drunk guy knocks the fuck out of the guy sitting next to him.
>Everyone is escorted out of the theater
>Injured man is put on a stretcher and drunk guy gets arrested
>Everyone continues to watch the film and acts like nothing happened
What stories do you have anons?
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i choked on popcorn during midnight screening of King Kong.
Someone had to put their fingers in my throat to remove the kernal. I puked and everyone was refunded ticket.
are you going to see the new Kong then? you might die
>theater is showing Back to the Future
>already seen it but had nothing else to do so I went with a friend who hadn't seen the movie
>they begin to show trailers
>what looks like a trailer for Magic Mike comes on
>suddeny tits and ass on screen
>it isn't a trailer
>it's the actual movie
>they forgot to change the film from last night
>bunch of moms get upset because they brought their 8 year olds
>they go complain
>they change the film back
>on the way out everyone gets a free movie ticket
I don't even think I used the free ticket desu
>opening night of rouge one
>sneak in pizza boxes through trench coat
>proceed to eat entire pizza throughout the movie
>never went to the bathroom
>end of movie
>leave all garbage in surrounding seats
>take massive greasy pizza shit
>rub excess shit on carpet and seats
>go wash up in kino showers
>im about 10 years old
>theatre seating was not elevated so the seats were all flat on the floor
>small enough to fit under peoples chairs
>slide down my seat and under the ones infront of me
>slither underneath people and steal popcorn unnoticed
I would try to sniff girl's feet in your position
>Return of the King opening weekend
>Frodo has just escaped Shelob's lair
>We see her sneaking above him
>Some lady shouts with genuine concern "look out Frodo!"
>Everyone laughs
My one and only heckling experience.
>go to see TDKR
>orange haired guy enters, shoots up theater
THATS EDGY!
this guy started jerking off in the seat behind me when my grandmother took me to see the phantom menace
What scenes were he beating the meat to?
was Frodo okay?
Sam saved the day then went home to tap some sweet Hobbit pussy.
Female hobbits don't exist.
GET TO THE SUB PODS
You're thinking of dwarves.
> Get my girlfriend tickets to the premiere.
> Take her to a nice dinner before and talk excitedly about the upcoming flick
> arrive early and take our seats, there's electricity in the air!
> my face brightens as the "I'm a big guy for you scene happens"
> suddenly smoke starts bellowing into the theater
> gunshots too, NOLAN IS RELEASING 4D KINO
> Guy walks in and says "I'm the jokah baby" and shoots my girlfriend in the head
> I play dead and shit myself
>Watch Bateman V Superman something like the third week it's out
>as I walk out, an usher is handing everyone free movie vouchers
>"Is this our reward for sitting through that garbage?"
>"Heh, no. There were issues with the projector."
>"Oh, I thought that was part of the movie."
haha it is shit though
if i remember it was during the jar jar combat scene or around that... this was over 20 years ago.
Now I understand why Nolan didn't go with Drew Sharp's audition. It really was too real, too visceral.
Oh, just your standard sadistic robosexual then. Gets off on machines getting destroyed.
>be me, about 12 I think
>Go with my dad to see the karate kid reboot
>I know I know, but he was a struggling divorced father so I let him have it.
>Anyway
>We get to the theater
>Watching the movie, theater dead silent
>About halfway through the movie, this massive black lady wearing a scrunchie bursts through the doors
>"LEROY JOHNSON. YOU BEST GET YO ASS UP OUTTA THIS MOVIE BEFORE I SCOUR EVERY ROW."
>A lone silohuette rises in front of the screen, scampering towards the theater doors
>The entire theater starts laughing and applauding as the woman grabs Leroy Johnson by the ear and drags him out.
>Finish watching the movie, fucking hated it.
>Laughed about Leroy Johnson on the way home.
Fuck this might have been me. Did this happen in California?
Why were you watching Atlantis while shitfaced?
You must be 18 to post here
>>I know I know,
Holy shit, lurk more.
When i was 9 or so, i put some candy into my soda at the movies and it made it bubble up and overflow all over my lap and stuff. It was cold and sticky and i cried but my dad made me stay and watch the movie until the end, it was tomb raider. Heres a pic of my hairy grundle
I got head in the theater, also fingered and sucked on my gf titties. Actually did this a few times. We were 15 and couldn't fool around at our parents places plus it was the winter so it was too cold to hang out outside. She wanted to fuck in the theater but even I thought that was a bit too much.
