>Wears a Sailor Moon shirt >Defends The Matrix Reloaded by saying "people were expecting perfection!!!1" >Says Zion was actually cool (the main criticism of these shitty films in the first place)
This is a guy who wrote a book that literally just has the names of movies he likes to watch, and also cried on camera when people called him out about his lame BvS re-write. What do you expect from someone like that?
Colton Watson
What's funny about the book is it's literally a list of films everyone should see before they die, but it's just a list of common films literally every man and his dog has seen at some stage, whether they are avid movie goers or not
Liam Hill
>Cuckmann turned his hobby into something viable >you can't watch movies without your dad coming in your room asking when his 25 year old son is going to move out and get a job
stay salty
Luke Green
I dreamt of Chris last night Yes, it finally happened, I had the Stuckmann-dream I'm now fully Stuckmannized Like a spider inside my dream he came into my room and pinned me down with his strong arms I tried to fight him but he came inside me He filled me up and I became the Stuckmann It's just two men sharing the night It might seem wrong but it's just right It's just two men sharing each other It's just two men like loving brothers One on top and one on bottom One inside and one is out One is screaming he's so happy The other's screaming a passionate shout
Ryan Brooks
Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. I used to be a really big fan and got to talking to him on Twitter. He even invited me over to his a couple of times XD!! On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outift in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up, I wiggled out from underneath him and ran crying from his house. He screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so I told him I thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and asked, "But am i a Big Guy for you?”. He motioned towards his dick, which he constantly referred to as “Zod’s snapped neck”, and told me to tell it to Zod’s snapped neck. I told his penis that he was a big guy for me, and he flipped me over and started taking me from behind, constantly moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.
Camden Reyes
w-woah man, that's a bit much
Sebastian Robinson
>Jizz Suckmenn dude I'm fucking dying lmao
Wyatt Brown
Chris Succman
Eli King
Heres the list of his film buffs bucket list. And yes. Its as pathetic as we all knew it would be
So I hate Chris but your criticisms are fucking stupid >Wears a Sailor Moon shirt Yes? So what? It was immensely popular...when he was growing up. Who gives a fuck what he wears. >Defends The Matrix Reloaded by saying "people were expecting perfection!!!" Which is true, the bar was set too high by the first one and Reloaded is bad sure, but it isn't that horrible. >Says Zion was actually cool (the main criticism of these shitty films in the first place) Zion functioned in context of the story and was depicted fine, unless you are a nitpicking autist.
There are plenty of valid criticisms for Chris and how he measures quality but somehow you managed to miss the mark completely. I am convinced you are an underage.
Also, am I the only one massively put off by his teeth? Fuck man, brush them once a year
Anthony Brown
>The Force Awakens 1#
Oliver Rivera
This is my favorite pic ever, that juxtaposition
Grayson Parker
>ion functioned in context of the story and was depicted fine, unless you are a nitpicking autist. Too much black people, too much tribe dancing.
Noah Edwards
I feel like people are collectively trying to make me ashamed of liking Zodiac by putting it in every fucking "Top XX before you die xD."
Leo Barnes
They took you, Stuckmann And you don't belong to them They left me in a world of darkness Without your sexy hands And I miss you, Stuckmann I think I love you You make me wanna cry You make me wanna die I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you Stuckmann
Christian Bailey
These Stuckman threads are getting out of hand
Brody King
i fucking hate stuckmann and here's why (please feel free to copy past this for later use)
writes a book about the best movies of 00s. >it's filled with cliches that everyones grandmother has seen . eg the dark knight >every description is basically a 400 worded "this movie is about X. It's good."
rewrites B v S (twitter.com/chris_stuckmann/status/721417846610198528) >it's horrible and he clearly spent a lot of time on it >goes out and tweet this video twitter.com/chris_stuckmann/status/721835805300416512 >(clearly butthurt) >then makes a fucking 20 minute long video respons were he's fucking CRYING, literally CRYING because people were mean to him and his family online. He also calims that he has written a scrip previously that tons of "Hollywood people" and producers, directors etc has looked at and loved >says he only spent 20 minutes on the scrip (apparently he spent longer time on the video then .lol) >youtube.com/watch?v=8qse8LJmPV8
RLM mentions him in one of their videos, it's a harmless 5 second joke >Stuckmann removes them from his channel recommendations in a fit of rage and (surprise, surprise) makes another video where he's crying >youtube.com/watch?v=2qpT7bWSgwg
beef with fury of the film >fury of the film was a very early youtube critics who helped stuckmann get were he is today >you can read about the beef here. whathappenedtofuryofthefilmfan.blogspot.no/ >skip to The Chris Stuckmann Visit if you dont wanna read all of it >"He's the type of guy to make everyone miserable and then apologize for it and play the victim. I can't stand that type of person."
there you go.
Daniel Ward
Fuck you Noe, you haven't made a good film since Irreversible. Get your head out your ass
Owen Bennett
If he pays the bills with all this and makes money, why do any of you care?
