If you were a professional fútbol player, what position would you play?

If you were a professional fútbol player, what position would you play?

yes

the raumdeuter-false 9-trequartista hybrid role

CAM faggots need not apply btw

>Elite choice, my friend

midfield enforcer, manage to play 85 minutes yellowcarded

sweeper keeper

right footed inverted false attacking LWB

diego perez is that you?

CDM

>6' chad body type
>controls the game at all times
>stops other teams attacks before they start
>team leader and on field coach
>most vocal on the field
>gets most touches in a game and therefore most TV time
>scores occasional bangers from 30 yards out
>gets more pussy than little manlet strikers

that's me.

i'm 6'7 clumsy slow and skinny fat

so idk

box-to-box midfielder who would disappear every once in a while because i am not fit enough

>libero

How are the reflex's? You sound like the perfect keeper.

False 3.

Chad midfielder

Ive fucked her miltiple times

box to box midfielder

>inb4 fedora.exe

The Gattuso role

Inverted false sweeper keeper

Right back or holding mid. I'm fast and athletic, good at defending and positioning, but I've never had a lot of skill dribbling the ball.

CB with some cheeky corner headers

I'd be a right winger, because I'm not cucked

i was great at destroying attacking plays from the opposition and quite aggressive too
sometimes i would score some free-kicks and make some sweet assists for the pacy members of the team
it's like gattuso and pirlo had a manlet, aspie baby

yaya touré-type midfielder that inevitably gets moved back into defense despite being shit at it

When I played as a kid, I was pretty good at defending despite being a manlet. Although I imagine that's only because everyone I was playing against was shit, I probably wouldn't make it at professional level.

Liverpool's keeper

That guy who gets the ball and runs as fast as possible in a straight line and hoofs an inaccurate cross

doggystyle

you could be a United wingback. Would you be willing to join us for $130,000 per week?

I like you.

literally me

Being tall makes you a good keeper? I'm 6'8" and I have pretty good reflexes

>Being tall makes you a good keeper?
it's not 1:1, at a certain height you're too ungainly and get beaten too easily by shots along the ground. but elite keepers under 6'2 are very uncommon and most are 6'4+

Well, I've always thought that for someone at my height, I'm pretty coordinated. I've got good balance and all that.

left-sided, right-footed attacking mid here la

manlet, agile and good vision, likes to cut inside

Cdm, plays like a third back out of possession

Are you black?

No, I'm white.

Ok. Lucky. You could be a keeper than.

none of you were good

I'd consider myself a regista, and at times when needed I would be the enganche.

no that means he sucks white americans are shit as athletes and have to rely on their sport iq

Missionary

Would it help if I said I'm partially Spanish from my dad?

>implying that keeper isn't the most intelligent position on the field

RB

>white americans

Too much of a pussy to even respond to her huh

Costel Pantilimon, is that you?

I see the perro, but where's the caca?

NO PERRO CACA

Power bottom

Right back/middle, set piece specialist. Primarily a passer, occasional blooter. Lack in speed and header skills.

Here

right back

Sexy Sportsbra's

I wish this was true

Strikers get paid the most so I would be a striker.

right winger or wing back that can't cross but is fast and can dribble

probably CDM or RB

Central mid or defensive mid.

12th man ;)

>fat
>manlet
>deceptively fast, but bad stamina
>great shot and pass
idk. when we did 5 aside in elementary/middle school, i was mostly defensive mid, since I could distribute the ball well

rooney was my idol growing up 2bh. he was chubby so he gave me hope that i could make it

RB manlet, ok at defending, bad at attacking. I'd be Cedric Soares

Hips and tummies > ass and tits

the benchwarmer aka Feo Walflop

I'd be a fox in her box if you know what I mean

I wish this was trueA real poacher of giurls

Pacey goalie

False trequarkeeper sweepertista

Inverse autista amazingly good at bicycle kicks

Was only ever good as destroyer.
Loved two footed tackling flopping bastards.

>what position would you play?
hers

I would do what I do IRL, literally Giroud's role in the French NT. Or goalkeeper in a shitty team, because you get so more playtime than behind a good defence

third striker

Offensive Centreback
I was very quick as a boy and had stamina

Right winger. Back in school my gimmick was that my crossing/long-passing was pinpoint and my best foot is the right one so that's the position I guess.

lazy-ass deep-passing midfielder à la pirlo/late beckham

I'd be the false number 1

>false 3
>posts a CM

What is the name of this woman

Bitchslapping the coach?

whatever gets me a fit qt like the one OP posted

CAM since I already play it for my local team

Left striker

Doggy

>not being a poacher and just standing in the box for 90 minutes while waiting for those tap-ins

For most of us, it's reserve keeper.

...okay

TARGET MAN
A
R
G
E
T

M
A
N

Wing Sweeper

Elite striker

Right bench.

yes

Spoopy skelly guy

RW. I'm memefast and have a really good right footer, but I'm retarded using my left foot.

>Fast manlet who used to play defence with decent control

Winger

I was left wing (playmaker on wing role) and CM. Sometimes I was forced to play CF, but I wasn't good, since my headers are rubbish

strenghts:
- vision
- shots
- passes
- off the ball

weaknesses:
- had only average speed, not your Salah type winger
- Defence

>reserve
Speak for yourself
>play midfield since school team was left foot deficient, always wanted to just play goalie but two coaches wouldn't let me
>if a game went to penalties they'd put me in at goalie
>visiting school coach got super mad once and accused us of an illegal substitution / cheating
Read the rulebook scrub.