I got a plan to totally rekt this paranormie ghost the characters in the movie were too stupid to realize.
>wait until i see it and know its in a 5 mile radius >hop in car and peel off to airport 2 hours away >buy plane ticket to straya >NYC to straya is 10,000 miles away >normal walking rate is about 1 mile every 20 minutes >do the math it would take about 4 months to reach me minimum assuming it doesn't drown along the way >forget that loser ever existed >at the end of 4 months, buy plane ticket home >repeat for the rest of my life >checkmate ghost
Thomas Gutierrez
Don't forget you can fuck some sluts while you're there to delay it getting back to you even more.
Oh wait... you're a fucking virgin faggoy who can't get pussy, and misses the points of movies. Get over yourself cunt.
David Edwards
>turns out the ghost learns by imitation >gets inside a plane, getting there 3 months and a half early >gg
Lucas Richardson
HOT HEAD
Caleb Gray
plane tickets are expensive
not to mention renting two apartments and staying employed while you trapeze from NYC and Sydney every four motnhs
Nathaniel Russell
well fuck
Isaac Brown
that's cheating you can't do that.
Jonathan Ward
I'd just call the winchesters. That curse would be rekt in about 20 minutes..
Michael Hernandez
>be virgin >monster kills all of the normies who have sex >get to live in a wizard utopia once they're all gone
Camden Robinson
> cum onto a bunch of maggots > maggots become flies > flies do their fly thing and fuck off and reproduce > ghost is trapped forever trying to kill billions of flies that it will never be able to catch
Liam Hill
OKAY NEW PLAN since autist allies have turned against me
>be me >have sex with chick (dont ask, just assume) >get it follows std >surround house with treadmills
YOUR FUCKING MOVE PARANORMIE
Jaxon Cox
assuming you have the money for all of that, the time it takes you to set all that up would be enough for it to get to you, remember it doesnt rest while you do
Carson Cooper
Entire concept gets ruined once it becomes an invisible physical being. You throw a blanket over it so people believe you, then you lock it in a jail cell.
Grayson Kelly
Why not? It can open doors, speak etc
William Harris
>order treadmills off amazon >same day drone delivery bitch >go for a ride as far as possible >turn back when I get the delivered text >quickly install (i have at least a few hours) >gg fucker
Michael Morales
Fucking prozzies would work best, or someone high profile so it makes the news when they die so you know it's after you again
Luis Bell
Isn't it a homage to Carpenter?
Lucas Jackson
...
Jayden Myers
>ghost is outside >officer knocks on your door >'sir open up!' >'sir if you dont open up we have to forcefully come in!' >cops make way for entrance >kicks your door >arrests your ass >youre stuck in a jail room with no where to go
Isaac Phillips
Why do people act like the monster behaves completely rationally and linear like a loading bar on a computer?
For all we know at a set time it "spawns" 150 feet away from the target and then begins slowly ambling toward them
Like how Jason Vorhees can teleport whenever he's not being directly observed
Dylan Miller
double doored safe
walk through one end, ghost follows lock door walk out of safe lock door ghost is trapped in safe
Anthony Phillips
>Not binding the spirit to your will using your new found wizard powers
Pleb.
Samuel Long
You can't beat it. It can travel as fast as it needs to. Death is inevitable, that's the whole point of the movie.
Jack Cooper
>not fucking the ghost itself
Joshua Howard
>he follows you into the plane with you >you are now stuck on a plane it for the next 20 hours
GG
Isaiah Sullivan
It can't open locked doors. checkmate.
How is it going to get me if I'm in a jail cell?
Eli Allen
In this scenario I am positive most people would actually begin experimenting with animals.
Jack Cox
Is it a metaphor for AIDS?
Grayson Brooks
You dont get it mate, its patient, its inevitable, in a few hours or days, a cop will open that cell and takeout/put in another prisoner, the ghost is constantly waiting for that moment
Elijah Williams
>be thief >jackass lines up 30+ treadmills outside his house >stake the place out >find out jackass locked himself in his room for some fucking reason >call my homies to jack 30 grand worth of treadmill
Jaxson Perry
>NYC >If America, this person is posting on a weekday at 9 AM. NYC is too expensive to be a neet. I'd bet midwest.
