Aus/pol/ General - Coalition Wins Edition

Well the election is basically decided. Coalition are set to return.

They will get between 76 and 78 seats. Even if they get one or two less they have won the support of Based Katter and the old trout in Indi.

Senate results will come in a couple of weeks. Looking pretty spicy.

abc.net.au/news/federal-election-2016/results/

Other urls found in this thread:

news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/theyre-here-taylor-swift-and-tom-hiddleston-have-arrived-in-australia-on-way-to-gold-coast/news-story/22e8dda01bf03087f56ddecd2b8e0337
youtube.com/watch?v=8PfDro1UGUo
9news.com.au/national/2016/07/08/15/40/xenophon-apologises-to-australia-for-pyne
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

plz respond

Ahahahahahaha, you fell for Pyney's maymay!

Are you implying The Coalition isn't going to win m8?

Also have you posted over on /Aus/ on ate chan? I'd swear I saw that image there once.

Are they finally getting rid of the cancerous Safe Schools program?
Are the borders secure?
Are we still going to get fucked over by big business?

>Are they finally getting rid of the cancerous Safe Schools program?
I reckon Turnbull privately supports it but will have to be pretty cautious because the right of his party is fired up about his bad performance and won't let him fag up the kids.

>Are the borders secure?
The planes fly straight over them and pour chinks and curries into us like we are a designated shitting river.

>Are we still going to get fucked over by big business?
The senate won't be very business friendly and may save us from some of the worst stuff.

It'll be a hung parliament with the dodgy fucking independents doing backroom deals to grind their axes and eventually give Malc the balance of power.
Called it on Sun.

You've probably seen the pic her - I've posted it here and on Sup Forums before
>implying I'd go on a list to visit sideways8 chan.

news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/theyre-here-taylor-swift-and-tom-hiddleston-have-arrived-in-australia-on-way-to-gold-coast/news-story/22e8dda01bf03087f56ddecd2b8e0337

Lads, was this whole Dallas thing just a false flag to distract us from this?

>It'll be a hung parliament
Nah m8 the psephology blogs are all saying Libs will get 76 - 78.

Labor would need a miracle to keep them from getting a majority now.

Great, so all the bullshit that Labor did years ago which made it all so easy to shit on Labor, the libs are now doing,

Turnbull is a fucking faggot.

how fucking long does this take fucking australian efficiency lol

cant even count fast

>Labor would need a miracle to keep them from getting a majority now.
Not saying they will - hence hung parliament with the fucking indies guiding us all around by the nose...
You really think Hinch [for example] is gonna give LNp his vote?

>Wins

kek. Prepbull has basically Gillarded himself. He won't get shit done and he'll get knifed.

Hinch is in the senate m8.

You don't seem particularly well informed I have to say.

I don't mind bantering with dumb cunts though.

Yeah the real question is when will the Libs fuck turnbull off and get a real right wing leader?

The thing is Gillard DID get shit done and it was all that shit that destroyed her.

Libs actually do better when their agenda gets blocked.

It all fell apart for Howard when he won a senate majority and did shit like work choices.

It's almost like Turnbull is a slimy jew who is only in it for power

>young libs in turmoil
KEK

Mates there is a chance Sarah Hanson-Young could lose her senate seat.

She polled an absolutely abysmal number in SA. Just embarrassing.

>Not knowing how a bill is passed thru the 2 houses....

M8 it really doesn't matter what the house of reps ends up looking like - otherwise we wouldn't actually be in this situation any way, would we?
As it is well have more members crossing the floor anyway - can you imagine if they did a conscience vote on gay marriage for instance?

For someone calling me a dumb cunt, you ain't exactly leading the field, if ya know what I mean...

m8 I called you a dumb cunt but I said I didn't mind.

And you are a dumb cunt but that is okay.

The senate will be okay for Turnbull so long as he doesn't try to pass the more ideological Liberal items.

He will be able to get a majority with right win micros and centrists.

Who is that trouser arouser?

Nah cunt. Senate's fukt.

No m8, a majority is there for either side since NXT, Lambie and Hinch will hold the balance and are pragmatists.

Everything will be fine.

I am a bit disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm for this thread.

