User, I gave you a 1200 calorie diet, but you haven't been sticking to it, what is your excuse?

>user, I gave you a 1200 calorie diet, but you haven't been sticking to it, what is your excuse?

but its FRIED

It doesn't count if it comes wrapped in plastic.

1200? Jesus

>You didn't do well on 1200 calories
>I put you on 800

genetics.

Because I'm not a fat fuck like you doc. 1000 calories zero carbs is the only way.

Mate, I'm 6'2" and 320 lbs if my fuckin yankspeak is correct. 1200 calories? Are you fucking MAD, cunt?

our caruhh broke daywn and we couldn't afford the currek proseeejurs to repairuhh eet, so we haywd to ordurh take een

I eat 3000 calories per day yet I still weigh 75kg.
Blow me faggot.
inb4 clogged arteries

You didn't specify how many 1200 calorie diets I could eat a day doc. Checkmate.

Announcing you are Australian is like saying you are a girl on the internet. It's Australian hours you fat fuck, you are making us sound like cartoons

Too many enabler in this thread

hating carbs is a meme

You takin the piss, cunt?

going on a mcdonalds run, lads. Want anything?

aayyyy shitcunts who's in the mood for some mad bantzzzz!!!! Fucken' spoidas on my keyboard abos sniffing petrol in my driveway cuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcunt

It was the Jews. They want to keep me fat and home bound to keep me from spreading my superior genes

>tfw general anxiety triggered by hypochondria
>bought a blood glucose meter to test sugar levels when feeling anxious
>always within range
>feel sick this morning
>think low blood sugar
>test
>actually 97 for fasting level
>borderline prediabetes
>freak out
>mfw stress increase blood sugar levels
>can't sleep more than 5 hours a night
>6', 155 lbs
>how are these fat fucks even alive while I'm in this state

How the fuck am I supposed to bulk on a 1200 calorie diet?

Actually those levels can be deceiving. Have you checked your urine glucose levels? You can get test strips from a pharmacist

>March
>bulking

hold on

is it

winter= bulk
spring= cut
summer= maintenance
fall=pre bulk

Because I'm not fat and physically active, I need more calories.

What the fucks wrong with you cunt? I bet you are that weird guy at gathos that only goes because his mates feel sorry for him.

Mcchicken, no buns.

Nah, I'm paying for all this out of pocket since i actually don't have anything wrong with me. I had an H1b..whatever it's called test a year or 2 ago and it was fine.

Add an O to every word why don't you. Might substitute for a personalty.

20 hashbrowns and a mcdrink

>no s

Nice attention to detail user.

It doesn't work if you don't tell him how to spend his free time like minecraft or some crack shit like that

I am 6'2, 350 pounds right now.

I'd love to lose weight, but I have no personal pool to swim in.

Aerobic exercises will DESTROY my knees and joints so I don't want to do them.

Diet is not enough. You have to combine Diet + Exercise..... and the only exercise I am really motivated to do is swimming.... no stress on joints and it's fun...... but I don't have a pool.

At 350 pound, diet will do wonders, you just actually have to stick to it. Find a cheap gym with a pool. Buy some free weights for your home.

fill up your tub and drown in it.

I used to be your size, try weights. You are probably strong as hell. Also eat a lot of steak and salads.

Diet is enough. If you must exercise then do what the fat fucks do and wave dumbbells around in the air

>Diet is not enough.

>living in worst hemisphere

1200 calories is pretty low even if you're a normal weight and trying to cut

Most of these fat fucks would probably lose weight if they are only 4000 calories, they're that far gone

>Diet is not enough
Wrong, fatty

I fasted three days just for fun and lost 8 pounds. Look up Dr fung if you think it's unhealthy.

calories not kilojoules you fucking retard

Wasn't james eating more than 10000 goddamn calories. 4000 would be less than half that and its still morbidly obese eating

>Diet is not enough.

Yeah mate, I'm talkin abou calories ey. Ya gotta multiply that by 4.2 to get kilojoules, and 1200 fuckin calories aint enough

What are you talking about

>My body needed to readjust
that was the most american thing he said

>Diet is not enough.
I agree. Fuck physics, fuck biology and FUCK FAT SHAMERS!!

Good bait, desu senpai.

