CURE FOR WELLNESS REVIEW BY CHRIS STUCKMANN

youtube.com/watch?v=Vj1zY_bcwOY

>takes critics to task for shitting all over original kino while complaining we don't get enough original kino

If this doesn't convince you Chris is /ourguy/, nothing will.

He's basically taking on the industry at this point.

Didn't watch shit but
>uses his review to criticise the reviews of other critics instead of actually critiquing the movie
Don't care

He does both you ninny.

being an original idea for a movie does not justify it being a piece of shit. Fuck you Cuckmann.

Couldn't he have afforded a Vegeta doll?

>original idea
>spooky asylum where something is going wrong
Yeah, what are Shutter Island and Stonehearst Asylum.

Another movie for the list

oh boy, my favourite reviewer, Chris Cuckmann, the arbiter of cinema, said its alright? kino confirmed

By "original ideas" people mean "new IPs", and not "remember this thing from the 90s? It's a movie now."

>this background
>look at me, I'm a neeeerd, Zelda, Mario Superbros and mainstream animu amirite?

>remember this thing from the 90s? It's a movie now
How does it refer to the aforementioned moves?

People want original IPs, and not remakes of films from the 90s. I just worded it weirdly.

imagine being so vapid that you actively dislike movies simply due to redditors sharing interest in them

Imagine being a redditor and actually liking those movies

imagine not understanding whats wrong with having the same interests as reddit

Why is literal youtuber shilling allowed?

What the only thing linking them together is that they occur in an asylum

Hey reddit

I don't normally see the point in images like that. But isn't it just that Reddit has shit taste. I watched a few movies off that list like the blair witch and it was the most boring horror movie I have ever watched. Redditors are just a bunch of pussies who get scared by anything

TELL IT TO ZODDS SNAPPED NECK LOL

Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outift in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up and ran crying from his house, he screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so i told him i thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and said, "But am i a Big Guy for you?", I told him yes, and he flipped me over and started talking me from behind, continually moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.

double kek

as if I needed anymore proof that Sup Forums doesn't actually like movies

CHRIST STUCKMANN IS MY FAVORITE INTERNET IDOL

Doesn Sup Forums hate him because he is white?

was he always a big fan of the franchise by any chance?

That's what it takes to be a special snowflake. How long until neo-Sup Forums starts hating Sopranos?

Sure but do those movies have 300 hundred year old rapist and magic eel juice?