Most autistic thing you've ever done?

Most autistic thing you've ever done?

>be me 13-14 year old beta faggot
>at some weekend camp with class
>some big-ass cabin in the forest
>its night, some of the popular guys have brought a cdplayer with this tiny speaker. (it was before smartphones and all that shit)
>it doesn't work
>they come to me
>"hey user, if you can fix this we'll invite you to a game later"
>me having no friends i light up and agree
>fix it within 2 minutes, can't even remember what was wrong with it
>go to the kitchen and play on my gameboy
>it gets late, walk by popular guys room
>can hear laughing and music
>carefully knock the door
>they open the door

>"hey user *chuckle*, what do you want?"
>me being autistic as fuck
>"h..hey. i-i-i thought i cou-could join you.. you--you know because i fixed the cdplayer"
>they chuckle for a bit
>"sure user, why dont you sit over there"
>3-4 grills and 5-6 guys are there
(1/2)

>they're playing cards
>one of the guys suggest they play strip poker
>all the girls look at me
>can hear whispering and see them all exchanging looks
>the guy who owns the cdplayer says
"come on girls", he fixed our cd-player, remember?
>they nod and giggle a bit
>cards are being dealt
>i never played poker, have no idea what it's about
>apparently one of the girl loses and has to drop her tshirt
>can hear one of the guys laughing and saying "remember it's 10 seconds"
>they all laugh

>she starts taking her tshirt off
>basically no boobs, but shes still wearing a bra
>i start counting, out loud, like an autistic faggot
>"ONE... TWO.. .THREE"
>they all stop laughing and clearly uncomfortable
>i'm having the time of my life staring at this
>have no idea how awkward i am
>after some time she puts her tshirt back on

>i say rather loudly, "Hey, that was only 7 seconds, no cheating!"
>she looks at the guys
>the guy with the cd-player comes over to me and says i should probably head to my own room.
>i nod a few times, "oh, is the game over?"
> "ye... yeah user, the game is over.. you won, cool right?"

>go to bed, can hear laughing and them having fun through the entire night.

(2/2)

>Be me
>14 yo
>Had to write some retarded story for my Slovak language class
>Write about Funeral
>Gay is dead
>His BF is going to say some words
>He speak about how good couple they were
>How they met in gay bar
>how the had fun times at night
> How they had three and foursome
>Teacher reads my shit
>I got 5
>She thought that I was making fun of it
>And she was right
>Told me that she will give me worse final mark
>YouCunt.jpg

Pic not related ( But she is lesbian ) my folder is empty

Ah, that old chestnut. We've all been there.

proof that nords are inbred

Feel bad for you but this isnt Sup Forums related
Delete your thread and go to Sup Forums

how does it feels to have friends user?

You seem to be confusing Sup Forums with Sup Forums, I suggest fucking off.

>and she was right
topkek

i love reading stories like this for some reason. why is /r9k/ so interesting. i feel like reading that now actually

>be in 6th grade
>have a crush on this 8th grade girl named Julie
>never dared talk to her
>her birthday comes up
>make her a card and cover it with glitter and fake plastic diamonds and shit
>nervously give it to her
>she's weirded out but nice about it
>I say: It-it-it's jewelly, like your-your n-name.

I still feel physically embarrassed when I remember it.

That's r9k tier of autism

don't get me wrong, i love these kinds of threads, but take it to Sup Forums

Some of us only go to Sup Forums

fucking kill yourself please.

> be me out of town for work
> getting some chinese food from small establishment
> as I wait milf walks in sees my forearm tattoo
> starts saying I bet you have a thick snake user, touching my arm
> I start talking about my pet snake at home
> she looks at me like im retarded
> order is called
> go back to my hotel room and realise i'm a failure
> get drunk alone, jerk off and go to sleep

>be me, 8th grade
>time for the morning pledge of allegiance
>I've been planning this for days
>everyone stands up
>I keep sitting
>teacher asks "user why aren't you standing"
>"i don't need to stand"
>"but user don't you have any respect for your country"
>yell "i will respect this country when it respects me!"
>i thought it was the most badass thing ever
>the whole class bursts into laughter
thank god I'm done with those autistic middle school / high school days

Does anyone here actually have autism?

