You are the president of the USA

You are the president of the USA

You have been briefed extensively on The Thing and its capabilities.

You received word that it landed in Siberia approximately an hour ago.

How defeat it?

Was The Thing an allegory for jews?

I would nuke Siberia this second.

GAS ALL THINGS

SPECIES WAR NOW

No, it was an allegory for islam. They Live was the jew one.

bunker up, daily blood test, cleaning squads

Bathe the planet in nuclear hellfire

If it gets to the ocean theres not much anyone could do.

Could think of worse ways to go out. At least humanity will live on in a way.

this, unless it managed to assmilate a bird and get away this should take care of it. But if it did we're fucked

>President of USA
>Teh Ting is in Siberia
Not my problem.

It would try to conquer THE WORLD.

You mean how do we help it get to Moscow ASAP?

Well I'll get it after kills the Russians then.

Immediatly contact the Russian and Chinese governments along with the EU and do a joint strike on it.

Wait for Russians and Chinese to die and firebomb Russia and China

Save a vial of thing in case we can't get the ME under control

>Save a vial of thing in case we can't get the ME under control

It's like you've never watched a movie before

>capture it
>drop parts of it in every middle Eastern country and Germany, France and Sweden
>nuke all of them

Did putin slap your drupf's ass or something?

Call Russians and letting them know I am going to bomb it in one hour, if they don't do it themselves.

you're gonna need a lot of nukes to cover all of it and even then there's a chance you missed it or it's not vulnerable to radiation

Stop fishing for sequel ideas lazy fuck !

Send Amy Adams to talk to the thing

Maybe it just wants to fix its flying saucer and fly back to space.

I think nuclear war would be worse than a few killer aliens

Nukes. Hundreds of them. Honestly, it's the only hope humanity would have of surviving.

The US government would easily contain it and use its abilities for their benefit. Don't underestimate muh freedumz.

Wait for it to freeze and evacuate all nearby humans. Then capture it.

>Send in 4 squads of DEVGRU operators from each cardinal direction.
>Squads are armed with grenade launchers, flamethrowers, and HE airburst rocket launchers.
>24/7 drone coverage of each of the squads, with F-15E's armed with B83 nuclear bombs on standby.
>Order that any squadmate that deserts more than 50 meters away from their squad must be shot and/or burned.
>Any civilians they encounter en route to the target must be shot and/or burned.
>Once the Thing has been confirmed neutralized, order fighters to drop nukes anyway.
>We have to be sure.

By then it will be too late, all biological material must be destroyed.

Everyone here is forgetting all it needs is ONE FISH or BIRD and humanity is fucked

Pretty much.

This

Similar to a semetic religion

>a few
It's like you didn't even watch the movie

>Save a vial of thing in case we can't get the ME under control
The Thing 2

Context matters here. How is it that I have received this intel about this alien's abilities when it only landed all of an hour ago? Who is giving me this intel-the Russians on the ground, my own people, etc?

We must consider multiple cases. If somehow I knew before the Russians did about what this Thing really is (and it is really landing just now for the first time ever), then this implies some past American knowledge of the creature, meaning some of my own personnel (Americans), somewhere, are infected. This means that the State has to prepare a contingency for either killing its own, or for legitimately killing those things which have already killed our own, which pretense will not easily be swallowed by the populace, although certain of them are cultured to the idea of necessary killing via zombie culture.

If on the other hand the Russians are telling me this, then I take the thing with a flat of salt, both on the extraordinariness of the claim, and because it's Russia telling me so. I haven't seen the thing with my own eyes-or have I? My finger is near the button at all times, though I might shake up my muscle a bit, and directly order them to conduct themselves as a group a bit differently.

You have directly referenced a relevant story detail from the original short story. You are a good person for doing so.

>tfw this trope is literally, LITERALLY what happens at the end of 80s blob

been wanting to re-watch 80s blob for a while. Flick has the balls to kill a kid, horribly.

You can't put boots on the ground, the thing has shown an ability to self-preserve and assimilate in secret before, any asset sent into the zone is dead-man-walking

Remove Serbia because I'm an American.

you mean poor white trash like ur mom

Why would I try to eliminate the one real option for world peace and unity?

Build the wall to stop illegal things from getting into my country

Damn, 80s Blob was way edgier than 50s Blob

Because that's communist

looking back, I'm realizing that Frank Darabont has a kill-kids/traumatize kids thread in his works. I really don't know Stephen King all that well but I gather that King has zero problem with killing kids either (the shining, It)

>co-writes the blob remake, kid dies horribly
>directs The Mist, kid is killed at the end
>Walking Dead, kid is traumatized just by living through all this even though I long since bored of the show and haven't watched any since the first season or so

Humans don't take up a lot of the surface of the Earth, there's a lot of shit we don't know about. It's possible something like this already happened but it's top secret.