Do you know that when you eat that much your metabolism actually goes into high gear. It explains why they are not a million pounds, as 1 pound of body fat is only 3500 calories total

ow mah legs

That looks like some Hannibal shit right there

awful bait

awful board

So it slows down if you eat less? Or how does that work

Ez game ez life

I don't have autism so it's hard to keep track of all the calories I eat

user, I used an online calculator to determine how many calories your body burns a day.
You burn 3821 calories a day doing nothing. There are 3500 calories in a pound of fat. So even if you eat 2000 calories a day, you'll still lose half a pound a day.

kys fat shamer. it's a genetic condition

Must be tough being such a high flying executive. Being fat requires less arthmatic I guess

Yes down's syndrome

Diet on its own does nothing. You need exercise and muscle massages to go with it. Why do you think celbs can lose weight so easily while the average folk can't? I'm not fat because of what I eat, I'm fat because I don't have access to what I need to lose weight.

What like legs? You don't have to run. You are just lazy

I'm to intelligent for running

yeah grab me an apple pie and med fries

Running is impossible for me. My knees will be beyond fucked.

It is too* you mongoloid. When you have something in excess, it's too

>It is too* you mongoloid.
do you not know the meme? is reddit here again

>I don't have access to what I need to lose weight.
hello user, im an executive producer on the show "My 600 lb life" and we are always looking for delusional fat assholes
you seem perfect for our show, email me if you are intersted

you can either run 2 miles, burn 200 calories. Or simply don't eat that doughnut.

I don't eat doughnuts.

>6'2" and 320 lbs
For reference, Brock Lesnar is 6'3" and 265 lbs.
It's time for a diet, senpai.

Diet is enough you fat sack of shit. You're just making excuses like this people in this show. You want to lose weight but you don't want to put in the effort. Kill yourself.

Didn't say running did I? But of course you know that. All you want to hear is that there is nothing to be done.

I packed on like 40 pounds since I've become a NEET. From 150 to like 187. How to loose weight the fastest? Calorie restriction and cardio?

I took a cock to the knee so I can't lose weight

Email sent you hook nosed swindler

Yep

>Sup Forums is now full of normies that obsess over fashion, weight, height and other normie garbage

thanks Sup Forums

Yes the non-specific moron meme. How could I forget

Ya you're a fucking retard.

Not wanting to be obese and making fun or retarded fatties isn't obsessing over weight.

Goot should just shut this shit hole down already.

Just fuck off to Wizardchan. Sup Forums is ours now.

How else am I going to look good in my camo outfits? I've started wearing them to Arby's and the ladies can't stop looking at me

I dunno I quite like not being 600 pounds. Didn't know I was so pretentious

>fattie screaming MUH LEGS in the hallway
>army of EMTs arguing over where to put this mudhole of a human being
>family in tears at the travesty that is James
>Dr calmly walks in "Hello how y'all doin?"

Just start controlling your portions, and go down to a sensible level of food. I cut about 1000 meaningless calories a day from snacks and oversized meals, I feel fine and I've lost 10 pounds so far on a target of 30.

The faster you go, the harder it is. I'm happy enough to slowly lose weight, I can't be fucked running or cycling.

Just finished watching the episode with James, which one should I watch next

Judging by the retard's posts he probably doesn't even count calories. He probably does shit like substituting white bread for his daily donut and thinks that's healthier in some way.

Tanisha is good too

>Diet is not enough

ebin

>diet is not enough

Oops thought the reply was in reply to this shitbird

>fat aspies with their shit knees shitposting all day with terrible taste in film and with YouTube celebrities as surrogate friends

Is this truly what we are

Why are fatties so obsessed with the pool? It's gotta be the easiest cardio ever, right? Fat people always go for the easiest exercises.

Watch a movie from the seventies, look at a crowd shot. See any fat people? No one ate between meals. Periodic fasting is the default human behavior. Even skipping breakfast and lunch and having a larger dinner can help

Actually eating small portions every two hours or so is better for weight loss.

I am, but its alcohol weight. It'll go away o-once I stop

Yeah because they're doing so great supporting a baby elephant.

Such a thin line for guys. 10-15lbs can net you anywhere from 3/10s to 7/10s. Sucks for girls though, yeah they can always get dick but what about the one they really want? As a guy you can just keep lifting and cutting until she loves you its so easy.

Do you wash your hands, beforehand?