Kermode pre 2014

>Kermode pre 2014
>reviews a movie in 2 minutes perfectly, provides insight, slows incredible film knowledge

>Kermode post 2014
>well this movie is about an oppressed female so I'll have to give it movie of the year

what went wrong?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=mfgCZ9lgQ3I
youtube.com/watch?v=RvAUN6QPyco
youtu.be/uHeQeHstrsc?t=7m4s
youtube.com/watch?v=GcHvRhq36hw
youtube.com/watch?v=58FU_yQYqhc
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

i completely agree

he often gets to the end of a review now without giving any conclusion as to whether it was good or not at all, he just says "it's clearly borrowing from ________" and goes off on a tangent, saying things like "it's undisciplined" - wtf does that even mean ?

>here's the thing

>It's a Tarantino """movie"""

he does give good reviews to be fair, but when he gets triggered he really lets it all out.

MUH JACKIE BROWN

Brexit really hit this nu male hard.

Sounds like he's a cancerous moralist.

Under The Shadow was good and spooky but I don't see how it could unironically be his favorite movie of the year.

>tfw he hasn't been great since Jackie Brown

It's about an oppressed Muslim female. Of course it's his MotY.

>It's a 'Simon interrupts Kermode mid rant to pick him up on a grammatical error' episode
Fuck of Mayo, I was just getting hard

Could you give an example? The only one I can think of is when he got triggered by Sex & the City 2, because he hates capitalism.

>oppressed muslim female
That's thrice redundant.

It is? Guess I'll remove it from the queue then. I thought it was a horror movie.

Entourage: The Movie
He got triggered because of lad culture, but he liked Inbetweeners. Makes no sense personally

He's good I just wish he'd keep his politics to himself...

It's so funny. Sometimes I feel like they silently despise each other.

Yeah, he never does this

Top work lad

>le dishonest cinema man

>that one cloney film
>Mark brings up the word blowhard
>Mayo: "You're a blowhard, Mark"

The main character is a muslim female living in war torn Iran in the 80s, of course there's some "opression" but it's not the main focus of the movie.

Under the Shadow

He got triggered by Entourage's embrace of hypercapitalism too

GOAT Kermodian rant
youtube.com/watch?v=mfgCZ9lgQ3I

You could think that but he said he hated the film 10 seconds in, which clearly isn't a fair review. He just got angry because it was a film glorifying hollywood. He wouldn't understand that some people, like myself who somewhat enjoyed the series, thought the movie was enjoyable to an extent

t. pleb

>Hi Worcester and Jeeves, after finishing an inexplicably long day last Friday and barely overcoming the so-called 'thrills' of modern parenthood involving a few WRIs, the husband and I decided to engage in a spot of Friday night escapist fantasy with -FILM X- based solely upon Mark's review, listened to on my generic fruit-based device. After asking instructions on how to drive to the local world of cine (you just drive to the local world of cine), Imagine our shock when it turned out to be a two-hour slog through inane, baffling and incomprehensible utter tosh disguised as entertainment. Apoplectic with rage didn't even begin to cover it as we reached the sixty minute mark of inexorable dribble! We immediately retrieved the woeful disc from our DVD player of choice before returning it to the shop and instead ended up getting nice and cosy with a copy of Pirates 4. I feel there should be a new crevice inserted into the Church to reflect our current situation; might I suggest 'disappointed domicile?' In summation we feel the good doctor owes us an apology and will take this in the form of a birthday greeting to our daughter who is currently running a marathon overseas in Australia. Signed, Cunt.
>Well, I disagree, but that was very well written. How old did you say they were?

You're entitled to your opinion, but you're wrong.

Because of ideology.

try an argument next time.
meh. films gotta satisfy different audiences. by Kermodes logic he should berate any superhero film but he doesn't in particular

Tinkety tonk old fruit and down with the Nazis!

>paragraph of hyperbolic purple prose
>but that was very well written
Fucking pleb

Huh. I wrote that original copypasta and now it seems like someone has decided to tweak it and fucked it right up in the process.

>After asking instructions on how to drive to the local world of cine (you just drive to the local world of cine),

Who the fuck threw that in there? The next line even mentions that they were watching it on a DVD player.

>40 seconds in, he says "That's no excuse" about something in a movie, as if it needed justification
Wow, he's a film critic in the same way Christian reviewers are.

why does this man laugh at every shitty comedy

"lots of laughs all the way through"

"i started laughing and didn't stop"

fuck off

kek

Every. Fucking. Time.

INSIDE OUT MOTY FITE ME PLEBS

>autism

well your post had laughs all the way through

SIX

LAUGH

TEST

His taste is not as refined as yours

wow! it's like I'm really listening to the podcast

Probably pressure from the BBC

Not even memeing, they jumped the shark around that time, I think that was when they brought in their "one woman on each panel comedy show is mandatory" rule

Marxists are so fucking annoying

'member that time he started to sing "The Internationale" to counteract the toxic capitalism of a movie?

