Carmen Ibanez, worst pilot ever

Let's talk about Carmen, and why she's the worst fucking pilot in the history of the federation. We'll examine every time she gets behind the wheel of a starship, and examine exactly how much she is fucking up and how much of a retard she is.

First time we see her fly is when she takes the shuttle from the surface of the moon to the orbital ring. She flies the thing inside of the network of beams and girdles, and judging from the reaction of her passengers, she's not supposed to do that. You can clearly see that there are walkways and airlocks inside of that thing, so it's reasonable to think that sometimes there are people in there. What if another shuttle had been parked in there? What if a team of engineers had been working EVA in there? She'd have pasted them on the windshield, and probably sent the shuttle ricocheting to a wall and killed a bunch of people. Great fucking work Carmen.

dat botched plastic tho

i dont want a girl pilot, surgeon, or comedian. ever.

Then she gets in the Roger Young. She shows off once again by not disengaging the fuel ducts until the last moment. What would have happened if there had been a malfunction preventing them from releasing Carmen? Would you have had time to brake before the pipes tense up and snap? Why do you think everyone else is uncomfortable when you do that? It's because it's fucking retarded. You wouldn't have had time to brake. You'd have fucked up the refueling umbilicals and the Roger Young would have been stuck a week longer at port while it's being fixed.

carmen sucked her way into the top

Brains weren't the only things gettin' sucked

And then there's the stellar job she does at dodging the fucking asteroid. Why would she wait until the last second before starting to move away? How is it not better to start dodging as soon as possible? How does that make any sense? But no one else on the ship seems to mind, so I'll just chalk this up to nineties movie writing and give her a pass. Later when she's flying the escape pod it sort of makes sense for her to wait at the last minute before she starts braking because she's trying to let aerobraking do as much work as possible. The writers of a nineties action movie don't understand how maneuvering an airplane and maneuvering a starship are fundamentally different things. Never mind.

>finding out that 99% of the characters on screen are morons and the writers literally don't give a shit if things are correct or not when compared to the real world

Remember, Hollywood movies are like watching a more complicated high school play.

Let's move on then, to the Klendatu (or is it planet B?) orbital drop when the captain realizes that the bug orbital defenses are neither light nor random, and orders Carmen to break for high orbit. What would you do at this moment if you were in Carmen's seat? You'd punch the engines to full throttle and pitch up, right? And what does she do? She pitches down. She's going towards the planet where they're being shot at from. And before one of you retards starts talking about how she's dodging the ships in front of her, why did she have to dodge downwards? Why not dodge upwards? Not only does it move the ship away from danger, it also provides cover from ground fire because the other ships would be between the Roger Young and the planet. And why the fuck would she need to dodge anyway? The ships aren't accelerating, they're all moving at the same pace, just fly up Carmen, just fucking fly up, because this is a nineties movies and the writers don't understand how thrust works in a vacuum, let alone how orbital mechanics work, so these other ships can be stationary while having their engines turned on. Fly up Carmen. The Captain told you to fly up, why are you flying down?

Fuck you Carmen.

>Fuck you Carmen

Rico, let it go.

Top notch

Uhh, in case you didn't watch the red letter media review, they made it pretty obvious that Starship Troopers is about generational advancement in a fascist society. In other words, when the older generation dies, the younger generation takes over, and that happens frequently when you're at war. In other words, when the older generation dies, the younger generation takes over, and that happens frequently when you're at war. In other words, when the older generation dies, the younger generation takes over, and that happens frequently when you're at war. So yeah, she didn't suck anyone's dick, she was simply just there when the person before her died. Please do not bring up dicks in this discussion again.

*gagging*
*lips smack*
*pop*

ITT: Butthurt Dizzyfags

Why was Carl dressed like a Nazi at the funeral?

>watch starship troopers in 8th grade
>"ugh Johnny Rico's such a pussy, how can he just let Carmen run over his feelings like that, this would never happen in real life"
>be me entering my 30s
>several women in my life have pulled a Carmen and I've been just as beta as Johnny, if not moreso
>tfw no Dizzy to save me from these space Stacies
>I know now that Carmen is an accurate representation of girls at that age and that Dizzy was the fantasy

nicu blog desu ne

Fucking finally someone calls her out. I was rewatching the movie for the first time in years the other day and couldn't stop thinking about this shit.

What was that shit about? She nearly crashes the side of it into the station just to show off. I'd have made her leave the console if I were her commanding officer and demote her.