>be young me
>watch atlantis at the theater
>guy in front unzips dick and starts masturbating furiously not giving a fuck
>everyone is cheering and clapping their heads off at this point and screaming with tears of joy and generally going insane
>everyone stands for the national anthem
>everyone got laid
>the end
The strangest movie experience I've ever had was watching the women in black. A ton of people in the theater started clapping when they do the whole fake out when you think he managed to save the kid from the train. I'd never had anyone clap in the theater before and I've not seen it since. Fucking weirdos.
>my gf
at least try to make it believable next time
I went to see Batman Forever when i was a teenager. For some reason we went to this movie cinema like a 40 minute drive away.
We got dropped off and would be picked up when the movie finished.
15 minutes into the film the projector jammed and the film burnt through. Lights went on and we were like WTF l? We got issued a refund and had to wait two and half hours in this middle of nowhere dank cineplex to picked up.
Never watched the end of Batman Forever and never will because of that day.
>Go to movies at local shitty theatre
>Sneak in
>Captain America: Civil War
>2/3 of the way through the film a fire alarm goes off.
>they say everyone will get refunded tickets
>they hand them out
>Keep lining up even though qt usher girl definitely knows I lined up more than once
>get 4 free movie tickets
>MFW I didn't pay for the movie originally
The one time I took a girl to the movies I leaned over in my seat to try to quietly let a fart out and just made it loud and squeeky, it smelled awful too like exactly like the panda express food we ate right before. I tried to play it off but she just said Coooool sarcastically at me. I actually did end up having sex with her and the first time she got her period all over my penis. She was hot but what a terrible relationship.
My friends and I would sneak bowl hits at the very back of the theater. Once a black dude yelled out during the movie 'who got dat weed?' and me and friends could not stop laughing. Kinda surprised we never got caught or kicked out.
>8th grade
>principal is a huge geek
>so the school rents out a nearby theater, so we can watch the movie all together
>so much hormones in one room
>Legolas appeares
>all the girls squeak in a unhuman pitch
>Gandalf appears
>all males mentally connected decided to squeak like the girls
>every one is dying of laughter
>except the principle is mad and storming out theater
Men are one hivemind I swear.
I almost got arrested during Jurassic World because some 20 year old saw me packing a dip before it started and told security on me. I asked him what his issue was and he said "it's gross" I called him a faggot and I could hear his cow of a date chewing on popcorn from 3 rows away he called the cops but was able to talk my way out of it and see the movie.
Yeah movie dates are the shit when you're younger, its dark as hell and loud so theres no pressure to talk. And as corny and cliche as it is, the arm around the shoulder thing works well.
None of mine have ever really been that bad.
Jurassic World
> Huge Jurassic Park fan, it's one of my favorite movies of all time.
> Unbelievably hyped for the sequel
> packed theater and I get put into a shitty broken seat
> I'm like doubled over in the seat, my knees almost to my chin
> Half way through i get a horrible stomach cramp
> So bad that it's like almost scream worthy
> Fidgeting in my seat trying to keep control
> end up having to stand in the back of the theater clutching my stomach to try to finish watching the movie
> usher starts staring at me like i'm a mass shooter.
Jurassic Park in 3D
> first time I'd been able to see the original in theaters
> in the middle of a literal psychotic break
> havent slept in 3 days
> fall asleep in the theater sometime after the rex chasing the jeep scene
> usher wakes me up
Diary of a wimpy kid 2
> a girl propped up her foot beside my head
> I sniffed it repeatedly and got a boner
> i desperately wanted to lick it
> went home and had a massive fap
Captain America: Civil War
> stole the disabled seat because it's really comfy
> fat guy who is too big for regular seats glared at me through the entire movie as i was manspreading
LEL it's so 8th grade of girls to think orlando bloom is hot. like he is hot, but as legolas? its just gay of them. fucking roasties, even then
this story just proves for the trillionth time that men as a gender are way way funnier too. like instinctually all men realized girls were stupid af and needed to mock them. great
where do you live? i live in MA and i think id get in trouble for that shit lol. no smoke alarms? if you got a bowl really going it would REEK
>over 20 years ago
it hasn't even been out for 20 years
>Go see some horror movie years ago with a friend at midnight
>Theater is empty except some black woman up front
>she stars yelling
>"NAW DONT GO IN THERE"
>"WHY YOU DO THAT"
>I yell back "TELL HER"
>"YEAH SEE THIS BOI GETS IT"
>"YEAH I GET IT"
>later, a person dies from being decapitated, the woman screams.
