Christians believe this

>christians believe this

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not necessarily

So some Christians don't believe in the Bible? or where's the loophole lie here in the Noah's Ark story that allow some people to apply it to the real world?.

gtfo fedora

they pick and choose the parts that agree with their feelings

Christians believe a lot of stupid shit

news at 11

I believe it. And you can say nothing to he contrary.

Atheists believe in far dumber things, like fag rights, democracy, gender equality, etc, and even think they have a right to criticize religious people for not believing in that bullshit

I will take my fairy tales with a solid moral message over faggy liberalism any day of the week

I;m sure some would say its not important if it happened or not but its important to learn the lessons from the telling of it. or something idk.

who cleans the shit out of that thing?

They don't take it that fucking literally and actually focus more on "what God intended for this event to mean in the divine plan of salvation" rather than "floating zoo."

Protestants tend to only focus on the floating zoo part.

I can say that you're gullible.

>It was written in a book
>IT MUST BE TRUE

That's literally your logic

I believe in something more along the lines of this. Bronze age writers wouldn't know how to describe a spaceship and DNA stores of all known life forms, so they settled with an ark with built by an old guy that liked to get drunk on wine.

Old testament is jewish bullshit
New testament is what Christians believe in

Atheists like creationists exhibit a lack of understanding what a metaphor and allegory are and how to detect them.

I swear that story was made by jews to make christians look crazy.

>believing in a voting system by the people is dumber than believing a guy built a boathouse big enough to fit two of EVERY ANIMAL to live on and manage to actually GET two of every single animal (male/female no less) to live together without killing each other in a single lifetime.

>blacks believe this

>CHRISTIIANS BTFO FUCKING MORONS
>Quotes Old Testament

No my logic is that it is scientifically possible to build a boat that is capable of holding two of every species on this planet.

More viable than some things that fundamentalists believe.

This story is most likely based of local myths from around mesopotamia, since they also have a myth about a flood and preserving life, as well as a huge flood actually happening.

>They don't take it that fucking literally

How do they take it?. So is it a fairytale even within the Bible or is it supposed to have really happened in the Bible?. I thought it the Bible said it actually happened. I was mistaken this entire time.

>I dont believe in that but I believe in SciFi

Shit like this is why I keep on coming back to Sup Forums

Damn atheists, bullying the church into believing their bullshit lies about evolution

>collecting animals in cages is hard
maybe the lions yes, but you have to know God was with him tho

>failing to interpret things on your own

I swear to god Fedorafags have many things in common with creationists.

How is this allegory? God said this is what happened when man turned from God after creation. He flooded the earth and saved two of every creature and seven of every clean creature. He let these saved creatures repopulate the earth.

If you fedoras think this is allegory, next you're going to tell me that Jesus dying and being resurrected three days later is allegory too.

God created the universe in seven days. God is all powerful and all knowing. There is nothing he cannot do.

>holding two of every species on this planet.

And capable of holding enough food to feed all these animals?

And have a way to dispose waste to keep animals alive?

And run this massive massive ship with JUST EIGHT FUCKING PEOPLE ONBOARD?

Get the fuck outta here with that shit

I like the Atrahasis better. It's the prequel to the Gilgamesh epos.

>Atheists believe in far dumber things, like fag rights, democracy, gender equality, etc

Are you implying that the majority of Christians don't believe in that shit as well?

>Believing in the miracles of Jesus

lol

It's still possible. The floods only happened for 40 days and 40 nights.

>>>exposing your power level that hard that early

People lived longer back then according to the bible.

Well Sumerians believed it first. Then the jews loved the story so much they used it too. Then when the greeks wrote the Septuagint (Christian bible) and invented christianity they kept it too.

The ship would break apart.

>there are actual religious people here
hahahahahaha
I really thought it was a joke but these people are serious

thank you for letting me take care of my wifes son, God!

>failing to interpret on your own

>needing a preacher

How can religious people manage to BTFO of themselves so badly.

Are they retarded or just brainwashed? or both?

Nope. Not with German engineering ;)

Then why did Jesus come in the first place.

Athiests believe there are 20+ genders and also believe that if a woman chops off her penis she suddenly become a man.

can he create a god twice as powerful as himself?

Noah wasn't a shipwright, actual shipwrights have made ships as large as the alleged ark and they don't fare well against anything that isn't a mild wind.

You are failing to see the forest from the trees.

The message behind this is that god choose to smite those who insulted him, but that he did preserve the innocent. Animals and Noah.

We know, as many schoolars do that said fragment is based of a Sumeriaianstory based on a real life huge flood.

More over since this is old testament it's not necessary to be taken with high importance.