Legitimate autist reporting in.

prove it

He's posting on Sup Forums that is proof enough

Damn you faggots are pathetic.

Get on my level

Just put 75 hours into dark souls in 5 or 6 days.

I wrote a 40 page document explaining in minute detail the linguistics of Na'Vi (the fantasy language of avatar) in italian.... I am belgian...

It still haunts me every day. That moment of peak autism 5 years ago.

The worst is when you're in your 20s but still go to doctor appointments with your mom
The receptionists always immediately sense my virgin aura and start treating me like a baby or they completely ignore me and talk directly with my mom
>ok user what's your telephone number?
>uh... 555-555....
>panic and say 5 digit area code
>she gives me a look and starts talking directly to my mom
And there was another time I had to make a phone call and couldn't think of my mothers maiden name, so I had to keep mumbling "pls wait" while I searched for it through some documents

Also, don't like the thread? Hide it and go back to your cuck and trump threads stupid niggers

Free bump :^)

I had a similar experience
>Be 2nd/3rd grade
>Brother been telling me about Germany and WWII and we're German descent
>Now want a really strong big German government to rule America
>Chorus teacher wants us to stand up and do the pledge
>Refuse because I'm German not American

Idk if it was just my brother or a mix of that and some other tragic shit that happened, that made me think that way but it was weird
>Now a Christian conservative

Sup Forums is 100% cancer, traps, sissy, rate my cock and stoner threads.

It's a very hostile place for polacks

>be me, 15
>somehow get invited to a small party
>get drunk and talk to a girl
>eventually she starts rubbing my leg towards my crotch
>ask me if i like it
>laugh awkwardly, say "yep, hmm i like that", in the most autistic way possibly and proceed to make weird moaning noises.
>she looks at me in horror
>walks away
>never see anyone from that party again

i could have had the normie life

what to do if a woman asks you this but you actually have a pencildick? must be awkward as fuck

Implying that buck toothed cunt has friends. He's probably sitting alone in a trailer that's 115 degrees chuckling to himself while a tarantula crawls across his CRT monitor.

I'm so sorry

>be me 16-17 (can't remember)
>school lunch
>hang out with usual group
>this one girl really likes it when I pet her head
>do this for weeks every lunch break
>head pat girl comes to me
>hey user do you want to go do something after school or something
>Nah I'm going to play vidya gaymes with different user
>oh... okay
>I proceed the head patting ritual until end of school
>prom comes up
>me to girl
>want to go to prom with me
>she says yes
>cool we're meeting up at anons house so we can go together as friends
>she's quiet the rest of the week and at prom
>never heard from her again after prom
And now I'm almost a wizard

i want /r9k/ to leave

This thread belong on /r9k/

Funny stories tho.

>uh... 555-555....
>panic and say 5 digit area code
lol, when this happens to me I just say I recently changed phone number and need to look it up.

>be me, last week
>finished final biology exam for summer class
>walkin' and talkin' with qt from class
>talkin' about bonus questions
>getting close to where we part ways in the parking lot
>she ask for my number and facebook so we can work together on questions
>before she even finish asking for my number i blurt out "have a great summer, bye, see ya" in the most autstic fucking fast mumbo jumbo ever
>can hear say "what" in a confused voice, but i keep walking
>i just kept walking....

Kek

I knew that /pol is just a bunch of beta faggots who won't ever touch a real woman. Except for mom, maybe.

that petting is just a shy excuse to feel your hand on her body.
She wanted you user, she wanted you in the most perverted and lewd yet innocent way.

she could've been sucking your dick RIGHT NOW

Fuckin lol

Posted on Sup Forums.

I swear that 90% of the people on Sup Forums are autists from Sup Forums, Sup Forums, and /jp/.

