1999

>1999
>1:30 am
>watching Comedy Central with the volume turned down to the threshold of human hearing
>steel drums start playing

It's time.

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youtube.com/watch?v=EzrhArE9urs
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>softcore porn night on Showtime

Oh man
That takes me back.

I swear that sometimes they showed some tit. It was seemingly random tho

>tfw these roasties are old as fuck now and sagging to the floor

>50 best breasts
>isn't actually a list compilation of 50 awesome titties
My salt could fill the Great Lakes

So...you're saying we got a chance now?

steel drums still give me boners because of these

>recording first comes out for televisions
>tv provider gives you all the prime channels for free for a couple weeks a year
>dad explaining it to mom
>JUST RECORD EVERYTHING WE CAN WATCH IT LATER WHEN WE DON'T HAVE THESE FREE CHANNELS ANYMORE!!
>records fucking everything
>tons of free porn on these channels
>rename the titles to anime names so no one will click on them
>jerk it in the middle of the night
>get sweet sweet dialup porn a few years later

>When that one channel switched over to scrambled porn at 11pm

>9:30 to 11:30, MST3K on Sci-fi
>11:30, opening SNL monologue and sketches
>Midnight, flip back and forth between softcover porn on Showtime and SNL any time I thought I heard movement
>1 AM, SNL credits and intro to Live at the Apollo (I dunno why, they were both so comfy to me)
>1 am to 2 am, Red Dwarf on PBS

God I wish I was 15 again.

livin the dream

>when the flashing segment was over and the real sluts get on their bus to lez out

Yes, you see I am a messenger of hope.

>Fapping with one hand and controller on the other

>buy ppv porn and deny everything

My brother got busted once and I always got away with it by pinning it on him

Oh the memories hahah

One of these infomercials was hosted by a girl with short, black hair, maybe some kind of Asian. I've been looking around for it, but no luck. Anyone remember the title?

We have to go back!

youtube.com/watch?v=EzrhArE9urs

I still remember having AT&T back in the day. On 10:00pm when the moon was full and the seas were still then the fucking country music station (GAC) would turn over into the Vivid Network. Sometimes it'd stay like that for thirty seconds before scrambling the fuck up. But other times? Pure, perfect clarity.

I still have my spank tapes even though my VCR doesn't work and it isn't hooked up to anything. Just for the fuck of it.

the infomercial or the actual video

>steel drums start playing

who turned on Jane's Addiction

Same here. I was very much into the arts in like middle school and my parents were scared I was gay so when they saw the purchased a ppv of like busty blondes # 5 they were just happy i wasn't a Fag

Listen, I get it that this is an +18 board. Threads like this make me wonder if it shouldn't also be a -35.

try to finish before the commercial is over, can't time it right so you wait for the next time it comes on

If it was -35, it would be an awfully cold board. Don't you think?

This, if you are 21+ and still on 4ching you should end your life asap

>tfw used to dumpster dive at my apartment complex for playboys and hustler magazines

Was I the only one?

15-20 years ago there was a (free) Finnish local TV channel that broadcasted bizarre amateur comedy and interview shows during the day and hardcore porn during the night. Looking back it's absurd they weren't taken off the air on day one.

Shit

Did any of you guys actually watch any ggw videos?

Dial up porn... Porn flash games buffering on new grounds mid coitus

Here's a fag who never had to blow into an NES cartridge

they're online

they fucking suck

it's basically soft core porn

Downloaded off Kazaa or Limewire, my friend.

Where? I wanna watch some of the vids from start to back, I've only ever seen random clips here and there.

Who Howard Stern on E! into Wild On into GGW commercials here?

what was the name of the one where the chick cloned herself, or there were clones made of her. She had huge tits

youtube.com/watch?v=Ap48Yu59coA

>tfw you download a new mp3 file

>in forest with friends
>find a porn mag

>Downloaded off Kazaa or Limewire
RIP computer

I watched the one Kari Sweets clip. She didn't even get her tits out.

Haha
Whenever I had a bunch of friends over we turn the channel to comedy central to watch this shit.