>"OOOOH DAYUM"
>I yell back
>"DO YOU THINK SHE'S DEAD?"
>"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GON LIVE WITH NO HEAD?"
>"I DONT KNOW MAYBE AN AMBULANCE WILL COME"
>"THEY IN THE FUCKIN WOODS"
What kind of dip? Ketchup or BBQ? Why are you so gross?
>Watching "The Day After Tomorrow".
>It's a hot day.
>Someone yells "Turn up the air conditioner".
>Out of nowhere, some other guy yells "This is life in the real word, you fucking rich boy" or something. Dude sounded pissed.
>Two guys, sitting on opposite ends of the movie theater, get into a shouting match over social classes in the middle of a disaster movie.
>"Fuck you, motherfucker, it's hot as fuck!"
>"That's how it is in the hood!"
>End after at about 5 minutes of argument.
>Later in the movie.
>New Ice Age, everything is getting frozen.
>"Cold enough for you, rich boy?"
>"Motherfucker, I'll beat you".
>Another shouting match, schedule fight for once movie is over.
>Movie is over.
>Both guys bail.
sorry, i have no concept of time, 18 years*.
>> a girl propped up her foot beside my head
>> I sniffed it repeatedly and got a boner
>> i desperately wanted to lick it
>> went home and had a massive fap
expans on this story please, here are some questions to help you out: did she take her shoes off? was she wearing socks? was the smell intense? did she not notice you or was it intentional? how close was it? I mean did you have to lean so there was a rish of her noticing? how did she look like, age, hair colour? remember who was she with? etc
If I were guaranteed to have this happen every time I went to see a horror flick in theatres, I'd actually enjoy horror movies.
...
...
What? I've never had anyone care about dip in a theater before. I don't even think it's against the rules. Sometimes I even asked for a water cup and filled it with napkins in front of employee's when I didn't have a bottle. What a colossal faggot. I'm genuinely pissed off by this post.
Yeah I was like 6 seats away from him in another row. I was so fucking livid and not that I was going to do anything because I'm too old to start an actual fist fight over something like it but I found it funny the kid and his date practically ran out of the theater before the movie was even over.
...
Captain America - The Winter Soldier:
During Fury's death scene, someone opens a giant bag of Skittles, it sounded like one of those 2-pound Costco bags when it ripped open and dumped Skittles all over the floor. Best part was that they kept rolling down toward the front of the theater for at least 30 seconds. Wrecked the whole mood.
About 15 years ago, someone started shooting off fireworks inside the theater. Like no shit bottle rockets screaming through the room.
Another time, completely full theater, group couldn't even sit with each other. About 45 minutes into the movie, we hear someone loudly puking their guts out onto the floor. Turns out it was some drunken dumbass we brought.
Fucking nu-males man.
Oh and during the opening night of Indiana Jones 4 there was this little incident:
>everyone exited as fuck
>trailers are finally over
>the atmosphere is tense as fuck
>suddenly the lights go on
>everyone is confused as fuck
>a female employee comes out with a basket and asks if someone wants some last minute ice cream
>are you fucking kidding me bitch?
>some guy clearly drunk guy screams from his seat:"We don't want your ice cream! WE WANT INDY!"
>and the whole theater starts singing with him: youtu.be
That's what you get for putting literal shit in your mouth I swear sometimes Americans are so retarded
One time I was watching Space Jam with my dad when someone lit a couple of smoke bombs in the theatre and we ended up getting evacuated and got free tickets. Ended up seeing the movie the next week and it was great.
Another time I was 14 and my parents dropped me off at the theatre while my parents went out to dinner. I ended up meeting a guy probably in his early twenties in the arcade and sitting next to him to watch a movie (forgot which one, something stupid). There was no one sitting around us and he ended up giving me head and I came in his mouth. First and only time ever did anything gay.
>and then I space jammed in his mouth
>stole the disabled seat because it's really comfy
Kek
...