I am a bit lonely tonight.

aw sorry bro, good point: >but tfw J.L will never have the deciding vote to bring nuclear power to straya

Anna Chlumsky

kek, calling Lambie a pragmatist.

>tfw she does her back and claims benefits from parliamentary work....

every ones already over the election and has had enough of politicians and their bullshit

ehhh i don't think there's even enough australians to sustain a general even on Sup Forums and there's just not much to say until a concrete government is determined

Yeah well the loneliness gets to me sometimes mates.

I like a good Aussie shitpost thread on Sup Forums.

Does anyone here plan to join One Nation? I reckon the time is ripe to get in on the ground floor.

I can't join because I've written too much racist shit under my own name and it is all over the internet. I would just be a liability for them.

why is living here so fucking relaxing
> Europe is being overrun by niggers, rape and murder is increasing along with some leaders outright saying that they want the white european to end
> America is literally experiencing it's first moments of a race war, not to mention being being shot every fucking day

> meanwhile in Australia...Chao Lin is a bit rude, the cunt

We are behind the others, but heading in the same direction.

The same forces are on the boil here, in the background.

Well see ya in Q&A Bingo on Monday m80

>pic related: Derryn will be on board

I agree there

As someone who was born and raised in QLD, i will stand against the degenerate tides of the South East

Queensland is not immune. They are in your midst.

Yea, i've seen some of the younger generation's shit

I'm concerned but the world is changing and people are waking up, i hope that we're just slow enough not to have it infect our people fully

Sup m8s

>yfw Pauline wins 5 senate seats

I have little hope for the future.

But it is not impossible that we will save ourselves.

Stop posting those lewd and defamatory images m8.

Disrespectful to Queen Pauline.

I'd consider it

I'm wondering how much One Nation will pursue state politics now that they have a good foot in the door for federal politics?

Seems like most of their concerns are at the federal level.

I'd make passionate love to her

>I'm wondering how much One Nation will pursue state politics
With as much zeal as they do federal politics m8.

Pauline has promised to run candidates in every seat at the next Queensland state election.

Because big tone stopped the boats.

i actually agree with her, sick of comedians going out on rants rather than telling jokes

have you ever been in the aus threads on /r9k/?

Yeah, but I had to stop hanging out on r9k because it was bad for my depression. Miserable fucking place.

Half the Ausbots on there are chinks and they don't even have the decency to hide it like they do here on Sup Forums.

I need more Pauline memes

Only QLD

theres only one chink i know of on r9k. an user from burwood in sydney. we recently found out bingoanon is part chinese in the qanda thread.

We recently found out bingoanon CLAIMS she is part Chinese. Just like he/she CLAIMS he/she is female. I have been suspicious from the start.

They are always talking about using prostitutes on r9k and it makes me feel a bit icky.

>They are always talking about using prostitutes on r9k and it makes me feel a bit icky.

today in one thread there was an user bragging about torturing animals to death and enjoying it. icky is right.

I only ever torture myself, psychologically.

They are too hardcore for me over on r9k. I could feel them dragging me down so I had to let them go.

why do you go there m8?

Are you NEET?

I TRIED SO HARD

swear to god grey is going to give me a hernia.
>starts lnp majority at 56%
>swings NXT majority at 56%
>swings back lnp at 56%
>now at 52% lnp
Make up your minds Whyalla.
Barker as well.

Grey and Barker will be won by the Liberals. They are not in any danger.

AND GOT SO FAR

teach me cute australian words to use, please

so far i have collected:
smoko
ciggy butt brain
barbie
arvo
cunt

thank you

nah know that, just noting they're bouncing all over the joint when they don't usually do that shit.

To give someone a pash is to kiss them m8.

news.com covering the real issues

nic.. noice.

what are cute things to call somebody in australese ?

Poofter
youtube.com/watch?v=8PfDro1UGUo

LDP BTFO all you gun loving cucks can piss of and stop compromising Australia's safety for your small cock!

Explain what is going on in small words.
I'm in the middle of a bender and this shit is bascially alien words to me

A girlfriend can be called your "chicky-babe".

>tfw hung parliament

is anybody actually happy with this?

I'd rather a majority labor to this bullshit

>your small cock!
How did you know?

I would kill someone for an extra two inches m8.