High quality thread

Carmen was prettier, but Dizzy aged like fine wine and she has GODDES tier feet

I would murder people for her feet

Wow, I wonder how much of this movie flew over your head

/thread

Am I the only one who hated Diz?
She was a jealous bitch.

she had frizzy hair. I hated her the first moment I saw her.

...

yea but I bet she gives real good head, that Carmen

what's wrong with her face?

Easily the most autistic OP on Sup Forums right now.

M.I. does the dying fleet just does the flying

Because its fucking snazzy

>tfw iktf exactly

Well, with the asteroid, remember that things were moving at incredible speed, so there wasn't much time to get out of the way. OTOH, if she hadn't tried to lick Xander's nads (Sorry, I mean "navs") the Rodger Young would have missed it entirely. Also they might have been able to warn Earth and save Buenos Aires. So she kinda fucked that up. But she did as well as she could.

The book is infinitely better!

It's Rodger Young. Get it right, you moron!

>>She nearly crashes the side of it into the station just to show off. I'd have made her leave the console if I were her commanding officer and demote her.
I almost didn't get my driver's license because I was too close to the curb. Imagine that with a million tons of starship.

>Ibanez

>>Ibanez
>>I ban ez
>>I ban(g) ez
>>I bang EZ
...whoa.
okay okay.. or
>>Ibanez
>>I BANE Z
she's a big girl

>he worst fucking pilot in the history of the federation.
I honestly can't fault her directly since this is the same command structure that:
>ignores the vast infinity of space in order to put their entire fleet into a formation so tight individual ships can't maneuver while the enemy has the ability to defend their orbital space
>launch a massive land invasion without air support or heavy weapons to establish a beach head
>fall apart in an utter rout within hours
>fire the guy who came up with the idea
>then do exactly the same thing again
Orbital superiority is the ultimate high ground. At least in the book they turn the surface of the planet to glass before sending in the MI.

>>I BANE Z

What did they mean by this

to be fair aren't all the hotshot pilots in all movies troublemakers who don't follow the rules?

i think there's two things being addressed here.

is she a bad pilot (skill wise) and is she breaking the rules?

Yes she's breaking the rules, but they probably over look that because she was still under "training" and she had skills. According to that one guy (her partner) there was talk about some girl moving up the ranks pretty fast. That was carmen. So she is known by the military that she is very talented. She's just a trouble maker.

this is no different than the US army. they will overlook you breaking the rules if you are valuable.

>it's okay if she destroys herself, her multi trillion dollar spaceship, hundreds of staff, destroys the space bay and potentially damages the space base, as long as we find out if she's got that fightin spirit

>Ywn live in a fascist spacefaring civilization

Why bother with breathing?

Better question is why were they wearing rain coats on a space ship in orbit then later on a desert moon?

Argentinians are white

But mate you forget she was a hard 10. It's impossible to judge a chick like that objectively.

>swn use your mouth to cum

The movie hints that the attack on Buenos Aires may have been an inside job and if so, the military most-likely knew war was going to happen. Even if that didn't happen, the military still wanted war. Buenos Aires was just the catalyst.

Carmen is one of their most skilled pilots. She's a bitch, she's a trouble maker, and she doesn't follow rules well. However, she didn't actually damage anything. In her training she did all sorts of stupid stuff that would have probably landed her in trouble if she would have fucked up. However she didn't. So look at it through the military's point of view. War is coming and you need skilled pilots. Carmen is one of the most skilled pilots and you don't want to kill her career. Especially since she's so gifted at such a young age. They will look past that because of necessity.

I mean you don't need to argue with me whether it's right or wrong. It's just what is. Look at YouTube channels with military people doing all sorts of stupid ass shit with expensive military equipment. They get away with it and the military looks the other way around.

Well, I know it's a bait thread, but anyway I will make a serious reply... She has the balls to broke the rules. That's why she is that special. She can do things that any other pilot can make.

My problem with Carmen is that Denise Richards is the worst actress in the history of mankind.

Best nuclear physicist, however.

>she's the worst fucking pilot in the history of the federation

Carmen is the best pilot in the history of the Federation. That's why she gets away with so much.

>Ywn live in a civilization that actually knows the correct definition of "fascism"

because Starship Troopers has the future where Trump won the election.

Why was there a shooting range in the middle of the base?

>2 guys on the watch tower are directly in the line of fire of the two guys on the cement bank