Which one?

Should've been sacked

I think it was sex and the city 2

He's still the best critic out there

Kermode isn't actaully like this though

I don't get how people can listen to his reviews, he's so scatterbrained and can't never even finish his own sentences without going on a tangent about something

stay slow idiot

what did he say about arrival? i want to know now.

Kermode has always been a massive lefty feminist, you only notice now because he has started using tumblr buzzwords.

Kermode & Mayo are super easy to make fun of, often for good reason, but part of what I like about the show is how nice they are. So many of the emails are fucking infuriating but they just act like everyone who listens to the show is an insightful friend. They even treat the creepy stalker emails nicely. It's the opposite of Sup Forums where we would call people out and call them retarded autistic plebs and stuff.

You're a perma virgin.

let's stop fucking around and talk about Kermode's ELITE tie game:

why the fuck does he always wear a suit

i understand that he cant stop now but why did he ever think this was a good idea in the first place

gotta look dope on radio

Jesus Christ I don't even think I know an SJW that'd be that much of a faggot. What's the matter with these old marxist fairies?He IS gay, right?

He really liked it.
youtube.com/watch?v=RvAUN6QPyco

Something something Elvis

Holy shit
youtu.be/uHeQeHstrsc?t=7m4s

i thought you were fucking joking what the fuck lmao

Based

BASED

>Americans will never listen to Steve Wright and Simon mayo on a daily basis

What's the closest thing Americlaps have to Radio 2?

That bit where they take the burkas off and show their shallow vacuous consumer designer clothes is true, gulf arabs do that exactly

Something communist and gay? I guess MSNBC.

rush limbough

Kermode is the only rogue marxist element. It's mostly comfy level cynical bants.

IF WE WERE IN A SEX AND CITY MOVIE WE'D BE THE HELP, WE'D BE THE SERFS!

never change Kermode

lel, BBC is the cultural marxism broadcast network, they even have a director of diversity. I seriously question your britbong credentials if you haven't noticed their SJW infiltration at all levels.

>Americans will never listen to Steve Wright
Because they're already got a million different versions of him.

"Zoo radio" was a Murcan invention. It was Steve Wright (or rather, his Murcan wife) who stole the idea and brought it to the UK in the 1980s.

>lel, BBC is the cultural marxism broadcast network
>'cultural' marxism
BBC is the straight up marxism broadcast network. They make no bones about it.

I loved his review for Pain and Gain. It was a very good review. Even though I liked the movie for mostly exactly the reasons he hated it.

What did he cry about? Too much toxic masculinity? That shit's Michael Bay's only decent movie.

>what is 13 hours

By all means, see for yourself:

youtube.com/watch?v=GcHvRhq36hw

>Werner Hertzog could look at Pain and Gain and he'd actually be scared

HOLY SHIT HAHAHAHAHAHA

why is mayo so cheeky?

mayo > kermode

they're like penn and teller

Mark is a great film critic, perhaps the country's finest, but this type of ''ethical quandary'' has long been his Achilles heel. Whenever he's faced with a protagonist not designed for endearment his response is that the film can therefore not be deemed a success.

>its a Mark reviews a horror film and gives it at least 8/10 episode
>its a Mark goes on about Texas Chainsaw Massacre episode

>indie horror automatically 8+/10
>mainstream horror automatically 4/10
>indie horror by female director automatically in top 10 list

...

>it's an animated film is unappreciated by the Oscars episode

beside the exorcist, what's Kermode's top tier horror?

Eyes Without a Face
Don't Look Now

>Mark gave a positive review to Basic Instinct 2

he tried to convince Kevin Spacey Texas Chainsaw Massacre was one of the best films of all time.

>It's a Mark sucks the Exorcist's dick episode

Wait that's almost every episode

Most important review

youtube.com/watch?v=58FU_yQYqhc

Cultural marxism is a myth.

BBC bias is a myth. You know left-wingers say it's right-wing?

>It's a William Peter Blatty episode

come on mate, did you know the majority of british people support Trumps muslim ban? You'd never know about it reading the BBC.

>14 minutes

kino

>BBC bias is a myth. You know left-wingers say it's right-wing?
European lefties are mentally ill. There is no goddamned way anyone could interpret the BBC to be right wing in any sense besides the fact that they do not as of yet openly call for capitalists to be rounded up and executed.

i saw them literally point that out when discussing it on bbc news tho

>did you know the majority of british people support Trumps muslim ban?
Hmm, no, I didn't. Mind pointing to the poll that shows a majority support it? Because I've seen a couple with a decent bit of support, but none with a majority

They'd say the same about you

WATCH IT, DANNY DYAAAHH

DANNY DOYAH