>"That's when I remembered"
>"It's another reason I love men so much"
>"Men each day have a thought that goes through their head"
>"Where they're like.."
>"I don't know why, but I want to put my penis right in your butthole"
>"I want to take the most sensitive intimate part of myself"
>"And just like.. ram it right where you poop"
Is this true?
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Wow so original and deep
Usually I just wanna ram my cock in their pussies, but if the ass is phat...
I feel like I've seen some post like that before on social media, something like
>When a woman likes a man she thinks about him all day, writes his name and bites her lip when she sees his face
>When a man likes a woman he thinks about how she'd look with his dick in her mouth
not too far off
allthough, if you really love her you imagen her as your wife with your cock in her mouth
And there's nothing wrong with either of those things. People should stop trying to deny and repress human nature.
Really makes you think
I just put this on out of morbid curiosity. I assumed you guys were exaggerating but it really is literally
GUYS MY PUSSY
PUSSY
AND MY PUSSY
how the fuck are the audience laughing?
HHHAHAHAHAHA YES XD
I'm 27 and I can no longer imagine sex as a thing I would do. It's impossible. When I think about it I'm basically an observer looking at zoo animals.
t r u t h desu
>its another lets pretend women don't get super horny like men and crave penis episode
We need some fem user to roll through and admit this. I work with a majority of women and they are just as dirty as us. Maybe even more.
Isn't this a little homophobic? Anal is the way gays have sex. She is saying they are weird.
I don't even care if it's all sex jokes, but this shit is just not funny
>implying if you slipped your dick up her butt you would ever get it back
Even her asshole has teeth
Goddamn Demi was so fucking hot in that movie
its like children describing where babies come from
Believe it or not most gay guys don't do anal
> People should stop trying to deny and repress human nature.
Does that apply to rapists as well?
Usually I just wanna ram my cock in their pussies, but if the foot game is strong...
Amy "M*A*S*H*E*D" Schumer
Amy "Apocalypse Cow" Schumer
Amy "The Guns Of Provolone" Schumer
Amy "Sandwiches Of Iwo Jima" Schumer
Amy "The Fat Patrol" Schumer
Amy "A-Pack-Of-Chips Now!" Schumer
Amy "McHale's Gravy" Schumer
Amy "U-571lbs" Schumer
Amy "Zero Talks Dirty" Schumer
Amy "Arby's Macht Fries" Schumer
Amy "They Were Expandable" Schumer
Amy "The Dirty Dozen Doughnuts" Schumer
Amy "The Battle of the Bulge" Schumer
Amy "G*A*S*H" Schumer
Amy "The Big Fed One" Schumer
Amy "Hack Saw A Fridge" Schumer
Amy "Waddlecanal" Schumer
Amy "Hamburger Shill" Schumer
Amy "All Quiet On the Weightloss Front" Schumer
Amy "Sergeant Pork" Schumer
Amy "A Few Good Menus " Schumer
Amy "The Dessert Fox" Schumer
Amy "Cookie Jarhead" Schumer
Amy "Band Of Blubbers" Schumer
Amy "Schindler's Grocery List" Schumer
Amy "Dumbkike" Schumer
Amy "Ham Hock Down" Schumer
Amy "Pearl Heartburn" Schumer
Amy "Flags Of Our Fatties" Schumer
Amy "Behind Enemy Swines" Schumer
Amy "G.I. Hoe" Schumer
Amy "Three Burger Kings" Schumer
Amy "Tora Tora Tora my pants" Schumer
Amy "General Fatton" Schumer
is mostly pitty and akward laughs, blood
I saw a video where someone timed hwr to see how often she made a sexual or gross, whorish joke. The longest she went was 2 minutes. It was a aex joke roughly every 60 seconds. Crowder I think, look it up. She is a 1 trick pony.
I kek'd so true! XD
>All Quiet On the Weightloss Front
these are golden
>Amy "All Quiet On the Weightloss Front" Schumer
>7:35
"I shrieked, I went ERRRRAAAT"
What did she mean by this?
Do girls fart? Asking for a friend
Women are 1000 times hornier and sluttier than men. But they are way more choosy. Only Chad will ever get to see that side of them.
I literally don't believe this for one second. Every gay guy I know who 'doesn't do anal' has regular moments where 'tee hee got fucked in the ass again whoops tee hee'.
I don't trust a word that comes out of their mouths.
"The Guns of Provolone"
Ever had to piss out a bladder stone?That's how I feel whenever Amy Schumer talks about getting laid or about her vagina.
Bane?
Some things are more harmful than others. Obviously rape conflicts with the rapee's interests but there's no victim in me thinking nasty shit about you are mother
My dude, that's modern women acting like how they think they're supposed to act.
Women are tourists in the realm of horniness. Men are prisoners.
That's why you need to have a #ChadMindset, which is a social one.
Improve yourself by competing within the pack rather than just by yourself.
no, anal sex is disgusting
amy shlomo is a disgrace to both women and comedians
I wouldn't mind getting a handy from her
What are you, a cab driver?
Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
Talking to a lot of women and being friends with many who have admitted this outright. I don't get the whole 'all men think about is sex' and 'omg such pigs' things. Everyone thinks about sex..come on now.
