Do you guys have any cool/funny/strange experiences with Americans visiting your country?

Do you guys have any cool/funny/strange experiences with Americans visiting your country?

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gawker.com/5932846/american-becomes-laughingstock-of-canada-after-letter-to-editor-lamenting-lack-of-handgun-during-mild-confrontation
knowyourmeme.com/memes/shart-in-mart
ifunny.co
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

I remember hearing an american husband and wife olus their three children and what I'm guessing is the wife's sister or children's baby sitter
The women sounded as if they had just breathed helium before speaking

>go out
>see american tourist saying "hi, where can i buy my gallon sized butter shake with extra chunk of butter on it? i need a healthy carb free drink :DDDDD"
>day ruined

>go outside
>see Jap tourist saying, "Hi, where can I buy raw fish, with an extra chunk of raw horse in it? I need a healthy parasite free meal :DDDDD"
>day ruined

You're lying. Everyone knows the real American tourist experience is...
>go out
>see american tourist
>get shot

when my mom was a kid a draft dodger ran over her neighbor and friend and killed her

he could dodge, they couldn't

Kek

Dog bless

>American tourist asks direction to the shitiest hood in the city
>patiently explain him that he will get robbed / kidnapped / die
>After 5 min of conversation tell him the directions
>Next day read in the news about a foreigner getting shot
Every time I say to an america that favelas are bad they look at me like I am some kind of racist cunt, they always learn the hard way

>studied abroad in Germany
>First day of class
>accidentally elbowed a hot 3d girl right in the pussy while sitting down
>say "HAHA WHAHOOPS" really fucking loud in a dead silent classroom

>olus their three children
What did he mean by this?

>go out
>see american girl banging a bunch of black dude, she must be more than 200 burgers ( += 100 kilos). she is clapping, her husband is clapping. the blacks are now clapping the president is clapping

mfw its 1964 all over again

dudes*
>day ruined

An American tourist fucked my wife in front of me. It was so hot, I could not avoid jacking off to it. It was my wife's (and also mine) greatest orgasm. I am now raising my wife's son.

hey bud do me a solid and leave the cuckposting to us

>American in charge of taking a joke
also
>parasite free
? didn't you mean to imply it was parasite-ridden meat? 0x2

Some american couple was down in calgary and some calgarian people asked those american folks "are you going to the stampede?" The americans were taken back from this hospitality and said "i know my rights of open carry" "huh? Are you going to the stampede?"
"Ask one more time boy or imma shoot ya in self defence"
"You're gonna shoot me for asking if you're going to the stampede?"
>pulls out pistol somehow he managed to get across the border
>security tackles the american dude
>gets provincial wide news coverage
>people keep making fun of the american guy on twatter and kikebook for being so brainless (as per usual for an american)

Seen it on the news a year or two ago

Science is amazing

Real version is funnier.

gawker.com/5932846/american-becomes-laughingstock-of-canada-after-letter-to-editor-lamenting-lack-of-handgun-during-mild-confrontation

>see old UK couple in San Francisco
>Oi would ye look at dat fookin prison o'er on the wa'er out their?!
That there's Al-cuh-traz that there is

Silly accents are funny

>see American
>get shot
>they say it'll give me autism
Day ruined.

sit at red lights in my land rover,coffee mug in a mug holder,hear some loud shouting from inside the store because window is open,200 kg american tourist waddles outside and my friend quotes Gennaro from Jurassic Park "maybe its the power returning".

laugh uncontrollably as the american falls over

Lol

nope, the only american tourist that i met were very kind.

>Working at a gas station
>American woman walks in
>She orders a hot dog REALLY loudly
>I say "That will be 46 kroner, please."
>She asks "Can I pay in Euros?"
>I answer that it's unfortunately not possible for me to accept anything but Norwegian kroners
>She keeps insisting to pay in Euros, with arguments like "Come on, I just came here from *insert country*, and have all these leftover Euros", and "Why don't you take Euros, this is Europe, is it not?" etc.
>When she run out of arguments, she just repeat the ones she already said
>She is getting visibly more upset with me as I keep refuing to take the Euros
>I try to be helpfull, and explain that she would have to trade in the Euros for Norwegian kroner at an exchange office, since there isn't a single store in Norway that will accept anything else but kroners
>While trying to give her directions to the closest exchange office, she simply walks out of the store, while saying "I'll try the store across the street, maybe they'll help me!"
Lol, who the fuck doesn't check what the local currency is before going somewhere?

>worked in a hotel and evicted American out of our hotel once
>Called police, embassy and all that shit
>he is fat
>stays for like 2 months in our cheap ass backpacker hotel
>and tried to buy handbags to gift to one of the girl who work here (She refused it.)
>the last days he kinda have a breakdown where he goes down to offend Swedish, Afghan, and brown New Zealand backpackers with racist stuff I never thought would hear outside Sup Forums
>not to mention he do it at the break of dawn, going to the capsule of each one and woke them up.
>when I called the cop to evict him, I actually have Swedish big guy and other annoyed guest stayed with me

Not a lie. I worked there for like six months and we had some weird guest but this guy takt the crown.

An American girl had never tasted real strawberries. When I offered her some delicious ones from my mother's patch, she didn't like them.

