Let's guess the first joke tonight at the Oscars

>Welcome to the 89th Academy Awards, also known as the last Academy Awards

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drumpfblackpeoplestrannywomynsrefugeessojiohjiopgsejogpsjbosnboep

Occasionally, they will briefly talk about movies

Boy the academy sure are a bunch of talentless shills

Jeffrey Tambor jumps out and exclaims, "I'm Oscar!"

DRUMPF WHITE PEOPLE LMAO

>try so hard to get a hated man into office
>surprised people talk about how much they hate him

Man it's so funny how he only became hated after he started running for president

Comrades!

This is no time for jokes!

The influence is ours, the cultures is ours -

We should, and WILL [cameras on Will Arnett *laughs*] seize POWA!

ACTORS AND ACTRESSES AND ACTRIX OF AMERICA, UNITE!

About drumf, white people, crazy rednecks, being cuck is great, rich people (Hollywood excluded of course)

>try so hard to get a crooked witch into office
>surprised people laugh at you when you cry

fuck drumpf and fuck """white people"""

>try so hard to get a hated man into office
This is why you'll keep losing. Until these coastal elite leads liberal party continental USA is out of your reach

it's also weird how people who voted for bill clinton and his policies think trump is a big fat racist for having the same policy positions

>this far into Trump's presidency and they're STILL bringing up hillary

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

>lights dim
>youtube.com/watch?v=U06jlgpMtQs starts playing

Every joke will be about how much more diverse they are than trump

and every joke will receive thunderous applause

The Oscars should be about movies, not politics. They can say whatever the fuck they want, but do it on their own time instead of using the show as a soapbox so they can pat themselves on the back.

But it's current year. So it's not okay in the current year.

What does any of it have to do with politics?
It's a movie award ceremony

she was the alternative buddy boy

>look ma I shoehorned in again

lmao knew I was right. God you cucks are so transparent it kills me.

>says Trump is a dummy
>audience cheers
>jerk each other off by giving each other awards
>they all leave to go back to their expensive homes in gated communities feeling great about themselves

what policies?
things they dont have in common I cant think of:
nafta/free trade in general vs bilateral
guns
amnesty

can*

One thing though. No one will say the word 'Trump' during the whole 3 hours, they're afraid, they just can't. It's like a taboo word for them. They'll only imply that there are talking about him.

I remember last year leading up to the Oscars Sup Forums was saying how it was going to be nothing but praising black people the entire time, and it wasn't even close, even with Chris Rock hosting. Now Sup Forums is already on full damage control mode saying it'll be nothing but Trump jokes and you'll very likely be wrong again, and shit like this will just go ignored again. It's hilarious how full of shit low IQ retards are on here who love to smell their own farts.

I guess we'll find out soon

the big one, immigration
youtube.com/watch?v=FZXbG5gvoC0

remember, trump was a democrat not long ago

lots of dems and repubs have pandered about it, clinton apparently gave amnesty to 3 million illegals

>Viggo Mortensen wins
>gives a 10 minute long rambling speech about hormones in our drinking water and how infared signals are turning our children into robots

NO MORE WALLS
>goes back to walled off mansion in walled off community

No he was hated long before that
True dat, bubbas crime bill and welfare to work was racist
People are ignorant

How dare Trump say "Grab them by the pussy!"
>applauds convicted child rapist Roman Polanski

Yea. Opening will be full of Drumpf jokes and some speeches as well, but I don't believe it will be non-stop jerk off contest.

>Someone told me that Loving was going to win
>and I said NEGGA PLEASE
>*horrified audience clutches pearls*

>You know Dev Patel is Indian and not Chinese
>Because if he was Chinese they would have already eaten that lion
>*horrified gasps, Chinese investors withdraw their money for future Matt Damon movies*

>Gallagher is invited on stage and smashes a watermelon
>You gotta smash these nigger eggs before they hatch or you'll end up with more colored movies nominated!
>Gary Oldman gives standing O

>and murderer Bruce Jenner & Matt Broderick & John "yellow tikes mean nothing to kikes" Landis

Of course not, cause they're referring to the whole "alt right" movement

His point is that Trump is seen as racist for wanting exactly what the Clintons shilled for. He's also called homophobic when the Clintons fought hard against Pro-LGBT bills.

>Snoby Hollywood Actor: WE MUST STOP THIS ONSLAUGHT OF HATRED AGAINST THE LGBTQ+9000 COMMUNITY. WE SHALL BOYCOTT ANY STATES WITH ANTI-LGBT LAWS.
>Rich as fuck Hollywood ((((Executives)))) get all tense. Spaghetti starts wiggling out of their orifices. From afar one can hear an executive go "Oy Vey muh shekels!!!". A bunch of Je- er...i mean Hollywood executives start making phone calls to some shitty Far East Nation.
>The talentless American actor (sorry Brits make for better actors) then corrects himself, "Oh im sorry let me correct myself: WE WILL BOYCOTT ANY AMERICAN STATE WITH ANTI-LGBT LAWS.
>All the little goblins in 800 dollar suits and golden chains with stars that have six corners and are made from African blood diamonds all sigh in relief, so much so that the entire theater smells of kosher meat.
>They have their underpaid chauffeurs drive them back to their homes in Beverly Hills with guards at the front, high tech cameras, dogs, and a giant wall to keep intruders out.
>They plop their fat butts in their 5000000 dollar leather couches made from real human flesh, very expensive.
>They turn on the TV to see...EGAD President Drumph on the TV talking about building a wall to keep people out and to keep our country safe, what a silly idea
> Before sleep they make a Bunch of calls to to their Chinese investors to ensure that there will be no boycott against the Great and Glorious state of China, even though the country is notorious for violating LGBT rights
Come to think about being a Hollywood CEO is kind of cool. What would you guys do in that position? Also my fingers hurt

Underrated

>Welcome to the 89th Academy Awards, it's good to see so many enemies of the people in one room.

>Welcome
>So
>That Donald Trump
>Am I right

will he cry about a lion getting killed on national tv again?

Do people still unironically actually find Jimmy Kibble funny?

So Trump is kinda like Voldemort for the leftists? Cool

Why are Trumpfags(I.E. Racists) so much more butthurt now that he won?

He's funny but not as KINO as 80s David Byrne

>Hello everybody this is the 89th Academy Awards, movie review!

10 years ago yea

because they thought all the SJW shit would stop for some reason. It's only grown 10,000 times more rampant. Good job you fucking memers

muhahahahahaha

45 Second speeches mean no one can do a Street. I imagine there will be plenty of imagery in the musical performances though.

This.

It's alright though. He's going to silence anyone who opposes him soon, legally.

that's kinda facist-y

DRUMPF
*oscar audience erupts into laughter*

Will Viggo take a shower for tonight, lads?

>Republicans
>not constantly butthurt
It's a never ending cycle.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>Drumph
Oh shit
>Is..........racist
The next day it is reported that all the attendants of the Oscars died a glorious death due to unstoppable laughter. Ben Affleck was said to have shit his pants 5 times in a row? RDJ tried to climb out of the pukes of decomposed bodies but a las he is a Manlet so he couldn't walk up the bodies. Lol the faggot wears high heels. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
oh and Clint Eastwood survived and just sat there looking pretty content with himself