>in the forest with friends near the train tracks
>find a whole garbage bag filled with porn
What's with this phenomenon?

>tfw searching for videos of girls your age and you're 12-14
Looking back I am amazed

Same happened here, why is finding porn in a forest such a common thing?

I have never understood who put those things in the fucking woods. Did they purposefully leave them there for pre-internet boys to find?

what's the matter with you kiddo? go open a thread about dragon ball super, justin biever, assasains creed or whatever.
Let people whose memories go back beyond the last couple years talk about it

Men don't want it around anymore and don't want to put it in the garbage in case they go through it (lots of the dodgy ones do looking for private info and shit to sell on) so they dump it in the forest. If somebody finds it, nobody knows it's yours. If they don't, who cares?

Alternative is to burn it.

This whole pic is out of line. Should be "when you're a 27 year old incel". Can't be single forever when you've had a gf already.

You fucking niggers stole my forest stash!

I will never forget blowing my first load to the Girls Gone Wild: Wild World commercial.

>usually skip past the scrambled german porn channels
>that night they forget to scramble it

Nope. By pure chance at 12 I happened upon a Playboy sitting on the recycle pile by the trash chute one night when my auntie told me to take out the garbage. Ever since that night, going to that room with the chute gets me all excited.

This

If you didn't have soft core porn on cable growing up then you missed out

I, too, understand the concept of forest porn. It's almost as quaint as a Norman Rockwell painting at this point.

woah woah, step the fuck back. who is feeding you this garbage meme? assuming your have your shit together you shouldn't be having to settle down to raise some chads sod. at 27 you should be able to get a 25 or 24 year old girl. its women pushing 30 the ones that should start getting desperate

We found an unopened box of condoms. Tried them on. Was too small for them since we were fucking 8. That was the only time I got to try a condom on as you can imagine.

Back where reddi+?

>be at middle school. no class.
>stoner and me see recycle bin is filled with old playboys.
>interested girl talks about it and wanders off alone with stoner

>gonna be 28 in 3 months
>thought going to college would help
>just feel increasingly isolated as I have nothing in common with anyone around me

This.

But Cinemax was the undisputed king of softcore porn. Showtime couldn't compete. And HBO had Real Sex which was extraordinarily vanilla and incredibly hit-and-miss. Hookers By The Point didn't offer much either. Moonlight Bunny Ranch was only good when Isabella Soprano was prominently featured. Otherwise episodes were dominated either by uninteresting women or that attentionwhore Airforce Amy.

idiot. we found some mags in the forest in 95. it's likely it was some kid who stole the mags of someone he knew then hid them in the forest

>It's a Howard has some rank looking female on his show, talking about how he is stroking his cock to her while some fat dude rubs a vibrator up and down on her blurred out vagina but you're 12 and so it's the hottest thing in the world and jack off ferociously, but then years of internet porn has guaranteed that you'll only feel revulsion if you see this again but deep down you know the secret behind all the porn you've seen since is that there is some strange looking Jewish man jacking off to a rank looking female while some fat guy rubs a vibrator up and down on her vagina, that part is just edited out of the videos episode.

OOBBOO

>literally Google searching cp
>"The FBI won't know and if they do I'll just say I was looking for 12 year olds because I'M 12!"

Thank god the Patriot act didn't exist in 1997 because I'm pretty sure my dad would have been fuuuuuucked

Kind of strange to think that 12 year olds today have to worry about doing this or else their parents will go to the Gulags

>2017
>11:30 pm on a Thursday
>jerk off with porn on my phone
>go to sleep

We have it far too easy, lads

It must've been one of the Emmanuelle in Space movies. There are so many Emmanuelle movies that there's probably one like that (though, I do remember one of the In Space movie having clones in it)

12 years just go to instagram and that musically app now

>Sexy program comes on later that night
>Want to record it but parents will see and can't rename things
>Record the movie that's on just before and make DVR continue recording two hours extra
>Fap

Fuck yeah

>Real Sex

That shit freaked me the fuck out, Ill never forget the Gummy Bear porn video.

