Be german

>be german
>take a shit
>inspect it, smell it, feel it, taste it
>invite your family to take a look at it
>"Ah, Hans, das ist ein wunderbar Scheiße!"

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lmao bump. these toilets are fucking gross. anyone with these kys plz

do germans really do this????

I have an old toilet in my house and its this kind and when you shit if the turd its too long it doesnt fall and you have to stand up.

does it ever slip onto your thigh

Yeah, some times a piece fall out of the toilet.

Kek

It's true.
My friend Hans does this.

SCHNEIL SCHNEIL

I assume the main pro of that is that water doesn't splash you?

well summarized
yes
you can salute goodbye to an essential part of yourself

Just put a sheet of paper in before you shit if the splash bothers you that much

Unironically one of the smartest things I've read on this board

That looks impractical for cleaning. I remember seeing those in really old as fuck bathrooms.

mine is very clean

>scatmany

Ofcourse, after all licking you have done to it.

*takes a shit in your thread*

I like looking St what l birthed tbhtbh

>he does not inspect his shit

KACKA IN DEN FADEN MACHE

>Not letting your neighbours taste a bit to look for possible parasites
How barbaric

Do you people seriously not inspect your shit? What if you get a disease?

>the greatest German artists and intellectuals of the 19th century
>wrote letters in which they tell their family members things like I shit in your nose and so on
Why

Not an argument.
These toilets are very durable, solid, hygienic and easy to clean.
They never failure.

Also it must be said that looking at your shit isn't a bad idea. Your poo is an indicator of your health, that's why the doctor observes your poo, too.

What is wrong with germans?

literally only grandmas and eastern german/bavarian subhumans own these toilets

*inspect,smell,feel and taste your post*
*invite mods to take a look at it*

It's Mozart and it was the 18th century.
Uneducated New-worlder
>Leck mich im Arsche
>literally "Lick me in the ass"; "Kiss my ass!"

youtube.com/watch?v=C78HBp-Youk

Stuck in the anal stage

Psychologie ist eine jüdische Erfindung!

yes

why is Sup Forums always talking shit about our toilets?

This
Do they want us to become pooinloos?

>*shits*
>without wiping, puts head into toilet
>giggles like a kid on Xmas morning
>small flashlight to see shit
>unironically inhaling fecal fumes
>uses small tools to take out large particles for inspection
>eats undigested corn piece because muh German efficiency
>checks color of poop vs charts
>feels poop, consults Bristol stool chart
>shares photos on Faceberg
>brings it to work in a plastic bag
>co-workers congratulate him on the the texture and consistency
>repeat this """"""health practice"""""" daily

Yeah, truly not barbaric

>be american
>get shot

>Poomany

Since nobody said it before, I'll have the honourable task of explaining the actual use of it, instead of being a proper priest of banter:
It is actually a way to inspect your stool in a medical way, as you can detect blood or worms early enough to have them treated right away. Also less splashing. Thanks, I'll be here all night

>Germany = Germ + many
>shit has many germs
>Germany is literally named after shit
CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP

Why would a first-world country ever need to do this??? I've never done this, even when growing up in Eastern Europe, let alone America. It's not the 1800's anymore where worms and colon infections were much bigger problems. I've never once had to bend over and analyze my shit, even when I visited the hick villages back in my home country.

But what if your shit is massive? would not the water crash with the turd thus making the splash even worse?

Great thread, my friend.
This is why Finns are the top banter
masters. Everyone else needs to learn from this guy.

Germany is known to have insurances for everything. The German is better safe than sorry, no matter how stupid the idea is.
From when I shat in German toilets, I can't remember that problem occuring.

Thanks :DDDDDD
eesti beesti :DDD

we actually explained it and that most People here don't have these anyway dozens of times because this thread gets posted every day.
thanks for the effort tho

>CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP
heh

this.
You feel it anyway if you are sick. No need for these things

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA


ficking finns, I always grin

maybe your stool was not big enough.

pay your denbts

Greeks have less debts than other humans

>tfw too intelligent to poop directly into water

>Needs a giant shit-ledge on his toilet to durable, solid, hygienic and easy to clean toilets.

The absolute state of German engineering

ha-ha
very funny
not

If you can't take the heat you can always leave the Sauna of finnish banter

DEUTSCHLAND DEUTSCHLAND, ÜBER ALLES

You're making fun of them, but germans know their shit.

ahahahaha, based posts

Holy fuck I'm dying

Every one of these threads
>No guyz those are really rare only grandmas have it.

Many of us have actually been to Germany. Those are not rare.

This is the ideal toilet. You may not like it, but this what peak performance looks like.

By the way if someone is interested in Toilet 101 or fucking education about bathrooms, the return of water in your asshole when you take a dump is called "Poseidon's Kiss".

>You feel it anyway if you are sick.

Well, I told this story before in one of these threads, but ok...

>aunt feels pretty bad, tired, weak
>goes to see doctor, they try to figure out what is going on, somehow fail
>situation is getting worse
>aunt still has one of these toilets in the basement
>shits there one day
>sees there is blood in her stool
>rushed to the hospital, she actually had some internal bleeding that could have killed her
>they fix it, after a few days she is ok again

...and this is the story how one of these toilets saved the life of one of my close family members.

Sadly they are not common anymore and even getting them is not that easy.

>In German families, stories of marvelous shit inspections are passed down from one generation to another.

>dass feel wenn you nein pass the scheisse inspection at die school

ACHTUNG DAMEN UND HERREN! Zie Sheisse inspeczion ist um mandatum! Wir muss ihr sheissen zeigen. JETZT!

>ein wunderbar Scheiße
*eine wunderbare Scheiße

With all that shit in their past, I'm not surprised

>germs trying to laugh it off
It's okay to admit that it hurts inside.

Why tf am I laughing like a maniac?
You have woke my daughter!

We need to go deeper.

you like to laugh at shit jokes?

>be australian

Why would it hurt? Our toilets are objectively superior

of course.
Its an ideal icebreaker when you invited people to ask them if they might want to expect your Scheiß.

>indian laughing at a german's poo jokes
Like pottery.

well I think that toilets are just different and we cann all learn something forme ach nation's toilet. You, on teh other hand, think in terms of evaluation of the toilets...is this a typical german trait?

>ywn have cute frogs tickling your balls while having a poo

...

you know, those are not bad, in fact, they are really nice to shit in, i like them

I also check my doo doo with these toilets

I actually wish they were more common nowadays (unfortunately you rarely see

this

EIN VOLK
EIN REICH
EIN FLACHSPÜLER

Admit it: Each of you once stuck a finger in his ass to smell on it.

Does anyone have the greentext where a Finn was on a Swedish cruising ship where the toilet seemed broken? TITTA!

Reminds me when I had to shit in a dwarf sized toilet in a cabin. It was very long and hard. The damn thing stuck at the back of the seat, bounced and bitch slapped me in the lower back.

Are they biologically autistic? I haven't met one normal German.

Time to evaluate your own mental health if that is your perception

Absolutely.

>he never lets his daughter out of the basement

I always feel some kind of attachment to German historical figures. Otto von Bismark, Catherine the Great, the way they behave reminds me of myself.

poster was being ironic, just saying
I'm also highly interested what you consider "normal"

Magenschleimhautentzündung

...

...

german = finland
finland = sweden

I've been on one of those cruises and it probably wasn't even the worst thing involving Finns that hour.

I shouldn't talk though, I ended up dead drunk in the middle of nowhere in Åland and fell asleep next to some ruins using a frozen pizza as a pillow.

Stockholm-Aland cruises are filled with drunk middle aged men and women just going both ways, and doing nothing else other than drinking.