/nfl/ general - DARKEST TIMELINE edition

GB: Aaron Jones injures knee, return questionable
OAK: Report: Del Rio '50-50' to keep Raiders job
IND: Hilton has first 100-yard day in six weeks
BAL: Ravens outlast Colts in eyesore of a game
GB: Damarious Randall, Matthews inactive for Pack
DEN: Sanders, Cody Latimer declared out for Denver
NO: Michael Thomas late addition to injury report
OAK: Amari Cooper expected to return Monday night
BAL: Jeremy Maclin (knee) inactive for Week 16
FA: Steelers cut ties with OLB James Harrison
LAC: Antonio Gates to 'get more opportunities'
DEN: 'All signs point' to Osweiler starting Sunday

JIMMY

First for Carina Wentz

what?

fpbp

Case Keenum fucked my bitch

based

>tripfag pretending that he's ever touched a woman not related to him
L-O-L

Bert Favor

PUNISHED

...

Meh.

He got a sex change when he his acl surgery

Name 5 white cornerbacks

simply cannot tbqhwymf

All rosters are disbanded, 32 teams participate in a 53 round draft featuring all current NFL players, your team is first on the board.

Roger Goodell walks out to a chorus of boos:

WITH THE FIRST PICK OF THE 2018 NFL DRAFT THE ____________ SELECT......

Carson Wentz

...

CLEVELAND BROWNS SELECT JOHNNY MANZIEL

YES, THEY'RE PICKING HIM AGAIN FOLKS

any answer other than rodgers is incorrect.

Yeah only choice desu

police12shoe.jpeg

BALTIMORE RAVENS SELECT TODD GURLEY

>no Sunday night game tomorrow

Well, that's... something.

FUCK OFF YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM

lady goff makes my weiner feel funny

lol wow Ravens

DALLAS COWBOYS SELECT SACK PICKSCOTT

No srsly we swear he isn't a game manager!

they doubted us and will continue until it's too late

DESU Antonio Brown, Carson Wentz, or Jalen Ramsey go #1

top right or bottom left? I like how top right can look me in the eye but bottom left is a wildcard and that's underrated

Jay Cutler!!!

Por que no los dos?

top right has that semen demon look in her eye

Will the Bears beat the Browns? I mean, they can't be that bad.

I'm sure barely beating the Colts will put an end to all that schedule babby talk.

aaron rodgers

Tyreek Hill's dad just died players are guaranteed 250yds 3 TDs when they play after that RIP dolphins (and Mr. Hill.)

getting into the playoffs will do enough to satisfy me. this team is utter dogshit and still could get to the divisional round lel

Probably beat him to death. smdh

Yeah. Hey you beat the teams you needed to beat I guess. Pats - Raves is usually fun if it could get to that.

brett hundley is a lot like aaron rodgers but without the vision, talent, or accuracy

LOVE IS A STRONG WORD, BUT I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE WOMEN

you forgot white skin and homosexual magic

...

oh or recognition. He doesn't have that either

Too old Wentz is the only smart pick, though Jimmy is the sexiest one.

Joe Haden is mixed, right?

Who will win this game?

Dolphins will meme it out

No one. will be a tie.

Don't encourage him, please.

>implying jay cutler throwing 6 touchdowns vs that shit secondary isn't a foregone conclusion
wew

Please let >Miami win

Cutler will use up the last of his meme magic to buttblast the Chiefs

Catb owl

Jay Cutler will win against the Chiefs!

The Chiefs

>Penalize group celebrations for years, fining and suspending players for excessive celebration which isn't influencing the game itself at all
>Ratings go down
>Immediately turn face and encourage group celebrations while advertising the fuck out of how FUN it is

God I hate the NFL

I'm supposed to root for the dolphins as a bills fan for some reason but i don't know why and don't want to.

The Kansas City Chiefs will win out and make the divisional round after assblasting the Ravens. They will then pull something out of their ass in the divisional round and eke out a win against Rapist Burger. They will then lose in the AFC championship game to the Buffalo Bills, who will go on to win the Super Bowl off of a wide right missed FG from the Vikings.

