Character makes a virgin joke

>character makes a virgin joke
>theater laughs

...

dumb

I hate to break it to you user, but if you're still a virgin at 25 you're probably hopeless...

>Dave Chappelle makes a footpussy joke
>my mom laughs the hardest I've ever heard from her

>>theater laughs

Do Americans ACTUALLY do this?

>watching movie with hole family
>someone accuses someone of being a pedo
>gasp audibly
>cough loudly to play it off

Only made it worse.

Are you THE holeguy?

why does sex matter exactly?
Why is having sex for the first time a cultural milestone that people care about and are emotionally invested in?

Childhood is when you think the 40 year old virgin is a comedy
Adulthood is when you realize it's a documentary

Yes, they all "woop" and shit when the badguy gets punched. It's like a fuckin circus. People talk throughout. Not recommended.

Pulling a gril (i.e. not buying a prostitute) and tapping that ass is the first step to becoming a man. That goes for all species.

The common story you'll hear is that having sex for the first time represents growth of character and turning from boy to man in a cultural/societal sense. The reality is that exhibiting an early ability to attract female mates shows your reproductive value as a male, just like with dogs. If you lose your v-card past 20 it doesn't really matter, since by then it's a basic matter of effort and probability.

>girl
rude

it's like the one thing you were born to do

i suppose sex is an important part of your personal life, but its the cultural relevance of your sex life is massively overstated. its an IRL meme

now that said, its funny to laugh at virgins because they typically maintain that status because they are socially inept

>tapping that ass
anuses are not for penis penetration user

"""people"""

So I'm assuming you realized losing your virginity was hopeless and condition yourself to turn gay as a socially-acceptable safety net and contingency plan?

I had sex 4 times and it sucked each time.
Fuck you faggots for tricking me into that shit, now I can't even fully enjoy masturbation for I know what a mediocrity it is a substitute of...
Thanks for killing my imagination and joy of life

Honestly this is what I was worried about would happen if I ever got laid; never being able to get laid again and then knowing what it actually was I was missing.

As it is now, I can spend four hours edging and cumming so hard I figure that sex simply can't be any better.

or maybe it's beacuse girls never gave me erections

>being a virgin over the age of 18
How?
I was a sperg back then and even I got laid.

It's not edging if you end up cumming during it, no matter how long you last.

>never had sex
>don't care about it
>gave up on women enitrely
feels like a dodged a bullet by not falling the vaginal jew t b h

I didnt care enough to make the move.

I'm not Chris Evans but I can definitely pull some average girl if I force myself to play the game, I just cant be bothered to put that much energy into getting a nut off.

If I really feel the need to cum, I can rub it out in 10 minutes then go about my day.

I don't get why people act like this.

>never approach girls
>rarely talk with girls
>never lower your standards

boom that's how you never get laid in highschool

Why does it matter if the human race dies out from a sub-replacement fertility rate?

>Why is having sex for the first time a cultural milestone that people care about and are emotionally invested in?
It's related to the incentivization of reproduction, something our species needs.

What are you talking about?

Edging is literally the process of taking it to the edge of cumming and backing away.

You're allowed to cum by the end of it, in fact, what kind of pathetic cuckold would you be if you didn't even do that?
What would the point be then?

You cum way, way harder after denying yourself that sweet relief for hours.

You made the right choice. I wish I could take it back and get my wizard powers.

It involves going outside.

I only ever go outside when I have to.

I havent left my house on my own in 6 years

because mommy told me not to have sex before marriage

Did you think the same during puberty because I can hardly imagine that you did.
All I want to know how you managed not to get laid during a time when women have no idea what they want, are insecure as fuck and would even spend time with a grade A sperg like I was.

This. I don't understand the desperation or awkwardness people have when talking to women.

Just imagine that there's a girl with whom sex would actually be enjoyable, and you just haven't fucked her yet.

Edging means engaging in a sexually stimulating act (generally masturbation because nobody does this silly shit in bed with an actual woman) and reaching the brink of orgasm before stopping. Basically you jerk off for however long, almost cum, but stop yourself before ejaculation occurs, and go about your day afterward. If you jerk off for 5 hours straight then cum that doesn't count as edging no matter how close you get to busting a nut.

>a time when women have no idea what they want, are insecure as fuck

Thats women even into their 30s, bub

>I can hardly imagine that you did.
why not? Not everyone's driven by sex user

They're even more insecure at 30 if they're single.

>sex before 18 is almost always considered a form of rape
>being a virgin at 18 is frowned upon
How does that work out?
Do society turns a blind eye when both parties are below 18? Why would that be OK based on the same principles that convict statuory rape? Is it just a general feeling of "creepy" we base our laws on and not logic?

Edging is just the act of stopping right before orgasm. There is no conditional that says you have to go about your day afterwards like you're suggesting. You finish of AFTER you edge, it's two separate things

You're literally retarded, man.

You yourself describe the process as taking it to the edge and back.
Cumming after edging doesn't mean you haven't been edging.

Literally what kind of pathetic faggot would deny himself relief after playing with himself for hours? It makes no sense. You masturbate because you're horny.
Almost cumming doesn't make you not horny any more.

Allowing yourself to get to the very edge and then stopping makes you cum ten times harder than you normally would.

Also read you fucking moron.

That's just America though.
Anything over 14 is fair game here.

Age of consent is below 18 in a lot of places even though the CP threshold is always 18 no matter what

so if you and your gf are 17 and can legally see each other naked in sexual activity in person, don't send nudes or you can become a registered sex offender

I'm not sure where you heard that but that's not right. You can skip orgasm altogether if you're a cluck, but it's not required.