Nolan Green
>first day of jail punch cop >get beaten and thrown into solitary confinement >weeks later >"have you learned your lesson user?" >"fuck you pig" >"oh? lets see how you feel in another few weeks." >repeat
checkmate
Lincoln Morgan
Fuck your stupid plan. I had a plan to kill the witch in Blair Witch Project. I would steal Murphy's Robocop armor, don it, then lay on the leaves in the forest pretending to be a tree trunk. When she comes to harass me, I'll stand up real quick and gab her in the hooha, I'm suited in fucking power metal armor, let's see her stupid witchery put my teeth in a drawstring bag. Just for kicks I might ignite a ton of thermite on her witch shack and watch her abstract face as all her corners melt. This goes for all dumb supernatural schlock, nothing beats the stomping power of industry. Fuck you
Landon Butler
>punch cop
its already got you at that point mate
Evan King
Haven't seen the movie. What does it do when it catches you?
Joseph Davis
fucks you to death srs
one guy had the host transform into his mom and when it got to him the ghost (as his mom) was riding his dick
Jaxson Russell
kiss and hug you, the fuck you think it does user?
Jayden Wright
fucc
Carson Hughes
What does the monster even do?
Owen Howard
death by snoo snoo, see here
Cameron Sanders
It follows
Juan Reyes
wrong answer
Carson Wilson
i don't even remember how this movie ended, they eletrocuted the aids and then there's an epilogic, ambiguous shot of it following the mc per formula amirite? totally guessing from induction here
Alexander Hall
What if you fuck a girl twice, do you get "it" back?
Elijah Roberts
...
Christopher Rogers
>no one has ever posted on Sup Forums from work >I don't understand why the board we're on right now is blue
Charles Stewart
OKAY OKAY NEW PLAN
>be john goodman's character in 10 cloverfield lane >find out it follows you >drive home >run into prebuilt bunker >lock door >supplies for years >electricity, water, cable set to autopay >shitpost on Sup Forums telling them I've won >gg
your move
Sebastian White
>run out of supplies eventually >it's right the fuck outside your door
Luis Myers
>have small vent to drop supplies in >call friends and get them to buy me food >send money on paypal >eternally btfo
Isaiah Collins
You're all dump shits
>find huge bunker with enough room to run around and one exit only >open door >go to opposite end of the door >wait for IT to come to you >run to the door once it gets near >shut the door >fuck as many bitches you can
GG movie
Tyler Bailey
>in your best case scenario >spend rest of life in a cell afraid of an invisible thing that will kill you the instant you leave
Wow, checkmate ghost.
Daniel Myers
Dont' forget, you can get the people who slept with you, that are "next" on the list, to send you money. If you still alive, "it" only follows you. Everyone else is safe and can live their lives normally. If YOU die, it follows them. Use this as blackmail. Get thousands of dollars and supplies for free.
CHECK FUCKING MATE
Nicholas Evans
implying it is not supernatural being resistant to all shenanigans people in here come to mind
than you could just take bazooka and blow the fucker up... or call the cops, or history channel to make reportage on it
Sebastian Brooks
this desu, why has no one actually thought of trapping it instead of trapping yourself?
Evan Evans
Planes don't work dumbass, it can turn up anywhere
James Taylor
They made it clear that the ghost thing doesnnt like water and can't swim so going to another continent should stop it dead on its tracks.
Juan Mitchell
but it swam in the movie and fucked their shit up?
Sebastian Brooks
So it's an STD, will eventually kill you, and stuck to one continent while other people ignored the problem and didn't believe it was real.
HOW IT IS NOT LIKE AIDS?
Dylan Gutierrez
>Get it to follow me >go to disney world >be in the middle of the crowd >it catches up to me >it picks me up by my hair like that girl in the movie and begins tearing me to shreds >people are witnessing me up floating in the air being torn apart >thousands of witnesses >thousands of video recordings >scientists and authorities baffled, now investigating >through detective work and research they eventually discover the truth >sacrifice myself for mankind
Andrew Nelson
hello one person
Jayden Wright
OKAY OKAY OKAY IVE GOT IT THIS TIME
>make friends with elon musk >keep evading paranormie for years while you work on relationship >become best friends >one day on your bday, elon says "hey user would you like to visit space?" >"s-sure elon." >week before, dlure paranormie somewhere far away to make sure it wont reach the launch on time >hurry back >get on >ride elon's rockets to outer space >whip out pistol and force pilots to dock with ISS >ive got the only gun >take over >send everyone home >gg
Find a flaw with this theory.