It's annoying how reactionary the NFL is to fans and the media and how see-through it is. Like giving JuJu and that Bengal unwarranted suspensions because everyone was mad Gronk didn't get enough. Or the Ray Rice thing.

They'll probably change the catch rule after this year and add some bullshit targeting rule.

They always over-correct when all people really want is some fucking consistency.

Think of the sports bullshit from the past two years:
Cubs in the WS
Vegas gets hockey
Astros win da WS

.... these were impossible not too long ago. Either the Eagles or the Jags winning the Owl this year is inevitable.

*teleports behind your shit secondary*
pshhh nothin personnel, kid

>add some bullshit targeting rule
If this happens, NFL as we know it is dead. It's been implemented so fucking poorly in college

>barely fucking beating the fucking Colts

post your favorite running back currently in the league

...

I'd drink a Sam Adams from that asshole

wrong pic so sorry, so sorry

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Outside of homer pick, yeah Gurley. I saw an interview with him he seemed cool.

>losing to more than 3 (three) sub-.500 teams

Most of my /nfl/ .webms got deleted. Can someone dump some dragons for me?

only correct answer, but I have to say Alex Collins because I'm a homer

Sounds delicious.

Yeah he's funny a shit. Dude always makes jokes in interviews. I was worried >we would ruin the career of an amazing player who's funny and seems like a great guy. So glad to see him genuinely having fun this season

...

...

*god-tier offense drops 500 combined yards on your special ed defense*

Alright I'm binging gurley videos now and did a quick search to see who was taken before him
>Kevin White this season: 21 catches 193 yards, 0 touchdowns in his career
>Todd Gurley: 180 total yards, 4 touchdowns last week
also pantsfags, how has shaq thompson been? he was fantastic in college

>this is what meth addicts actually believe
Do you feel in charge?

...

Thanks mate

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I'll stick to good old black tar heroin, thank you very much

Only have a few webms. Could've sworn I had the Seahawks one, though.

Did you lose your fucked up michael thomas webms?

>tfw Bobby Wagner has scored more points this season than all of the Hawks' running backs have combined

Alright, Sup Forums. Goodell and all the other NFL execs have died in a horrific plane crash, and YOU are the new commissioner! Your first priority is to create 5 expansion teams, each in a different city. Which cities do you pick, and why aren't they in Canada?

I had like almost 30 webms of dragons but they all got deleted

I honestly don't remember if I saved that one or not but I definitely don't have it now

is there anything more comfy than seeing epic blitz pickups allowing dragons to happen

>green bay exposed as having the most horrible coaching staff in the league
cowboys, packers lose one star player and they completely collapse from playoff locks to shut out gimp teams unable to compensate

fuck em both.

I resign as I have never even held a single job before and I live on neet bux because I have a destroyed back. I dont wanna lose my neet buxs for life.

post meme plays that actually worked

I wouldnt want to interfere with the CFL
Its a solid league for players who cant cut it in the NFL. Thats jobs and will keep people wanting to play their best to be in the NFL.

Also I wouldnt do 5
37 teams? Absolute JUST scheduling

4 teams. Likely all international. Neither NFC nor AFC. The winner of the division beats out the team with the worst schedule in either conference where the team's divisional winner has already been decided. Any other teams in the divison with a winning record record may do the same for the opposite conference but at least one has to make the playoffs.

1. London - Pretty much its an already established potential future expansion location
2. Berlin - Local football leagues show american football has a legitimate following and thus could be a potential cash cow
3. Mexico City- See London
4. Dubai- See Berlin with emphasis on the "cash cow"

If I had to pick a fifth then somewhere near the Mediterranean, Italy or Spain.

Probably Wentz. He has the most value at the moment. All of the current HOF quarterbacks are either about to retire or only have about 3-4 years left. Brady, Eli, Rivers, Rapistburger, will all be gone in 1-2 years.

...

>mfw players start doing NBA-style teamstacking and Deandre Hopkins leaves the Texans to go play alongside Allen Robinson
>mfw he's now on the same team as the only guy in the league that can stop him in Jalen Ramsey
>mfw the Superb Owl becomes the annual Jaguars Championship Series and the Jags become the Bad Guys

You either die a hero...

How much do you think you guys get for Earl Thomas? A second and a third?