"Yes hello? It's Lionel "Leo" Messi here... yes, I'd like one Balloon de Oro...

"Yes hello? It's Lionel "Leo" Messi here... yes, I'd like one Balloon de Oro, one Liga "Champions" and one Copa del Mundo por favor. No, you can keep your "Higuain". Gracias."

hilarious

>Leo
it's Lio

>I'm sorry we're all out of Mundos, would you like one Copa del Rey instead? It's fresh.

don't be cocky lio

>Liga "Champions"
Not happening, it's 13th decima time.

>Ballon D'or
Cristiano blocks his path

>Copa del Mundo
Perú WILL win

>Lio
It's Leo

>"Yes, hello? This is Lionel Messi here... yes, I'd like one large cheese pizza and a bottle of Sprite por favor. Gracias."

>It's Lionel "Leo" Messi
Do non-spics never use the original nicknames for spic players?

Wait do you even have nicknames for your own players?

South american """"""""""humour""""""""" everybody

>still seething after not qualifying.

>And one Sprite.

it will everntually become Lee Ho

I just tell him to not be cocky >:(

>wrong number negro, TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

el germANO senioress jasjajajajajaja

>le cant score against Tottenshit at home without refball
t-tsu?

He's one of the few people who want Higuaín back in the NT

No, it's Leo

>playing with Dario Benememetto a liga mx meme
I dont blame him tbf.

what about the pizza de queso and sprite

>a liga mx meme
He plays in the Argentine league for the current champions and now league leaders and has a goal/game ratio of almost 1, there is no way he won't get called for the NT

The starter #9 in Sampaoli's team is Agüero tho, if he wasn't injured he would have played against Perú and Ecuador

>has a goal/game ratio of almost 1
The absolute state of the liga argentino

He's the replacement of Tévez, who left Juventus right after playing a CL final and winning the league and in the Argentine league couldn't do shit

>Tevez
>after United
Cmon, Paulo Tevez stopped giving two shits after the 2015 season and only wanted an easy pay check while chilling with his family. Benememetto wasnt even that good for our league, in fact he came out and said he wouldnt mind playing for Mexico 2 years ago when he was with Amierdica

>an easy pay check
So he moved to the Argentine league? kek

He left Europe right after playing a CL final, he came to Argentina because he's a Boca fan and he said he wanted to come while he's still at his peak, and he did. The problem was that since he was th best player in the Argentine league, he got 2 or 3 men on him and didn't let him play like he could play in Europe

Something similar happens to Messi, in Europe he can play but when playing the South American qualies opponents cover him with 2 or 3 players

>dude south american murderball means our league is good
You poor poor fool.

Didn't say it's good, just saying it isn't easy to score here

Hattricks are really rare and you almost never see games with +3 goals difference, the fact that Benedetto scores on average 1 goal per game (and not the 3rd goal of an already blowout, he mostly score the first goal of the game) isn't a small deal

Believe it or not, Sampaoli knows more about football than some Amerifat on a singaporean cartoons forum, he called Benedetto for a reason, if you don't get it try watching him play before talking shit about him

>SAMPAOLI CONCHA DE TU MADRE LLAMA A LOS BOLUDOS CON CORAZON

you have to go back

Everyone knows he only comes alive in the KO stages for the big games.

I just realized Lio was also argie slang for mess.

means problem or fuss in Mexico

>He plays in the Argentine league for the current champions and now league leaders and has a goal/game ratio of almost 1

> literally 18 months without international competition
> just played 5 national cup matches in the last two years
> in a single round league

Boca has to be the wealthiest elite team with the less amount of matches.

i am going to eat you alive, you little shit

>I just realized Lio was also argie slang for mess.
Are you unironically reatarded or just an immigrant?

I mean I know the wordplay in spanish "Lio esta haciendo lio" but it never crossed my mind that it also sounded like his surname in english

Benedetto isn't a bad striker, I think he scored a hat-trick when in his first appearance in the Liga MX, of course most people would want good results from him in the CONMEBOL qualifiers given Argentina was out before the last match day, a lot of good Argentinian players have been sacked forever from their NT after a couple first mediocre matches.

>one Copa del Mundo

Never ever.

CHILENO ENVIDIOSO REEEE

Ai
Allo Messi ?

Cristiano here
you will pay now or later?

*no signal*

TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

kek

This.

He probably has his own Sprite fountain and dedicated cheese pizza chef living in his house on call 24 hours a day.

Lionel Messi is driving through Barcelona and the police stop him

>Police: May I see your driving licence?
>Messi: Driving licence? What is that ?
>Police: The thing with your face in it
>Messi: Alright
>Messi reaches in his handbag and hands over his makeup mirror to the police
>Police is looking into the mirror
>Police: Sorry we didn't know you were a police man as well. Drive on!

Antonella to Messi while fucking
>Say dirty things to me
Messi:
Bath, kitchen, living room

wow, all the jokes in this thread are so shit