>mfw girls at this age are now doing hardcore porn instead

So just by pure chance maybe one of you guys know of a movie I watched once very late at night at my grandparents house (we didnt have cable at home).I can't give very good plot descriptions, but I an give scenes that I remember.

It was about some girl with red/brown hair. There was a lesbian scene with her teacher at some point, beneath a tree. They wore see-through tops, I remember the nipples clearly.

There was a scene with some old man butler getting locked in a cage by one of the main girls friend. There was a boyfriend/stalker character that lusted after the main girl and threw himself off some rafter while they were shooting a show or something and broke his legs. He was in a wheel chair after.

I can't recall much else but maybe someone will know. I jerked off a lot to the lesbian scene.

>turn on hbo late at night
>the following movie is rated r
>it contains adult content, adult language, and nudity
>nothing, nothing, nothing, naked man ass

>try a condom on as a joke
>it has numbing cream in it
>doesnt warn you anywhere on the wrapper or box it came in
>worry my dick had broken and was going to rot off
>had to google the brand name to realize they are color coded and I'm meant to know somehow that orange means you wont be able to feel your dick

fuck all the broken dick cucks who need numbing cream to have sex that caused these to exist

>use to have stolen cable
>fap to porn channels
>they start cracking down on stolen cable
>porn channels is now all static but still have sound
>fap to girls moaning and occasionally see a titty through the static

that's actually factually incorrect. Men don't have a ticking biological clock.

Oh and it looked to be from the 70s.

I remember seeing a dildo factory one and my young mind thought that a man was impaled in the crotch with a giant pvc pipe

High school kids sending one another nudes can be fucking jailed and placed on a sex offenders list for the rest of their natural born lives if parents catch wind of it and make a big enough fucking fuss.

All I seem to remember is the one episode they played where the old people fucked. I think it was a nudist colony. And then this one other episode showed a guy eating cow shit for reasons I can't explain.

ehh no i don't remember if they were actually in space or not, or just some research facility.

looking at the main actress I think she had short black hair

once and I realized how fucking garbage it was with 3/4's of it just being dumb bimbo's dancing

>sneaking into the living room at night to watch some slag with massive fake tits shouting "if u wonna see my gash text now m8" into a microphone
Now I can masturbate to anything

Holy shit the dildo episode too. I remember that one. And you had this one hot chick with fake tits ride a silicone sex doll and see how it compared to the real thing.

That was the fucking worst

We all looked to the ratings to see if there was anything worth watching and we were often betrayed after the promise of nudity

you need strong sexual content or else its going to be fleeting, thats for sure.

I also found porn magazines in the forest with my friends, but it was gay porn.

Join a club breh. Interacting with other people, especially college liberals, fucking sucks at first, but you can find people with similar interests at least. Makes it easier to look past their fucking annoying personalities.

If there wasn't SSC then you were wasting your time.

>me and my dad walking in the forest
>find a porn magazine
>dad takes it with him

wtf dad

>Welcome to Wild On, I'm Brooke Burke

That makes you gay, user.

So long as you present yourself as an adult male who doesn't go around wearing cargo shorts/pants and fucking old Navy polos like you're fresh out of high school, there's no better time to strike than that age+

Young 20-something girls are super into mature men older than them that look like they have their shit together.
It's all about presentation.

Well, to be fair the option is there for you to fuck your step-dad. I don't think it means raise a kid. I mean, it just says ugly girls and step-dad.

>Be just barely pubescent me
>Stay at grandmas house for the weekend
>She has premium cable on the living room tv so in turn all the other tv's get an hbo channel
>tfw real sex comes on
>tfw it's the episode with the women riding the sex toy

man i think back to my youth and remember these videos coming on late at night. Now most of them chicks in the videos are middle aged. I wonder if their kids will find them videos. HAHA

I know this pain.

I wonder how many shitty movies I sat through hoping for just a glimpse of some tits.

No, they're things you become not things you fuck. You can't fuck "single forever". So your choices are become single for ever, become a step-dad, or become ugly girls.

Why though? What does the kid think when he hides it in the forest? Is he like some kind of pornographic Easter Bunny?