>Yep, hmm I like that

I pictured this in Kermit's voice

>be me 18 yo
>travel to Amsterdam with 2 friends if mine and 1 other chubby chick 2/10
>have no tent myself
>2/10 invites me to sleep in her tent
>24/7 420 blaze it all the time
>was next level high all the time
>first night she comes over and rub herself on me wanted to start to make out with me
>me handsome 9/10 full trained body refuse
>i am disgusted
>next night she started to make strange noise with her lips
>high me thinks she is masterbating
>thought to myself is she does it dafuq i can aswell
>pull out my penis and masterbate
>smoke more weed afterwards
>fall asleep
>next mornig she told my friends that i masterbated next to her
>mfw started to realize that was not the best decision
>2/10 is mad because i rejected her and tells everyone in my school
>after two weeks my whole school knows
>fucks up my life, have a mentally breakdown
>i was/am so in love with another girl but i lost my face after pulling this shit
>i honestly regret do masterbate next to the 2/10

Bugger off to /r9k/ lad.

I will regret this until forever
She was pretty cute as well

i just do the normal autistic shit like;

>At a restaurant
>waitor gives food
>says 'enjoy your meal'
>i say 'you too'

i do this shit in various situations because im a fucking mong

>be in 4th grade
>be friends with a girl called Jessica
>she is cute as fuck
>we're both into pokemans
>give her one of these shiny cards as a gift, it was the pokemans that she always wanted
>from then on ignores me
>see her later in highschool (she was in a different class)
>through some stupid internship programm our classes get mixed together
>sit directly oposite of her and have to watch her making out with her new bf which is some punk faggot with long hair
>mfw just sitting there taking it
>few years later
>classtrip
>we're walking up some steep hill
>on top I sit on one of the benches
>she walks up with 7 dudes from her class
>they take seats next to me
>want to get up and leave
>suddenly she says "don't go away user, stay for the picture"
>keep sitting
>never see the picture but now the assholes were making stupid gestures behind my back
>later her bf shoves me into a tree
>hear her laughing

Aaaarh the cringe it hurts

baneposted irl

>and that's why I cheer for Trump now

> it's a leave out Sup Forums episode

>me handsome 9/10 full trained body refuse

pic or didn't happen

>Be me
>Post on Sup Forums

>learned to communicate to store clerks in normal situations
>unusual situation happens
>card rejected etc
>spaghetti everywhere

return to reddit and stay there

fuck it hurts reading it

but I remember something similar

>be 6th grade
>make letter for girl in class
>letter says "wanna be my gf"
>I give it to her at the end of school
>She reads it and shouts very evily "No!"
>Whole school starts laughing

yeah

...

damn. that's hardcore

That's how sprees start.

Well it is kind of autistic.
Not being able to deal with unprepared or unrehearsed situations.

Read this thread, faggot. Read it. That's the real face of /pol, your average Trump supporter.

>15 and horny
>be too shy to talk to girls in class
>go to the mall to try to meet girls
>actually meet a girl who's 14, shes taller than me and a model
>after she writes down her phonenumber I rip it out, put it next to my chest and say "you will always be close to my heart" and smile

>never hear from her again

kek

ah thats not that bad, desu

The sting of betrayal

Damn it. I have to travel quite far by train soon. But I am completely unable to interact with other people. How do you cope?

I have never posted there neither do I have own or have ever owned a plebbot account.

>I still feel physically embarrassed when I remember it.

I expect that when she remembers, she remembers your card fondly.

*cuckpost
Fixed that for you

>I say: It-it-it's jewelly, like your-your n-name.
upside is now you have an autistic story to tell on Sup Forums.

poutanakia oles..apo mikres!

...

Even their moms don't touch them by well maybe with a stick.

> go to the mall to try to meet girls
> to the mall

This can legitimately only have happened in burger land.

When I was 6 or 7 me and my mom were having dinner in a restaurant and she said she'd give me 20 euros if I went over to two smoking hot broads in a table and asked them for a light. I went there with a cigarette in my hand and asked them. At first they were confused but then lighted me up and I said "Hey thanks." and went back. Got 20 euros that night.

Oh you pillock. Made me cringe so hard my butthole swallowed my boxer shorts.

Would've worked and got a laugh if you said it with confidence and not like a spaz

Sent an email to one of my classmates saying i love her when i was 13
3 years of silence followed

why?

Headphones.

How fucking messed up was your mom
Crack family?

Lel

Nowhere in the fucking world is the mall the centre of social life besides Murica and maybe some Arab shit holes.