During The " invasion" they were searching our house and I was so scared and intimidated by their presence I shat myself

>"Why don't you take Euros, this is Europe, is it not?"
Well? D:

Never seen american irl

Scandinavia isn't actually Europe.

>I shat myself
AMERICAN'D

...

Its always women and they always expect Denmark to be a progressive/tolerant communist Utopia.
They always get a mental break down and goes ballistic when they find out we are nationalistic to the point of hilarity and shittalk immigrant (mostly shitskins) all the time.

Think about it. We're more like an island off the coast of Europe. The only thing that really ties us to the continent is some wasteland in fucking Russia.

Did they give you a greencard on the spot?

>Wake up
>Go outside
>See Americans
>Day ruined
EVERY FUCKING TIME

They were scary they had lasers and shit, the guns didn't really scare me, I'm used to those but those goddamn lasers so fucking creepy

Nope they just laughed their asses off

I was poking fun at how Americans are the ones who are supposed to shit themselves.
I'm sorry that had to happen to you, though.

Yes. They were very friendly and gave me book of Mormon.

no

Also American Russian accent sounds sexy.

Well, truth to be told, we do. The whole country is actually just a nature theme-park in northern Germany.
So we who live here, get our salaries, buy groceries, etc. in Euros.

But we are told to never ever break character in front of tourists, so this is why we insist on only accepting the theme park currency you buy at the entrance, better known as "Norwegian kroner".

>be israel
>actually think americans would give you a greencard for breaking into people's homes or if they killed your neighbor

How old were you?

>spend nine months as an exchanged student
>everyone is friendly and I have a pleasant visit

God bless.

It's okay it wasn't as bad as the monthly inspections that my sister had to take

>the monthly inspections that my sister had to take

Hot.

Did you FUCK some Amerisluts?

25

Either you literally can't read, or you are implying Iraq is America's territory and Iraqis were trespassing by being born there.

Well not my place to judge we never knew what happened it was in a private booth all I know is my sister doesn't want to talk about it

It was probably just pity sex

Dumb Amerisharts probably didn't even read the waiver they signed.

How is your life today? Where are you in Iraq?

No but I was very close. Spereged out like a true autist

They were just checking for WMDs in her bagina

...

What are you talking about? You asked if the americans that broke in literally gave him a greencard on the spot. Why would they do that? I'm not implying anything.

Doesn't sound like they were very friendly and pleasant then.

I'm a guy. Met an american guy in bar. We argued about NHL and laughed. The we smiled and he watched me in eyes.

After that we shared a hamburger in night grill. I touched his hair. We went to my house and had gentle sex.

We kind of were I mean Christopher Columbus did discover America and Iraq so it's not our country it rightfully belongs to America

Living in my parents basement and currently unemployed

Who was bottom?

Come on man we are talking about American soldiers they have integrity and respect for the flag they would never do that

We switched. Afterwards, we shared a coca cola and watched NHL highlights

Not sure if that's a look of disbelief or pure disgust but thanks

In sorry to hear all that's happened to you, but could you now please apologies for 9/11.?

disgust.

That wasn't us, when you find the missing 58 pages then holla back at me , it will eventually all lead to Saudi Arabia.

Yeah I could tell everyone looks at me that way maybe because of my chronic acne maybe it's because I'm 5 foot 1

it was a shart joke you idiot, i asked if he gave him a greencard for shitting himself like a true american

Well it wasn't shiting myself I mean I did poop but the underwear fabric held it together like a disgusting safety net so it was just the smell but those were some long-ass shitstains I tell you that much

Americans don't visit my country. Only chinese do.

He wasn't even in a mart so that is irrelevant

What the fuck are you talking about?

There's an inside joke on Sup Forums that white trash Americans shot their pants at Walmart

Still don't get it break it down in layman's term for me my uncle is retarded so I might be retarded basically you're dealing with a possibly retarded individual so do you really want to risk it?

bullied him into drinking with us, he ended shitting himself

knowyourmeme.com/memes/shart-in-mart

For the last time I did not shit myself yes I have dedicated out of fear yes the poop did come in contact with the boxers but the fabric as stated earlier has worked as a safety net so I did not shit myself I just accidentally caught my poop using my underwear there's a difference

quality shitpost

Nope if I need any meme information or background I shall go to the greatest website on the internet


ifunny.co

I hope you choke on a stale waffle and the guy that saves you using the Heimlich turns out to be a gay dude and then you get to live the rest of your life contemplating on that moment wondering was he thrusting or pulling you to his Direction and at the final moment on your Deathbed you shall come to the conclusion that you have became a sodomite because of that incident

...

Yes I am retarded

Hot.

euro is the currency of the european union, and we are one of the european countries that are not a member of the european union

Oh man, this thread.

Thanks for sharing your experience. Just imagine; if a detachment of Baathist republican guards showed up on my doorstep, I'd probably have violent bodily reactions as well.

Snowden

>Lol, who the fuck doesn't check what the local currency is before going somewhere?
you need to think like a woman

Just kind. They are allways happy and kind. I guess leaving the states for a while is good for your mental health.

you should record it

>no sugar

wow, the audacity of this burger
>muh 911

a webm floating about of a granny releasing diaria on a shelf in a store somewhere in the us
hence shart in mart