This movie is terrible bland schlock. Why was it not panned on release?

This movie is terrible bland schlock. Why was it not panned on release?

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Cause of nostalgia shitters

because MOMMY

Because critics are retarded. It was the most drab, nonsensical and forgettable movie i've seen that year

Don't give a single fuck i cried.
REXY IS MY WAIFU

It was good

FUCK YOU

...

Because it was passable, aka safe, which is the only thing critics and mainstream audiences care about.

Also

also see: The Force Awakens

god this looks terrible

What the hell where they doing with the colour grading?

it's the standard teal and orange

Actually literally non-metaphorically looks like a video game. This whole flick was fucking septic.

Because it's a good flick.

Sorry you're a faggot. Actually, I'm not. Kill yourself.

>Why was it not panned on release?

Because it was good

I'm worried about what they're going to do with the sequel, as the whole time I never really felt like there was anything at risk especially when all the tourists were safely huddled into the shelter.

What was the non-sequitur bit with the older kid and his girlfriend? Not even Transformers movies are that messy with their plots.

Don't forget the main problem the kids have with their parents getting divorced that's never resolved in the end.

it's anything but bland and forgettable

It's the dumbest movie I've seen, and the dumbness has forever seared onto my brain

I liked it! Good flick and entertaining!

Five bags of popcorn!

They wanted to make as bland and dull as possible, just like the movie

Reddit is down the hall and to the left, faggot

mmmmmmmm

It was a piece of shit, I thought it was panned though. I mean it's one thing to give Marlel a pass but this was offensively bad

I already called you a faggot. You can't call me a faggot, cumsucker.

MOMMY NO DON'T GO OUT THERE MOMMY IT'S SCARY

Sup Forums: where the closer to gay porn you sound, the better your insults are considered

It's comfortable for people to watch ilms they're familiar with. This definitely felt like a remake to me, I wasn't into it but it was an ok film. Just not original.

You literally have to go back

Because patricians like you waited to see it out of theatres

Jurassic World is actually pretty fucking decent.

I've seen a lot of people bash it because the characters weren't very good. But, let's be honest, the characters in the older movies aren't exactly amazing either. The real main character of this series has always been the park itself. It's science fiction, horror, fantasy, survival all rolled into one. The idea of an huge, abandoned, abomination filled safari park run by insane scientists is a great setting. Jurassic World transformed the setting into a more contemporary, up-and-running theme-park style location, and that was a really cool direction to put it in. Not a perfect film, but very ambitious and engaging on a spectacle level.

I couldn't get behind any of the characters in JW. Not one of them felt right.
And the fact that everything is fucking blue which makes the CGI look even more fake, what the fuck were they thinking?

I saw this movie again on HBO a few weeks ago. Honestly, it's fucking awful. When I saw it in theaters I thought it was "just okay," but on second viewing, it's not even that.

All of the characters are unlikable except the little kid. Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt should've been perfect leads for this film, but it was like the director was deliberately downplaying their natural charm. Pratt seemed like a smug, arrogant prat, BDH seemed like a smug, arrogant bitch.

The tone is all over the place. The plot is nonsensical and stupid, even worse the half-assed attempt at "commentary" with the ridiculous subplot about weaponized military dinosaurs.

And there's honestly just no excuse for the poor quality of the special effects. The original was made in 1993 for $63 million, and the special effects are MUCH more believable, realistic, and effectively staged than a $150 million film in 2015. That's a fuckup, plain and simple.

It was even worse than The Force Awakens.

>dude just wanna watch some sweet dino action dude

Go watch an Asylum monster movie

It wasn't worse than TFA, faggot

Schlock does not mean what you think it means.

That's always been the case everywhere in life. There is nothing lower than sucking a dirty dick or fucking a shit ass.

TFA was just as bad from a writing/storytelling point of view, but at least the effects were competent, and it didn't make me hate the cast. It wasn't a good movie, but it was a completely neutral experience. Jurassic World genuinely pissed me off

"effects were competent"
Good for you if you like to be fucked in the ass as long it's pretty

I mean come on TFA was a complete rehash of a New Hope, JW was more enjoyable than this shit

>Raptors scenes
>Dat Claire milf
>Pratt's character is easily in the top 5 Jurassic Park characters, under Roland Tembo and Muldoon
>That T-rex vs Indominus scene
>Fucking Mosasaurus
>Actually introducing new plots points like hybrids, a functional park etc...
>Was miles above JP ///, and it still had Grant in it

>Pratt's character is easily in the top 5 Jurassic Park characters
Maybe in Bizarro Park but not really
He was Chris Pratt without the humor, just shitty lines and of course he has to be a Navy SEAL, he has big arms
He couldn't be a professional animal handler and/or an animal behavior expert, perhaps the best in his field and headhunted to work in the park. No, he has to be another clichéd military man because reasons
Meanwhile Doctors Alan Grant and Ellie Sattler were proven and relevant experts, and also well-written

I like the way Pratt goes from almost getting his face eaten off to dude I'm alpha-raptor. That was a truly elegant character arc right there

>>Raptors scenes

le epik raptor n human teamup!!!

le epiker trex n raptor teamups!!!

WOW MUCH BETTER THAN CAPESHIT

>those "qualities"

God you have shit taste. Kindly stay in the Star Wars threads.

"he has big arms"

You must be a fucking neckbeard brony faggot if you're triggered by that shit

Sure, Rey knowing the Falcon better than Han Solo and kicking Kylo Ren who had proper jedi training is much more developped

I spik lik this to mak a point lul

I'm bashing TFA and you're telling me to stay in SW threads? You're a fucking retard don't you?

>You must be a fucking neckbeard brony faggot if you're triggered by that shit
>missing the point

>Sure, Rey knowing the Falcon better than Han Solo and kicking Kylo Ren who had proper jedi training is much more developped

Yes because it's within the magical realm and she's established as a ship scavenger. Chris Pratt having anthropomorphic bro moments with the raptors though is just pure schlock

muh nostalgia.

TLW is a better movie, fight me.

What did she mean by this?

youtube.com/watch?v=grCRBa0n72c

How the fuck did RLM like this movie? It was one of the worst cinematic experiences for me. Not fun

You are correct

>Le cliché military man
What a huge point, oh my god

So because she's a fucking scavenger she can beat Kylo Ren?

I agree to that

that looks like a still from an MST3K tier movie

No, she beat Kylo Ren by learning the force when he tried to rape her head. She beat him cos he's a scared little boy who hated daddy. Jesus do you even go on tumblr??

I remember hearing good things about JW and then being shocked at how bad it was. It didn't even look good. I can't believe a sizeable portion of people thought this was better then fury road.

Because 2 and 3 wee just THAT much worse.

Fury Road was better of course

But Jurassic World was a good sequel and some fresh air after all capeshit movies

However I'm not convinced that they'll do good sequels with all I'm reading on JW2

Not that user but you've got to admit that Asylum kinos are pretty fun.

Basically all this.

You posted a prequel pic, you critique tfa for being too much like the first flick and you evidently by defending this train wreck have abhorrent taste in movies. Don't try to deny it, you participate in Star Wars threads.

TLW was good though

gif

Because of course it isn't a movie to begin with it's a quality flick. It's a good flick not a movie