First of all, I'd like to thank God

>first of all, I'd like to thank God

>THE FORMER BASKETBALL PLAYER JUST GOES UP AND GRABS THE REBOUND IN THE BACK OF THE ENDZONE

*slams buzzer*
Who is Jimmy Graham?
>Correct
Announcer memes for 600, Alex.

it's called hedging your bets.

>first of all, I'd like to advocate a classless society, unchained from the burden of the State and Church, and an end to all military and police and use of violence, including the greatest theft of all: property

>muh gommunism boogeyman

do you really think God is going to let you into Heaven when he knows you only believed in Him to cover your ass, that you didn't faithfully follow his ideals?

Humility is embarrassing.

>humility
>the creator of the entire fucking universe personally favors me in my effort to put balls in objects that are larger than the balls.

Property is the greatest liberty allowed under capitalism you mong

Derek Carr always, every single time, immediately goes to the Jesus thing when he wins

Its so fucking weird every time

I'm pretty sly desu

>misunderstanding it this badly
Kek

I know most of you are disconnected from society, but the pull that Western god has in society is still very prevalent. In the South it's taken as a communal backlash if you don't support the lord in every way you can. If you were raised in a rich white god-fearing family (Carson Palmer, Derek Carr, Phillip Rivers, etc.) it's seen as a slight to your family and everything they have stood for. While I don't agree at all with this shit, it's damn near suicidal to shy away from this god-fearing, patriarchal script. They stand to lose their entire emotional support base if they don't praise the lord when they do well. Not to mention they've basically been indoctrinated into it since their birth. It's shit, but it's more complex than MUH JESUS

Didn't read lmao

>property
>liberty
good consumer...keep on purchasing and earning for me!

>visit Florida
>go to gas station and buy some gas and shit
>"thank you, have a blessed day"

yeah ok, i only bought an energy drink. don't know why you had to bring God into this.

I know what you are saying exactly.

However, you can get farther than you think by not mentioning it at all. If you aren't actually doing anything overtly religious, nobody suspects what you actually believe (assuming you aren't wearing a fucking t-shirt that says "fuck god" or something)

t. from experience

>only my interpretation is the genuine one
Religion in a sentence.

lmao i literally got asked if jesus was my lord and savior by a taco bell employee during a road trip through kentucky

I recant my statement: I haven't spent much time down South.

Like I mentioned a couple times, not praising the lord is seen as a slight towards him. A friend of mine gets a bunch of random wrong-number voicemails from some black church members and they mention how great the lord is like 8 times in a 90 second message, it's ridiculous.

Just admit it, you sooo want the capitalize the word "lord" and "him"

one of my parents is jewish and the other is episcopalian and I went to catholic school for 4 years, the whole thing is kinda worn out at this point. not being >EDGY or anything, it just never had a bearing on me.

>Trying to prove your point but proving his instead.

Faggot.

Fuck God and fuck Jesus. If I could go back in time, I'd impregnate Mary then abort the child while pointing my middle finger up at the sky.

This thread is quite edgy desu, anyone wanna make it worth my time by posting some fedora images?

...

t. recovering protestant

"No man can come to me unless the father that sent me draws him. All that the father draws shall come." -Jesus

When she got a part in Third Girls Aerial Squad and voiced it with Miyamori in the booth was legit the only time I teared up watching anime

>worshipping a dead kike on a stick

t. uneducated nigger

I think you're overstating it. Eli and Peyton Manning have never been that outspoken about it. Brees and Rodgers are both devout Christians but generally keep it to themselves.

>excludes Arizona, New Mexico, and California

So basically ignoring like half the hispanic population in order to prove a point

based

what the fuck is wrong with americans?

Jesus is a hell of a drug

Yeah, there are like a billion people on the planet, he can't pay attention to everyone. I'm not going to murder anyone or draw attention to myself, I think I can sneak by

Triggered, prayercuck?

There's a Taco Bell off the freeway in Darien, Georgia that only plays that obnoxious Christian praise Rock music and I stop there everytime because of that. Corporate can't possibly be okay with loud Christian Rock music but they get away with it

>jews literally created communism

...

>work hard as fuck your entire life to be a professional athlete
>id like thank god for blessing me

pathetic.

>But muh jooos created capitalism look at that mspaint chart

>الحَمْدُ ِلله'

>i would rather own a factory than be alive
Fucking Leafs everyone

What if they beat an athiest person/team?

*teleports behind God*
heh, nothing personal, kid

*tips fedora*

Beautiful false dichotomy, worthy of a communist

Is this supposed to be Skips reaction to Jake Fromm state fromm?

>First of all I'd like to thank Satan

HAIL SABAN