V=Py/M
You can make it say anything you want, user. Doesn't mean that it's particularly insightful or accurate.
what?
do tell
I've pretty much transcended vaginas t b h, when I see a cute girl and I'm like "I want to bang that" I'm primarily thinking about putting it in the butt, now
>Amy "Hack Saw A Fridge" Schumer
awww
quit masturbating and quit watching porn, just start talking to random women, ask them about their careers, their relationships, ehat's their favorite food and why...literally endless possibilities. When you manage to hold a convo without nervousness, start pursuing women romantically, be bold and honest. While the success rate is much lower the quality of relationship is better when it works and attracts the kind of women you actually want to spend time with.
Prepare for frustation and heart ache, just like you would if you planned on living out the wilderness, accept failure as a real possibility, so that way when you succeed it is more triumphant and remember to love women. Even though they can be annoying, we do this because we love them, their eyes, their faces and their beauty. If you talk to good looking women just because you enjoy their company, even if you never do anything with them you still win
I'm watching it right now. I'm at my mothers house visiting. She's 67. She's already gone "whhhhhat?" in the first 30 seconds.
She's supposed to be a progressive feminist, what's wrong with asshole fucking...does she have a problem with gays? She comes off as a repressed bigot and that's problematic.
why does a fat fucking whale have so many sex jokes
who would want to stick their dick in amy schumer?
>>"I don't know why, but I want to put my penis right in your butthole"
I have never thought this
I always no why
Technically never had sex, it's either condoms or female anus for me. The most important thing is that you do NOT ever just settle for vagina, because that's what she wants! You have to make a woman know that she exists for your pleasure first, and then her's next! Ignore all of the fake advice about what women want, and just do what you know is natural. No foreplay, no kissing, no ritual romance, just throw her down and get ready for some muh dik action. She will appreciate it more psychologically in the long term. Beta s**t can come later if you want, but preferably never.
that's weird user
I just like anuses, your thing is weird
>women are tourists
>the men are prisoners
Not bad user I like that. Very true.
i have never done the ass, but i want to try it.
...
Do you guys get a nice whiff of shit when you pull your dick out?
>I am a sexually liberated woman who has sex when she wants
>Ew men are disgusting, they want to have sex when they want
>just start talking to random women, ask them about their careers, their relationships, ehat's their favorite food and why...literally endless possibilities
You mean ask them for a smoke?
Being a smoke bum will get you talking to a lot of random people.
Share a story for the smoke or just listen to what they have to say or something.
That or you can do it over church and chloroform them.
If people were able to impregnante an Australian Aborigine without condoms
I don't and can't tell if it's a running cultural joke that other men think about sex all the time or not
Joke is kinda offensive to gay men innit?
>I don't
Virgin?
Feed back. My mother demanded it turned off when it got to the "does it taste good?" cum 'joke'.
thinking about hentai and fapping every 5 minutes counts
that's....that's not how that works, user....
It's just teens. Everyone goes through that phase where they have a hardon almost 24/7.
See
If an adult man can never stop thinking about sex then they're seriously thirsty.
This just women in a nutshell. You don't know what your getting from one hour to the next.
>you will never be a bitter, woman-hating virgin who concocts elaborate conspiracies
You guys make it sound so exciting... like a Tom Clancy novel or something.
Do you know why female comedians barely get any respect?
Because they get laid no matter what they look like and they would still get laid if they weren't funny (assuming they are at all.)
Obviously most male comics need to be funny to get women to reluctantly put out
>tfw I usually imagine how my life would be, how we would spend time together, holding hands, waking up close to each other, doing things together
Am I gay?
>Hack Saw A Fridge
christ
>gays only have sex by fucking each other in the ass
nahhh
People are very much able to do that, what's your point?
If "how we would spend time together" doesn't include thinking about all the ways you'd fuck, then you may want to consider penis.
I unironically don't enjoy sex and I was in two quite long relationships. I don't know what's wrong with me man, I don't feel the need to suck cock either
I prefer a nice mouth if the face looks good enough to cram my dick inside.
Mostly Sex Stuff was pure comedy kino. And so were the first 2 seasons of Inside Amy Schumer. If you think otherwise then it's cause you're buthurt alt-right Sup Forumscuck who wouldn't know good comedy if it hit him in his cock cage.
>somebody asked amy shumer to rub her shit on their penis
I don't consider blowjobs as "having sex" so anal is literally the only way gays can have sex. And that is how they do it.
What Amy has just performed is clever feat of manipulation. Let me explain.
Amy is pretty gross and I certainly would not normally think of sex from her. However she has just mentioned anal sex, a particularly taboo and submissive act. I've now two things in my brain, anal sex and Amy Schumer. Girls will mention dirty sex things in passing conversation, they ALWAYS directly implying you could it with me if you play the game right.
So now, a reasonable man like myself will most likely trade something of value to attempt to fuck this ham, because she has put it out there. All girls do this, to get you do stuff for them
>the dessert fox
Hola reddit
>Risking lung cancer just to have an icebreaker
lmao, just say her shoes are nice or some shit
I would unironically ram my dick in her ass my lads
Her bf must be a sad, defeated shell of a man.
Don't ever say that to me again, bud.
You barely deserve the (you) but Mostly Sex Stuff was just alright. It was a decent hour. Certainly not enough to warrant the career she has now.
I have never had the inclination to ass fuck anyone in my life. Anal sex is not that popular.
>I don't like eating shit, it's disgusting
>Dood just STARVE yourself until you like eating shit
>ERRRRAAAT
What the fuck in keks name is that??