"gave the sluzza a quick root behind the loo"

fuck major parties

poofter is a mean word isn't it :(
noted. and what cutesy name for a guy?
thank you

There isn't actually going to be a hung parliament.

Coalition will win a slim majority.

>and what cutesy name for a guy?
A husband can be your "hubby".

All the Labor and Greens voters on facebook have already forgotten about the election and are hooked on Pokemon Go

>tfw no australian hubby to enjoy a smoko with after a little barbie next to the beach in the arvo

Hung parliament means more entertainment for me and less likelihood of a major party fucking us up.

Mean words are sometimes nice, depends on who you are talking to, Hans. I could call my mates fuckwits with no hard feelings, but not some random old person on the street.

Context is everything in Australia

Got in last time on donkey vote. Have considerably raised their profile since. Maybe not this time, though they're still in the running for two seats against Pauline. Next election will be the real test

Sheila = Woman, usually used as a positive.
Slag = Slutty woman or a insult for women.
strewth = mating call of the late mighty Steve Irwin, king of straya
chockers = full, packed to the brim, densely smushed.
Grouse = Good, positive response to something, also used in sarcasm a fair bit
Yarn = story
All cock and ribs = very skinny.
Mank = bad

One thing that you cannot learn without experience though is our ability to instantly understand any euphemism on the spot since they vary from town to town.

Now tell me some of your german speak cunt

>Next election will be the real test
If they don't win any seats at this one they may as well not bother next time.

same here desu except I voted Coalition

I caught some mad ones today

>Steve Irwin
It still fucking hurts, user.

So it's literally Labor 2010 2.0: Liberal Edition right? 3 random wankers basically holding the balance of power.

Oh fun.

It's about time you move to Hahndorf, SA.

Isn't faggotry haram, Mohammed?

HOW MANY TIME DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS.

IT IS NOT A HUNG PARLIAMENT

LIBERAL WILL WIN A MAJORITY

Haha more like 5 wankers.

And with a hostile senate as well.

9news.com.au/national/2016/07/08/15/40/xenophon-apologises-to-australia-for-pyne

>xenophon apologised for teaching pyne at university,

the banter is real.

>Now tell me some of your german speak cunt
thank you
i will pick out some interesting german words

a very versatile word:
>geil
means at the sams time horny/aroused and awesome/great
>spacken/spacko
weird guy, creep, idiot. like a softer form of spast (spastic)
>asylant
means 'tanned lover'
>kippe
slang for cig/'ciggy'
related:
>nuttenstängel
thin cigarette, effeminate cigarette
literally 'a whore's thin stick'
>mische
lit. mix, something that is mixed
= alc

Pauline did it
All about media presence. If Liney can get coverage for his views on freedom, we can finally dismantle the nanny state. God bless

So instead of going and sorting themselves out with 3 wankers, they've made a prior agreement with those 3 wankers who are still way more likely to vote for their interests and ransom their co-operation for pet policies.

Yaaaay

>liberal wins
>year goes bye
>shit gets worse
>"Why exactly is shit getting worse?"
>"Okay well look. This is all labor's fault, ok?"

I can't wait. gonna be the toppest of keks to see the country go to hell and liberal votes are to blame.

i am a cis het able-bodied girl so no
[checking privilege]

Kinda defeats the purpose of the DD though.

>Throw a hissy fit DD because the senate were being mean to you
>Get an even worse senate and a hair thin majority in the lower house.
They're fucked in 3 years, shame it'll be labor that picks it up.

Fuckin Wordsworth mate.
Top shit.

I cant wait till they fuck up, Its an excuse for my liberal diehard parents to not be such cunts.

THE WANKERS ARE NOT INVOLVED

COALITION WILL GOVERN ON THEIR OWN

THE WANKERS WILL WANK IN THE CORNER IRRELEVANTLY

Stupid boomers reee

I offer you equivalents kraut-bro

Fair keen = Horny, ready for sum fuk
Derro = as in derranged, for creeps, weirdos and gross people
Fag/durry = cigarette, durry is used more, since fag is more synonymous with gays now.

>They're fucked in 3 years
Not necessarily.

This election looks a lot like the 1998 election, and Howard went on to win again in 2001 (and 2004).

Mate whisper in Bernardi's ear that it may pay dividends to stay with the LNP just a little bit longer.

The 98 election had the GST as the issue