>Naruto the Last
>Movie is coming to a close
>They kiss in front of the moon and it fades out
>Black guy shouts "DEN HE HIT HER WITH DAT SHADOWCLONE GANGBANG"
>Everyone bursts out laughing
Try putting a tooth brush in your mouth yuro
>waiting to watch some movie i forget which, dr strange i think with my boomer dad
>dad playing angry birds on his phone because hes reddit: the boomer
>landwhale white trash lady and her wheezing husband tell him to get off his phone repeadly although the movie hasnt started
>dadmin spills spaghetti
>be 16 year old me
>11" penis
>see the bone collector at work friend's nearest theater
>more than halfway through the movie the film catches fire
>sit there with no idea what to do
>5 minutes later manager wakes up and light come on and they announce no other copies of film are in the theater
>get free ticket to go back to see another movie
>go back less than a year later
>theater is now IHOP
>didn't understand movie anyway
>fuck brick twp
MFW
>watching the second part of The Hobbit with my dad and grandpa
>scene of the River Town with a bunch of jigaboos and asians
>grandpa goes "WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK?!"
>theater bursts out laughing
kek
what movie
I get shit faced before every movie
Also, checked
>just graduated HS
>starting to smoke weed pretty regularly
>hit the bong, go to watch transformers
>end up with an rapist looking mother fucker sitting next to me
>pretty normal until the movie starts
>notice he's shaking violently, gripping the arm rests
>mumbling under his breath angrily
>wtf, am i tripping ou--
>"fucking jews. fucking jews, right? I know a kike when I see one" (referring to Shiah Lebouf I guess)
>just stare at the screen
>"I'm going to burn this fucker down, kikes and kids alike. Fuck everyone, fuck the world."
>these murmurs continue through the whole movie, but too spooked to get up and leave, too paranoid
>tell friend after the movie what happened, he says he heard it too but was too scared to say anything
He was right about Shiah tho.
You're thinking of ents
That was me sitting behind you, I still remember you and your faggy friend.
>College years
>300 is in theathers
>One friends keeps going on and on how accurate the movie was (he hadn't seen it by that point) and we should all see it
>I was a Sup Forumstard at that point so I was already laughing by this statement, also I've read the comics so I knew what I was in for
>Drinking and smoking decide to go to cinema to a late showing
>Drink and smoke some more, actually brought beers with us to the cinema
>There's maybe 15 other people watching this
>As soon as it the movie start I start making fun of my friend for the accurate Spartan's british accent
>The other people realize we're drunk but instead of getting mad start to laugh and make fun of the movie for being homoerotic
>When the hot fortune teller is on screen one man turns to his wife and goes "I'm fucking the shit out of you tonight thinking of that"
>Scream like idiots at "This is Sparta"
>I made a beer run during the movie and got even higher
>Continue to laugh and joke with the whole room
>Movie ends
>Everything went better than expected.tiff
well apart from the fantasy imagery the events of the movie are relatively accurate to the events of the battle. except in the movie they are betrayed by a cripple in the RL they are betrayed by a Jew
>"I'm fucking the shit out of you tonight thinking of that"
alpha as fuck
Bro this was my go to as a sophomore/junior. Usually just hang out and finger whichever girl, I only got head in a theater a couple times since it's more risky. Those were the days.
Entwives existed but they all disappeared a long time ago. Probably dead
Things like this, if they only happen very rarely, are quite hilarious
I chuckled
...
My god this is an old one
watching some yarkle puke his guts out was probably moar entertaining than that boring ass monkey shit
> A little backstory: On the 4th of July a few years ago, the local fireworks show had a disastrous misfire and ended up injuring a bunch of people
>Local second run theater has a neat thing where they show a retro movie on the big screen once a month
>Terminator 2 was the movie of choice this month; it was screened just a day after the big firework accident
>Movie starts; starts with the slow pan up from the thousands of human skulls littering the ground from the nuclear war
>Guy who is drunk as fuck at the back of the theater yells, "MEANWHILE AT THE FIREWORKS SHOW..."
>Everyone in the audience cringes and moans out loud
>Guy responds, "FUCK YOU, NO ONE DIED, IT'S FUNNY!"
>Everyone laughs
Thankfully he shut up after that.
I understood non of this. Work on your story telling skills
Why was there a fireworks show in July?
The 4th of July is a big holiday in America which usually includes a fireworks display.