Asher Long
That's exactly why
Jeremiah Howard
>getting this mad over some literal who, that makes youtube videos about flicks This site truly is an autistic place
Caleb Ross
Again, do you see how fucking stupid that complaint is? Do you have very limited self-awareness or something?
John Ward
No no, I don't get triggered by him, I'm just saying that's why these people are annoyed.
Nathaniel Reyes
>HOW DARE HE MAKE MONEY OFF OF DOING THING WTF I HATE STUCKSMAN NOAW HE IS LITERALLY THE WORST REEEE
Carson Myers
user, are you huffing spray paint again?
Jaxson Powell
Again for a third time, it is a very autistic thing to get annoyed over.
Nathaniel Long
Fucker found a niche and people pay him for it. May as well complain that water is wet
Jayden Taylor
Well that is something i've been meaning to bring up for a while i mean the absolute state, well in fact the liquid state of water... It's a fucking joke and not the kind of thing our administration should be supporting at all.
Ian Green
...
Parker Sanders
The dancing scene was great, it's the council shit that turned it into a Star Wars prequel.
i actually feel bad for liking some of those movies now
Grayson Fisher
>name a bigger fag than chris (gets)cuckedmann You for example, why dont you just ignore him? Or do you genuinely get offended by some random persons opinion to the extent that you need to have your "superior" opinion reinforced by random nobodies in anonymous online imageboard?
How pathetic are your opinions then if they are so weak that you feel bad for having them?
Gavin Anderson
What shitty logic is that? You cant complain about how some retard does simething because it makes him money?
Aiden Bailey
Did he break the law? Did he steal money from you? It's always been an autistic complaint. People willingly give him money, so you are complaining essentially that he lives off of a thing he turned into a job. It's juvenile. Not everyone wants to be a wagecuck, bud. It seems like most of you target the fact that he makes a living off it this.
Ryder Barnes
t. Chris Stuckman
Benjamin Parker
Right, you caught me. I better make ten more threads about him. Just to show how little I care
Camden Martin
Wtf is there no porn scenes? Dropped
Hunter Sanders
>hating on based sailor jupiter fuck you op, id choose jizz suckmenn over you
Landon Nelson
His BvS script might be the funniest thing I've ever read in my life. The fact that he thought acknowledging how stupid Clark Kent's glasses hiding his identity is and having Batman refer to himself as "the world's greatest detective" absolutely slays me.
Bentley Mitchell
Chris lived with his parents until like 2 years ago
Jayden Ortiz
So like most of this board?
Ryder James
Sad thing is 1001 movies you see b4 you die included TFA.... as well as Guardians of the Galaxy.....
*vomits*
Jackson Morgan
I'm in love with his wife. I want to cuddle her while we watch anime. Yes boys, I want to cuck the Stuck.
Leo Green
Sailor Moon is boss
I bet you're a Sup Forumssmoker who just got triggered by his opinion
Alexander Rogers
They update it every year and then throw them away for other recent blockbusters. I assume this year they'll probably throw those away and add La La Land and Moonlight.
Blake Cox
>Sailor Moon why is tumblr obsessed with it?
Adam Rogers
>Stuckman cries over RLM joke
Wait... when the fuck did this happen?
Jace Jackson
Because they are fun and entertaining movies. You faggots still in denial that TFA is good?
Ryder Watson
In their Ghostbusters re:view at the very beginning. It's the most harmless joke you'll ever see, but Chris was emotionally destroyed.
Logan Turner
Never, he never actually cried. This site is just autistic as usual and thinks everything is "LE OH BOY HOW WILL HE EVER RECOVER??"
Like that Jay, RLM tweet a few months ago.
Gavin Howard
His eyes looked pretty puffy to me senpai.
Zachary Kelly
.... it isn't though.
I will grant you that Guardians is good, but hardly worthy of a 'must see' before you die.
TFA is shit though. Absolute fucking shit.
Anthony Foster
>things I want to be true
Carson Morgan
He looked like he had been sobbing.
Andrew Carter
>TFA is shit though. Absolute fucking shit. It literally isn't though, fucking Christ how long you aspies going to keep PMSing over this pretty alright movie? Just kill yourselves already.
Adrian Morris
No, he didn't. Fuck off. It's all dumb bullshit Enquirer nonsense
Samuel Thomas
>I-it was just a joke, r-right guys?
Logan Gonzalez
>OH WOAHHH MATE, HIS EYES ARE SLIGHTLY BLOODSHOT TEEHEE I BET HE WAS SOBBINGGGG HOW WILL HE EVER RECOVER? STUCKMANSS ON SUICIDE WATCH!!
Chase Sullivan
t.stuckman
Benjamin Gray
> I DONATED MONEY TO THEM AND THIS IS HOW THEY TREAT ME
Ethan Cook
>You want to kill RLM. I want to kill RLM. Let's make them pay for what they've done.
Kevin Reed
I do wonder though -- you think its possible certain film companies have bribed YT critics like Chris in the past?