Jacob Flores
If you actually shoot the gun you could wind up spacing yourself
Kayden Rivera
It's literally a metaphor for death and how you can't outrun it.
Yet all you nerds are constantly trying to sound smart by saying how you would outrun it. You're missing the point of the movie. You nerds always care about the details.
Lincoln Powell
Wouldn't it be better to trap the monster on the space station instead of yourself?
Alexander Morgan
No. What if it jumps off the space station after I leave? It could fall back down to Earth and back to square 1.
Me being IN the space station means it could never get to me. Pretty sure it can't jump that high or pilot a shuttle.
Charles Jones
> "Okay user, we'll need to draw this thing to us and we need also need to see it." > "So we'll both have to fuck you. We'll take turns." > tfw
Noah Powell
Genius.
Colton James
>Capture ghost in elaborate cage >Fuck ghost in through the cage bars >Ghost implodes
Nathan Bennett
Youmustbefunatparties.jpg
Hunter Hill
Just become a truck driver. Then you're always on the move
Joshua Phillips
fucking genius
Josiah Mitchell
would do with mosquitoes since I hate them
Joshua Cox
I'm trying to see the downside.
Logan Allen
>not fucking a whore and bring her in Disney cost some money but meh, you're alive
Nolan Reyes
>quickly rape stewardess >she now sees the ghost >explain situation quickly >she forces herself on the next best guy >continue like this >the next 20 hours are a constant fucking orgy of people full of fear
Lincoln Sullivan
Imagin that ghost just going on and swating flies everywhere
Owen Peterson
>quickly ra- >tackled by air marshall before user can even slide it in >handcuffed to seat >raped by ghost
Joseph Long
Fuck whores Whores fuck Johns Rinse and repeat
EZ MODE
Sebastian Lewis
whats this
David Wood
You guys are all fucking retarded.
>buy a zepelin >live there for the rest of your life, only occasionally stopping at some random village to buy foods
Thomas Allen
I support this
Jeremiah Bailey
not bad
Matthew Cox
i just hope it will take a good shape
Wyatt Richardson
The ghost would just break the treadmill. Its not retarded
Eli Cooper
>be jackass >rape thief >??? >profit
Tyler Torres
>have bareback sex with bisexual degenerate >checkmate ghost
Luke Kelly
I guess you also plan on never having sex with anyone for the rest of your life. Never getting married or else it would kill your wife. Etc.
Ryan Evans
It never speaks in the movie.
Adrian Bailey
Does having never seen your mother's uterus mean she has no uterus? fuck off
Thomas Taylor
You've never seen a tea cup floating around Saturn.
It never speaks in the movie.
Chase Diaz
>I guess you also plan on never having sex with anyone for the rest of your life. Where do you think you are?
Elijah Green
I'd like to remind you all that it could teleport
They drove all night and by noon next day it was at the beachhouse smashing through the door.
Racking up a bulk of sex partners doesnt work either. After you're cursed it goes after you or your next partner, and his or her next partner.
You could however bang someone every time it comes after you.
Bentley Evans
just buy a ticket to vegas and fuck as many hookers as you can senpai
Carter Reyes
just don't have sex lmao
Gavin Howard
it'll turn into a midget and climb down the vent
Christian Anderson
How about when she was in the hospital? It had like 4 days of walking from the beach to the hospital then another 3 days of walking to try to reach Chad. Why didn't it use it's teleport ability then? Must have been out of mana.
Elijah Evans
Take a hooker with you, just to be safe.
>fuck her once >it comes in >Gtfo while hooker gets rekt
Jordan Wright
Find someone you hate, knock them out and proceed to rape, then take off and let nature take its course
Eli Anderson
Get a hula hoop filled with salt. Your move gonorrhea ghost!
Cooper Perez
True story. Hung out with the director and he told me it's a metaphor for puberty.