Well they sure wouldn't want to meet someone mean as you

>Well they sure wouldn't want to meet someone mean as you

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nailed it

>Hah I'll admit that's a pretty cool fantasy, it's too bad in real life those guys don't fuck animals.

...

>*clapping and laughing* Yeah, that wouldn't even be the first time it happened!

> (OP)
>>*clapping and laughing* Yeah, that wouldn't even be the first time it happened!

>at least I'm not a filthy surrender monkey! YOU FUCKING BITCH! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

then he just keeps screaming as loud as he can until he passes out

I like

>Wow that's interesting, because Leonardo told me about a similar fantasy of his. Only in his version, you're the one that leaves.

>FUCK YOU FRENCHIE FUCK YOU AHHHHHHHH *EATS SUB* HHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHERE IS THIS FROM

>Leonardo had the same fantasy of you and me spending time together and meeting him
>only in this version at the end you are the one that leaves

does this mean Leonardo fucked Jonah instead?

Yes. Straight men making homoerotic jokes please audiences, and women have no counter to it because it excludes them.

yes

>I'm afraid they're not into whores

Seriously, how hard can it be?

>muaaahaaa the french

>That's okay I only fuck funny women anyway

Was that so hard?

yah probably not.

>two years later
>still trying to come up with a comeback

you really wanna know?

I hope you're baiting

>"I'm sure they could do much better than you"

Only appropriate response.

>sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

Her banter was so good that even a board full of women-hating autists can't muster a decent reply

>You're such a fuckass

>these threads are back again

you're not even trying

Straight up said "I can arrange that" then winked at her.

What is this meme even about? Can some give me a quick rundown?

How old is this meme again? Haven't seen it in months

Nice.

That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my entire life! That's insane. Is it... Can I hear it again, do you have time?

youtube.com/watch?v=bb3raUCj2wY

>I know you are but what am I?

okay

From bottom of the hierarchy to the top it's
rothschild
bogdanoff
illuminati
french weather woman

Oh god this is bad. Imagine the silence from the crowd after saying that. Probably one of the other panelists would force an awkward laugh to try to bail Jonah out but it wouldn't work. He'd just be hanging there, everyone looking at him in embarrassed silence. Just imagine that atmosphere.

best response so far

Jonah already did the proper response. Why do these threads still exist?

One of the worst parts is the other guests reactions. They're not just laughing at a random joke, they go "awwwwww pooor Jonah that hit too close". They feel sorry for him. What a trainwreck.

Decent.

try as much as you like Sup Forums
that situation is unsalvageable

if he had a prop I think he could have saved himself

>laugh
>take out a french flag and wave it around
>"I surrender"
Or is that too bitter? maybe with some added sorries after it

>Well, I can make one part of that fantasy come true right now.
>*gets up and leaves the interview*
She'd probably get fired.

a bit much
maybe just saying "makes me kinda want leave already"

these threads are the equivalent of this comic

>*grabs her by the throat*
>"back the fuck off!?"

not even with that
his only chance was to immediately start shitting on her but even then that would probably still paint him as the sperg

Why are Americans so sensitive?
It was just a joke

if only you could post anime reaction images irl

>yeah? Well.. fuck you bitch

>P.U. Pepe Le Pew!

>Yeah, well, you know what? At least when I go to sleep at night it's with my piles of cash. What do you sleep with? A goatfucker. *audience gasps* What?! I'm just saying what EVERYONE in this fucking room is thinking about this...WHORE. What, are you all goatfuckers, too? You people live for that shit, huh? You know what, *pulls out .45* you know what I wanna hear that joke again. Say. It. Again. Don't luck at the camera, look at me. Nah nah don't start crying now. Make a fool outta me, eh? Did I amuse you enough? Let's give the people what they want, come sit on daddy's lap.

>I've seen the women they get with, and for you it's gonna have to stay a fantasy.

"Let's do it tonight. I hope you take it in the ass or they won't tip well."

>I know what you are but what am I?

*Teleports on top of her, crushing her bones and internal organs under his ameriweight.

...

>crushing her bones and internal organs under his ameriweight
Holy shit lol

>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My fans like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

Was waiting for this.

What?

>Haha! That's funny. No seriously, good one! Keep laughing everyone! Keep chuckling and just ignore the fact that I am a human being with feelings and aspirations. I worked really hard to get where I am and I aspire to give back to my fans appearing on talk shows like these. I donate my time and put myself out there every night for your entertainment, not because I need the money, but because I know people enjoy it. I do this for you and everyone at home watching. I came onto the French show without any ability to speak your language and I speak through an interpreter, why, because you think this is fun for me? Of course not. And so after I have so selflessly agreed to sit down and have a conversation with you, I get mercilessly mocked. What are we in high school again? I know I'm not the most attractive guy, I know I've got a weight problem. I deal with that every single day of my life and it's not something I'm proud of but at least I'm trying to change. That's my burden to bear and it is something that causes me a great deal of pain. So for you to bring that up on live TV and make fun of the fact that I'm not a guy with supermodel looks.... I don't know. You're just mean spirited. I really don't understand why you would get joy out of bringing me down like that.

Hah.

Only real answer

Just imagine what kind of guy made this up

...

>THE JERK STORE CALLED THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF YOU!!!!

>OHHHHHHHHH IM JONAH DICE CLAAAAAAY
>NOW TAKE MY BANANA JUICE YOU HOOOAH
>OHHHHH AGOOSH AGOOSH

flawless

>"Uhh.. you don't get to bring friends"

>If you're trying to dig for gold, there's plenty of nuggets to be found in these pants right here.

Yeah, you dominate the room by making some laugh and others uncomfortable while being unphased yourself. Jonah is an alpha, he'd pull it off.

>What do you know, you are just a nobody
>Me and Leo joke about you guys all the time. How you try so hard to be one of us, but your attempts are laughably futile none the less.
>Your legacy is worth less than ashes scattered in the wind and you will never amount to anything significant you plastic face bitch

I don't think you understand the goal here
>haha you're right, I really do want to fuck you just like you assumed I would, I know I'd have to pay for it so uhhhh how much?
great comeback cuck

this, but it is important to cry(just a little) in every pause as you catch your breath

nice digits

Jonah: No more threesomes.
Host: What?
Jonah: I said, no more threesomes. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been in France a long time. They didn't go over there and tell you. I don't arrange threesomes anymore.
Host: Relax, will ya? Ya flip right out, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...
Jonah: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...
Host: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a show, I just came home and I haven't seen you ever and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Jonah: I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Host: Okay, salud.
Host: [takes a drink] Now go home and get your fuckin' friends.
Jonah: Mother fuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!
Host: [taunting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!

>They don't fuck dogs

>Oh, no, usually Leo lets me watch
I mean it's not great but there's not much he could have come up on the spot

>I only do girls above 5/10.

>So you don't want me? What can I say, people fall into circumstance and things happen because I believe these things were meant to happen when they were born. People just follow their script without thinking about taking another path. They think and feel and just follow through. If they get into a conversation with someone they like and that person likes them, they just decide to get into a relationship. That's just the normal thing people do. They follow their desires. That was in their script. Me, however, think and feel, but choose NOT to follow through with things simply because I want to be different. It causes temporary pain and grief over loss but that goes away. I chose to dishonor my needs and desires when I was younger for various personal reason but I consciously chose this path.

>I only do Subway.

>Well I hope they like anal because they'd be fucking a real asshole.

>benis in butt total ebin :DDDDDD