ITT we write an episode of Mad Men. I'll start

"Today is your birthday Don" said Peggy. What are you going to do? Pete was listening at the door

>whaa whaa whaa being attractive is soooooo hard

Don unzips his dick while staring directly into peggys eyes.

Pete: Ugh, Don put that away! It's hardly the time for such shenanigans
Peggy: (lustfully) I-I thought you said you had r-rules, Don

Pete buys Don a Chip n Dip. Don is baffled.

Peggy: Y-you're a big guy Mr.Draper

Don: 4u

Don starts jerking off in the middle of the room and people are frightened by his behaviour, except Peggy who can't take her eyes from Don's rod.

Did Peggy peg Don?

Don gets on his desk like a man and spreads his ass cheeks while still keeping hold of his drink. "I need your fake cock now Peggy. God I am such a fucking faggot"

Betty auditions for a roll-on deodorant ad, the latest thing.

Yes with a BBC

How do you peg someone with an international broadcasting corporation?

In the board room

bazinga

Do you think Pete would fuck Don if he knew he wouldn't be judged for it ;_;

>don, my shoulders are sore

Pete would let Don fuck him. I don't think he can assert dominance.

Exposition in the first line of dialogue? What tangible reason does Pete have for listening at the door? Your first line already doesn't sound like a MM episode.

Suddenly, Roger Sterling enters the scene. He's staggering right towards the mini-bar, already shit-faced, one eye half-closed, slurring some unintelligible word fragments - arguably about his failure with Lucky Strike, Pete or... Vietnam... or all of that... Business as usual.

Pete strolls into his office and grabs his gun. "It's finally time to put an end to this"

lmfao this is 100% accurate

Paris Hilton approaches Don at the bar he's drinking at and asks if he can help her with something "out of this world".

Don does not pay her any attention until he has delightfully and slowly finished the last sip of his Old Fashioned. He then slowly turns to Paris, slightly squinting his eyes and raising his eyebrows. Right before he proceeds to open his mouth to formulate his response he slowly brings his cig to his mouth and takes an extensive puff. As his left mouth corner slightly begins to rise, cut. Episode over.

The year is 2018. In an apartment overlooking Manhattan an alarm goes off.
Patrick Bateman wakes up.

Pat's eyes are a little puffy from the cocaine party last night. So he decides to get a cooling pack from the fridge. The refrigerator is located next to Don Draper, taxidermied, whose dead body is still missing. Huey Lewis and the News is playing in the background.

Still feeling wrecked and finding no relief from the cold pack, Patrick bateman lays foen. And gors to sleep.

4 hours later his alarm goes off again. It's time for his weekly session with his psychotherapist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Those belong to his weekly highlights, given he gets along very well with his shrink. They have many mutual interests. It's Dr. Lecter who taught him how to stuff bodies; Don Draper used to be his patient, too.

Dr.Lecter gives Patrick Bateman a talk about the importance of sleep and mental health. Dr.Lecter hands Patrick somr sleeping pills. Downs them with some water. And then goes to sleep.

Towards evening, Pat wakes up again. He sits at a table... in his own apartment. Dr. Lecter enters the room and serves a tasty-smelling and steamy eleven-course-dinner featuring all kinds of culinary exquisite food. To fight his thirst Pat goes to the fridge to get some Evian. On his way back back to the table he notices, Don Draper's left leg is missing. In the background you can hear Dr. Lecters faint but clear voice whispering, part of our therapy is resolving your problems - one bite after another.

Patrick Bateman ponders the comment for a moment before ultimately shrugging it off. He joins Hannibal for dinner. What follows is several hours of spirited discussion of culture and politics paired with wine and Lecter's exotic cuisine. After the meal Patrick thanks him for his hospitality and wishes him a good night, then crawls into bed and goes to sleep.