What is the most useless mutant ability someone could have?

What is the most useless mutant ability someone could have?

The power of getting dubs

To glow in the dark. Not even create light, just be like a living glow in the dark yo-yo.

The ability to hide in mom's basement for years because you are too scared to interact with people besides the McDonald's cashier.

That spike guy from X3

The power to make animals want to fuck you, very few people would use or even want a power like this.

>humans are animals tho

Super powers that command animals rarely command humans, too.

Aquaman can only command sea animals, even though the difference between a dolphin and bear is far less than between a dolphin and fish or squid or sea urchin.

the guy with spines coming out of his face seems pretty useless

the power to change the color of things

The power of having no powers.

Not being powerless, but having the power of having no particular power.

There's a mutant in the comics who has the ability to give people temporary tattoos

Being gay.

That's not a super power

The ability to only watch BLACKED

Teleport to the center of the Sun when startled.

The ability to disappear from existence if you think about breathing manually.

That one is X2 where the kid could just change channels every time he blinked

Id literally kill myself if that was my superpower

keked hard, got any more?

The Xanth series by Piers Anthrony is predicated on the fact that everyone has a magic ability. Some, however, have what is known as a "spot on the wall" type, which means their power amounts to doing something like making a colored dot appear on the wall. Presumably there are mutants with equally useless abilities.

When riled up, "It Ain't Me" starts playing.

i guess my power is having a headache only in my left ear about twice a day

That's some solid technopathy actually.

the ability to communicate with dinosaurs

Sense when someone dies.

it's also dangerous because of foreign pathogens

The power to move you.

Photographic memory but only of 1980's pop song lyrics

The ability to travel forward in time 1 second per second

The ability to know the last time a person took a shit

Being able to identify someone by the taste of their semen

the ability to hold your breath underwater for 1 second longer than youre normally capable of

The ability to generate uncooked pasta that can never be cooked

That pretty useful against anyone that can stop time

Nobody asked what your power was.

being able to direct all bullets shot in your direction towards your balls

Braaap

this would be an amazing xmen comedy spin off

dude walks around with a huge granit rock on his groin

the ability to create bubblewrap but only on a specific street on a country you're not from.

ability to fart out of your mouth but only if your plug your ass with a pool cue

>cut off balls and plant them on enemies

Sounds useful.

Grant Morrison made "Mutants" just people with non human features rather than them all having super powers

There are a shit load of mutants with curses than powers. Like the guy with three heads.

Just because you're a mutie doesn't make you a superpowered god

>HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE WITHOUT BEING KILLED BALLMAN?
>one second let me castrate myself..

...

That could be useful for caving or getting around during a power outage.

Popularity on Sup Forums

>can change colors specifically enough to effectively camoflauge something into it's surroundings

There was one mutant in X-3 i believe, his power is to regrow his hands in seconds.

One character's power is just changing the color of their piss right?

ability to accidentally tell random people in public that you are a child rapist even if you arent

>Like the guy with three heads.
>The ability to suck three dicks at once.

>You came alone, outnumbered, outgunned, you're stupid, but I concede you that you have balls...any way...kill him
>No...you have them
>Nani?!!

...

The ability to sharpen pencils with your asshole

I guess it would come in handy in prison kek.

the ability to do a REALLY fucking good impression of leonardo dicaprio with a lisp

Dude isn't that just called turetts syndrome.

The ability to If you read this your mother will die of old age at the late age of 120 surrounded by her family, happy

the ability to run for president and win even though you are completely unqualified and are a retard

The ability to grow large amounts of pubic hair

Useful since you can train yourself, there are people that can hold it for 4-5+ minutes, each time you reach your best result your power would kick in making it last one more second, potentially creating an infinite loop as long you keep training or your brain dies.

Dude... not cool.

that makes no sense, you would just be able to add 1 second to whatever best your lungs could do

it wouldnt infinitely add more

But it is SOOOOOPPER

THANKS FOR ASKING.

that's a great power. turn your enemies black, paint entire houses in a second. turn the sun black and hold it hostage for millions of dollars to turn it back

Knowing if someone is in a relationship
Knowing if theres someone using the bathroom

Oglaf made a decent comic.

Super power to be the best guy in the world at giving men blowjobs. You have the talent, will you use it though? OR LET IT GO TO WASTE... Waste...waste....

That could be one guy in that universe.

underrated

>have three dicks
>meet the guy with three heads

>your time increases by 1 second each time you hold your breath
>able to hold breath for 20 seconds, that increases to 21 seconds which is now your new best
>you now are able to hold your breath for 22 seconds
>etc..

a genie would fucking destroy you, wish bitch.

The power to makes any 92 year old woman fall in love with you.

>I'd do it for the inheritance.

i remember reading a comic and there was a guy called plaid lad, he could make things plaid

The power to seduce any woman, doing so changes them into a BBW

NO YOU IDIOT YOU SUCK AT THINKING

UNLESS YOU TRAINED TO HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR 21 SECONDS AFTER 20 YOU WOULDNT GET TO 22

AND YOU CAN ONLY TRAIN TO HOLD YOUR BREATH TO A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME EVEN IF ITS 10 MINUTES

GOD I HATE YOU REMOVE YOURSELF FROM GENE POOL

The ability to stay completely firm in one place, nobody can move you, not even God himself could move you from that place. You're completely vulnerable and mortal, and you can be murdered right there, but not moved.

>You are now heir to the Throne of Great Britain and the Head of State of 15 countries

W e W

I ain't gonna lie to you, that would be pretty sweet. I could behead Willy boy and fuck Kate blind.

>train to get 20
>ability makes 21
>now you can train to get to 22 since you clearly can hold until 21
>hit 22, ability makes it 23
>loop until your body runs out of oxygen
>die

The ability to grow hair anywhere on your body at will at whatever speed you desire. Only grow.

>can hold breath for 10 minutes
>can now hold breath for 10 minutes and 1 second
>new best time is 10 minutes and 1 second so power allows you to hold breath for 10 minutes and 2 seconds

you lose bud.

>grow hair
>sell for money
>become billionaire
???

Lots of uses for that, make a fortune selling real hair wigs for one

>make everyone you hate a nigger
>somehow a bad power

>longer than youre normally capable of
>normally


kill yourself you idiots, i swear this board is full of sub 90 IQ retards

the ability to heal others by taking their illnesses/injuries onto your own body

The ability to see through couches.

study
have iq of 80
now 81
now 82
now 83
now 84
now 85
now 86
now 87
now 88
now 89
now 90
now 91
now 92
now 93
now 94
now 95
now bright enough to realize should kill self

the power to die in your sleep

go back to you fucking autist

The guy with the porcupine quills.

The TSA would love you, catch all those smugglers hiding contraband up their snatch

90.51 iq for me, btfo

According to the book Stiff, which documents how people die, something like 60% of deaths are really painful or painful and protracted.

underrated superpower, even if one-use.

>can hold my breath for 10 seconds
>can now hold my breath for 11 seconds
>can hold my breath for 11 seconds
>can now hold my breath for 12 seconds

are you seriously not getting this?

haha

nvm read that as crotches

I chuckled.

That's called an earache