So is THIS PART real?. Or when religious people actually said to me in the past "people lived a couple hundred years to me" they were just making it a point leaving me to interpret that somehow?. Shit. Can someone religious here point to the stuff in the Bible that is SUPPOSED TO HAVE HAPPENED?. Is ANY of it supposed to be real?. Or is it all just made up stories to teach lessons like Aesop's fables?. Goddamn. The entire time I thought people took it seriously and literally.

It had the blessings of god. What more can I say?

BECAUSE the old testament was bullshit.

For the same reason Islam happened, because it's incredibly easy to claim something's flawed and then "correct" it.

Why doesn't God bless things anymore so they can break the laws of physics?

> not understanding tbe purpose of a preist

You really are alike

Because so many lack faith.

this guy is too smart

>More over since this is old testament it's not necessary to be taken with high importance.

>mfw when the next testament comes out the current testament will be scrapped.

>taking Genesis literally
>ever
Daily reminder that Origen knew what's up.

explain why miracles are impossible

2 Peter 3
3First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. 4“Where is the promise of His coming?” they will ask. “Ever since our fathers fell asleep, everything continues as it has from the beginning of creation.”…

Do you have a source for this claim other than your own bunghole?

And? Imagine trying to feed 2 cheetahs, two baboons, two gorillas, two lions, two siberian tigers, two wolves, two dingoes, two hippos, two mongoose, two polars bears, two grizzly bears, two black bears, two of every fucking species of carnivore, for 40 days.

Do you know how much meat you would have to bring onboard your ship? You realize how fast meat spoils, right? There's literally no possible way they could have brought enough food to feed these animal, and avoided having the food rot.

Unfortunately that source requires faith. I'm not god so I don't make the rules.

Animals can go a long time without having to eat if they are well fed.

>telling me I don't understand

>not explaining it

You sound religious. Most religious people I've seen discuss with eachother argue and shit throwing passages at eachother as if the more passages and hours you've wasted praying earn you more badges in the church you attend.

This explains why you have an insistence on KNOWING what you know but not sharing. You do it for your own fullfillment and that's IT.

So to clarify the source is your bunghole.

viewzone.com/noahx.html

You were saying?

>a guy built a boathouse big enough to fit two of EVERY ANIMAL to live on and manage to actually GET two of every single animal (male/female no less) to live together without killing each other in a single lifetime.

>Does the bible mention the age of the animals?
>what if Noah only got babies of those animals >only have to survive 40 days on said ship
wew lad

this is true

No, the source is written in the stars.

>God's word is not important

Just leave you apostate heathen. The Bible was divinely inspired by the Lord. It is His direct message to the Jews and Gentiles on Earth. We cannot understand the new testament without understanding the TRUTH in the old testament. Sumerians knew of the flood because it is a historical fact. That is like asking why the old testament mentions Nebuchadnezzar when other sources mention him too. He was a historical person who God used to bring justice the Jews.


>"Don't misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose. -- Matthew 5:17

ayyyyy lmao

> not realizing scifi embeds a lot of secrets about our past and future as a species.

Yeah, because there are no signs whatsoever that there was an advanced ancient civilization and/or extraterrestrial contact and humans were like an experiment that must have been protected from a major catastrophe.

According to Sumerians, lord Enki sided with humanity and Enlil sided with the gods when the gods learned that a flood was imminent. Many calamities have happened in recorded history. The flood story is retold in similar myths like Pandora's Box, and the Hebrew Bible account. It refers to something that happened long ago in a lost age, and started what we currently know as humanity.

The myths all refer to the break between the age of the gods (the golden age) where people were living extended lifespans, and dwelt amongst the gods, and the age of man, when the time was set for man to live at most 120 years. They are usually placed in a far distant age - perhaps 10s of thousands of years ago, but the Judeo-Christians are presumptuous to think the earth is only 7000 years old and Noah lived at a well placed year in a concrete Biblical timeline of history.

Archaeology and older myths make this account very hard to believe. It's much easier to say that their recollection of past events was lost due to imperfect recording techniques and a shitload of bronze and iron age wars. The Biblical "history" also serves the purpose of backing up the Hebrew "chosen race" narrative, so it would have to be different than the pagan traditions. Their god is so much more superior to any other, so it would follow that their traditions would have to be equally as extraordinary. "Wow, your god only took 7 days to build this earth, he's pretty badass".

>what if Noah only got babies of those animals >only have to survive 40 days on said ship

OK, so now you're saying he may have had to go TAKE two what? fetuses? newborns? infants? and take them all there?.

How do you get an infant ant? or worm?

I mean, The problem is that I can't help but overthink this, and that's why I guess I am an athiest.

Religious folks like the "sure, sounds about right, I'll leave it at that" approach.

So Noah also milked female cheetahs, tigers, wolves, bears, etc?

And somehow kept these neatly organized thousands of gallons of various unpasteurized animal milks from spoiling for 40 days?