Living proof dcucks will never not get btfo
didn't know india was big on starwars
unoriginal
not the same guy but 413 here bruh
nigga just stop
>Patriots Day movie
>some reason it doesn't premiere on patriots day
>grow up in mass
>see with brother
>weed now legal
>get stupid high beforehand
>it's one of those restaurant theaters
>stupid expensive cocktails
>high enough to buy
>finish drink before trailers end
>full effect takes place right before bombs go off
>HOLY SHIT WE WERE SCREAMING
>take gf to wolf of wallstreet
>she thought it was too long and had no plot
>i nolonger have a girlfriend
Not crazy but funny
>seeing Moonlight with a friend
>only 3 other people in the theater
>2 hipsters and a normal looking black guy
>movies sucks
>as credits are rolling the black guy stands up and loudly says, NIGGA THATS GAY then leaves
>his outburst was better than the movie
Gratzi
>Another time I was 14 and my parents dropped me off at the theatre while my parents went out to dinner. I ended up meeting a guy probably in his early twenties in the arcade and sitting next to him to watch a movie (forgot which one, something stupid). There was no one sitting around us and he ended up giving me head and I came in his mouth. First and only time ever did anything gay.
Sounds hot tbqh
>get home from an Afghanistan deployment
>buddy of mine is having a hard time getting back into public
>asks if I'll go with him to see jackass 3D
>he picks me up
>he hands me a small bottle of rum
>chug it and he chugs his
>go to bar and get a few shots each
>walk to liquor store and buy a big bottle of sailor jerry
>smuggle it into the theater
>mix it in with our sodas
>like half bottle in each cup
>black out drunk by the time it hits the 10 min mark
>pull out dick (sitting in last row in the back)
>take a piss secretly
That was the last thing I remember. I had a hangover for a few days.
oldfag reporting in
>getting ready to watch some film with friend.
>a little early so decide to play SF2 Champion
Edition to pass the time
>Shwoog puts quarter on the machine
>"AY MAN! SHOW ME HOW TA THROW DA MAGIC!"
>explain to this shine how to do a sonic boom with Guile
>finally take seats in theater, previews begin
>indubitably another spook starts the rolling commentary
>I forget what the movie was now but he shouts "Dass jus Pocahontas. Dass all dat is, dey jus do it again!
>go to see Split
>realize halfway through the movie that I forgot my cinema shower pass
>realize what that means
>as most moviegoers exit during the credits, I remain in my seat like the other people without passes
>once they all exit I strip naked in the theater with the other peasants
>line up with the other pass-less theater patrons in front of the screen
>woman loudly crying holding her infant child tightly, she knows what is about to go down
>the spotlights from the cinema watchtowers shines upon us
>the cinema warden enters and orders the guards to hose us down
>brace myself as i am hosed down by the powerful hose the guards use to hose down the screen after each screening
>several of us go toppling down, our naked bodies sliding about the floor from the pressure of the hose
>as the screams grow louder the hoses' pressure only increases
>after 15 minutes things finally end
>we struggle to our feet, bruised and bloody, stumbling
>getting dressed afterwards
>find my shower pass in my jacket pocket I was wearing all along
Amateur mistake on my part
was it JC's Avatar?
>in the cinema showers, left my prized anvil in the changing room (I know, rookie mistake)
>when I got out it was gone
>I have too many as it is, but this was my prized anvil
>go to the cinema buffet to grab some food to cheer up
>as I was smashing the lobsters on my spare anvil, I hear someone smash down the door
>its the cinema shooter
>he starts shooting up the place
>I almost died, but my cinema falcon swooped in the way and took the bullet for me
>tfw I lost my cinema falcon and my prized anvil in one day>in the cinema showers, left my prized anvil in the changing room (I know, rookie mistake)
>when I got out it was gone
>I have too many as it is, but this was my prized anvil
>go to the cinema buffet to grab some food to cheer up
>as I was smashing the lobsters on my spare anvil, I hear someone smash down the door
>its the cinema shooter
>he starts shooting up the place
>I almost died, but my cinema falcon swooped in the way and took the bullet for me
>tfw I lost my cinema falcon and my prized anvil in one day
>girlfriend wants to go see Maze Runner 2: The Scorch Trials
>the cinema i have a premium subscription at isn't showing the movie though
>have to go to the other one i don't have a subscription at
>get to cinema
>Massive line for non-subscription patrons
>after waiting 15 minutes in line to buy a ticket, the bouncer starts giving me shit about the dress code
>have to wear one of the rental blazers, they charge me $10 an hour
>you can see falcon shit stains on the shoulder and there is popcorn butter all over the cuffs
>Put on the blazer and get past the biometric body scanners
>Finally get to see Maze Runner 2: The Scorch trials
>Can't stop laughing at Aiden Gillian's scenes and my gf has no clue why
i went to see godzilla 2000, the movie lost sound 15 minutes in then they began playing stock music through the speakers, after 30 min they fixed it and played the movie from the start.