Clearly you weren't very much of a sperg, then.

>Do society turns a blind eye when both parties are below 18?
yes.

The big idea is that if you're 18+ and have to "prey" upon someone younger than you then you're fucked in the head.

Meanwhile you got all these college girls sucking off their professors and retail managers.

lets be real, 95% of you are probably fat neckbeards eating cheetos and think hillary should be president.

the people bragging about getting laid are also fat slobs, who fuck 2/10 girls and brag about "slaying puss" online as if they are gods.

all of you shut the fuck up. get back to discussing shitty netflix shows like you normally do, and stop acting as if you are the authority on anything but garbage television.

You're gay

Wrong. I'm not a fat slob,I'm a skinny DYEL and my girlfriend is a solid 3.

Remember the situation you were in and the actions you took that resulted in you getting laid? Imagine you never ended up in that situation and/or never took those actions. Girls don't generally trip and fall on one's dick, user.

Just close your eyes and think of England.

I'm going to be a wizard this year,
so I feel I'm an authority on being a virgin.

Lanklet virgin reporting in.

STOP TALKING ABOUT EASY IT IS TO HAVE SEX

I like this prevalent implication that girls aren't also spergy as fuck

it is all kinds of backwards ass irresponsible and fucked up to allow 2 teenagers to fuck who haven't the slightest idea about the inner workings or the consequences of sex and ask whether they could get pregnant by swallowing a load

Your example justifies the general consensus, though. Older people using their positions of power to take advantage of younger people.

my point is dont listen to people talking a big game online

everyone lies. EVERYONE. the people talking about fucking 10/10 girls aren't doing that. they are fucking gutter pigs.

ignore it, they are writing fiction. it shouldnt make you feel bad.

why do you care about having sex?

I guess it does, my thing is we the same principle eslewhere but people turn a blind eye.

Manipulation is manipulation, no matter what laws we make up to cover one aspect of it.

But in the example of the college girls, thats not to say they dont use the relationship to their advantage as well. Its ultimately a mixed bag.

tl;dr humans

That's why sex ed exists. You tell the kids to use condoms and how to use them, that there is no shame in saying no when you are not ready for it and, if need be you tell them were the babies come from.

Because I want to fit in.

I know one guy who always brags about his girlfriend who is actually pretty hot, but then he describes their relationship and its clearly dysfunctional bullshit

quite hilarious, actually. Looks aint everything.

>giggity

why?

the success rate of sex ed is just as much as any other class: an average of C

Sex with someone that you care about > Masturbating >>>>>>>>>>>> Sex for the sake of it

It matters to the forces of evolution. Nobody really knows exactly why.

I wish I was a virgin again after so many grillfiends. There's no joy from meaningless sex.

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life. . .

...

>don't hit puberty until 16
>instantly develop severe acne right after puberty
>not attracted to anyone in my relatively small high school
>become a shut-in NEET for 2 1/2 years after graduating
Then I got a job and went to school for a couple of years and really tried working on myself. In spite of that nobody expressed any interest in me and I have non-meme medically diagnosed social anxiety so I never make any social overtures.
Now I'm 23 and I've lost all of my friends, haven't gone out socially in about a year and all I do is go to work and come home. I've more or less completely given up.

How about masturbating to someone you care about vs masturbating for the sake of it?

people lie about dick size, finances, whatever

why wouldnt they lie about relationships?

>the forces of evolution
that's not a thing user

For me, it is still
Masturbating > Sex with someone that you care about >>>>>>>>>>>> Sex for the sake of it

It might be that she is terrible at it but I don't see how it can be improved, it's not like she's not trying

Then it would be

Sex with someone you care about >=Masturbating to someone you care about (Depends on what mood you are in)> masturbating for the sake of it >>>>>>>> sex for the sake of it.

Yeah, it is

that's the reason lol

if you're ugly you can't really complain

I got laid at 24, user. Don't worry bro

I broke up with the only girl I ever kissed in High School cause she smelled funny and had a little thumb

provide some scientific proof

>not attracted to anyone in my relatively small high school
How is that even possible? There were 20 kids in my graduating class and I was attracted to 8 of them.

No

How did you do it?

>how is it even possible to not be attracted to people
are normies really this self centered and lacking the ability to comprehend another mindset?

I honestly don't know how people have sex

It's like you need to be a superhuman to get it

the amount of effort a guy has to do is inhuman

you also have to perform

lol what do you even mean, chicks want to fuck just as much as guys do, its not rocket science

I remember when my chin looked like that. That was before I gained 20 more pounds.

jdimsa

I just wasn't. For whatever reason there was a notable lack of attractive girls in my grade. I'm pretty sure I have low testosterone so I was never really blinded by hormones and my standards, while not particularly high, are quite specific.
It didn't help that a significant portion of my high school was Asian (I live in Vancouver) and I just don't have yellow fever.

I ate some Xanax and asked out a girl I liked at work. bing-bang-boom

>shame in saying no
I honestly don't get this. Girls are generally either fairly repulsed or fairly attracted to a guy. When is there ever a time when they agree just because it would be impolite? I feel like this is just women lying to themselves.

>I have non-meme medically diagnosed social anxiety

Take some meds for it. I did, and I'd never go back. Life changing bro

I got lucky and it was a chill chick that put in the same effort as I did.

> tfw you meet a really good friend that grew up and has a wife and kids now
It's like meeting a fucking zombie, the person that you knew is long fucking dead, its one of the weirdest things you can witness in your life

>how were you not attracted to someone?
do you realize how much of a non-question this is? it's purely subjective bullshit and they only real answer is "I just wasn't"