It's different than you might think.
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REMINDER:
Two animals are not enough to start a population mate.

Thats also why Adam and Eve are total bullshit.
Like your whole cucked religion.

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN THE BIBLE IS FACT!

STAY MAD HUEY!

Have you ever seen a person grow a severed limb back? Has it ever been documented?

That's like saying that christians believe that if you eat shrimp you'll go to hell...
Not every christian believes that.

>it was aliens
Well, at least aliens are much more probably than a god.

>make outrageous and fantastic claims
>throw a "there'll be people who won't believe those claims" prophecy in there
>prophecy inevitably happens
>s-see? this means that those outrageous and fantastic claims must be true!

>Two animals are not enough to start a population mate.

Another good point, just like even two humans. I've heard from religious people that back then it was ok to fuck brothers and sisters and 1st cousins and shit. Then eventually (never explained) this became wrong.

People like you need to understand that aliens are not real. They are angels or demons.

Yeah like most people that's where I started reading and just couldn't even finish the first chapter. Today, the church can't just say that people didn't have a fucking clue why seashells were half way up mountainsides back then. noooooo! What could would that do them? Seriously, they need to treat Abrahamic childhood indoctrinations as child abuse or this world will never get any better.

They had pure genetics that could withstand inbreeding depression.

>pure genetics

literally what

I haven't and I don't know if it has been documented, but how does that prove that miracles are not possible?

If you read the New Testament, you would know Jesus believed in the Old Testament stories like Jonah in the belly of a "whale" and many of Isaiah's prophesies.

People like you need to understand that angels and demons are not real. They are aliens.

This

Ezekiel 23:20 proves that Egyptians were blacks.

The Bible wouldn't lie.

God took part in that
I bet you don't even believe in magic.
I bet you also believe' time' and 'cause and effect' exist, which is logically dumb if you can perceive everything all at once.
The main thing about the bible is we know it's not all right, it's been corrupted and added to by men, so you are meant to have faith.
Did you know there are 'poetry' sections in the bible?
Even fucking Jesus himself talked in parables at times, actully most of the time
"I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter what has been hidden since the foundation of the world." (Matthew 13:35)
> Jesus himself talked in parables

When one thinks alien, they are not thinking about Christ. This I believe is another part of the Jewish agenda to get people to drift away from Christ.

> Jesus himself talked in parables
Hear is a pretty simple one, but there are really weird ones:
And when a great crowd came together and people from town after town came to him, he said in a parable: 5 "A sower went out to sow his seed; and as he sowed, some fell along the path, and was trodden under foot, and the birds of the air devoured it. 6 And some fell on the rock; and as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. 7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns grew with it and choked it. 8 And some fell into good soil and grew, and yielded a hundredfold." As he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." 9 And when his disciples asked him what this parable meant, 10 he said, "To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of God; but for others they are in parables, so that seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand. 11 Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. 12 The ones along the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, that they may not believe and be saved. 13 And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy; but these have no root, they believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away. 14 And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.

>God took part in that

Explain this part?

>inb4 I didn't mean it literally.

>says findland
the only 2 countries i dont take seriously about religion
finland and russia

REMINDER:
Christianity is Cuck™: the Religion.

Jesus literally said: "Do not resist evil men".
He says "love thy enemy"

It is even worst then if you kill your enemies they win.

Why?

>You will never live to see that God is real and he's so sick of the degeneracy he decides on another flood and he chooses you and your waifu as the only 2 humans to repopulate after with your animal bros

Exactly. He's an ancient version of Justin Trudeau, but with a beard

Usually "thing happened, here's how they recorded it, but this is what God's point was."

I believe it happened, but at a VERY small and local scale. Because to Noah, the Levant WAS the entire world. He could never have fathomed the Korean Peninsula or the Falkland Islands being a thing.

you two are always so mad with Christ

>How do you get an infant ant? or worm?

>So because I was addressing the problem of size of things like giraffes or dinosaurs and I in reply said age difference you turn it around and claim that I meant that to be even things like ants or worms

>This is also assuming he has technology to store insects, or assuming said insects need to be protected and couldn't have comeback from a flood

>Saying that he brought 2 of every bug when bugs are not mentioned is like saying he brought 2 of every fish.

go fuck yourself

>I mean, The problem is that I can't help but overthink this, and that's why I guess I am an athiest. Religious folks like the "sure, sounds about right, I'll leave it at that" approach.
>I'm 28 btw
>implying I haven't given this actual thought
again go fuck yourself

>neckbeard starts browsing an anime board addictively
>hears that atheism is becoming popular in distant places he'll never go to or have any connection with
>starts to believe this online community is more real than the community around him in real life
>becomes Christian to be contrary to online community and artificially feel more moral than everyone around him
>still an unlikable friendless autistic manchild in real life further pushing everyone away from him