I didn't know you can skate, user

I didn't know you can skate, user

Gimme da quick rundown

>Chloe Grace Moretz declined a doorstep offering of cookies from a young male admirer ... and reported him to authorities instead.

>Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... the "Neighbors 2" star had an uninvited guest roll up to her home on a skateboard with a container full of treats. We're told Chloe was inside but didn't answer. The guy asked a neighbor if this was Chloe's home, and the neighbor started grilling the guy.

>Cops say Moretz called the cops and reported the guy, who looked about 18. The cops never got to speak with the guy because he made a hasty retreat.

>LAPD's threat management is now on this case.

Ernesto?

>Burst into treats

Sup Forums confirmed

What exactly did she tell the cops?

>hello police? i am a rich and very famous actress and there is some guy behind my door offering cookies. Please send every avaible unit here now!

>hasty retreat
who writes like this?

...

>hasty retreat
more like tasty retreat

I wish I could call the cops every time a persistent salesman knocks on my door.

I dunno, I kinda like that phrase now that you mention it

>Chloe was inside but didn't answer
What the fuck?
>the neighbor started grilling the guy.
What the fuck?
>Cops say Moretz called the cops and reported the guy
What the fuck?
>LAPD's threat management is now on this case.
What the fuck?

Seriously, what the fuck?

god chloe is such a fucking retarded schlag.. who would have her as a waifu?

> hasty retreat
> skateboard
Woooow bravo LAPD

Kek

was it this guy?

Just because the cops say they're investigating doesn't mean they actually are. It's more likely a "Yeah, we'll look into it. Now fuck off."

this guy

ayy

I'd be worried too about random creepy fans coming up to my house. She should have security.

...

Oh you

No that guy beta orbits around Victoria Justice too.

Me on the left.

What's with the bra? Surely it's not hers?

sup reddit

>hey, would you like some cookies?
>RAPE, RAPE , RAAAAAAAAAPE
>*blows anti rape whistle*

It's just weird as fuck on every step of the way, every line I quoted seems completely bizarre to me. Why would any of that even happen, do Americans really all have autism or some shit?

Normal story would be: she opens the door, gets cookies, says thanks and signs the guy's skateboard.

It's a prop from one of her movies.

She does

The "neighbour" had a gun

He might've bought it when movie studios auction off costumes, I know a guy who's into that stuff. He has a bra Jennifer Aniston wore in some movie and he's into Emma Watson as well.

Didn't this guy buy a lunch date with her or something

Apparently this is the guy they are looking for, he was only trying to help.

>chloe
>bra
top kek

I dont think he could make a hasty "retreat"

>eating semen filled cookies from a stranger
Pass.

tasty treat would have been better

She's aged like a bag of milk but I would still fuck her ass

No, it would not because it doesn't rhyme, retard.

>when you've been too long on Sup Forums and starts recognizing sub celebs orbiters

Do you people really not recognize this as marketing? Cops wouldnt explicitly state the name of a movie she has a role in.

White people can get the cops to do this, while black people are gunned down in the streets for just wearing a hoodie.

I bet her butthole is hairy and brown as coffee

The movie came out like a year ago dude.

Just don't wear a fucking hoodie, Jesus Christ it's not that hard. Black people are such whiners.

>trying to bulk clean
>just finish an almond milk, egg and steak smoothie
>some twiglet asshole comes to your door stammering about cookies

he's lucky she didn't break his neck

HE WAS A BOY
SHE WAS A FRIDGE
CAN I MAKE IT ANYMORE OBVIOUS?

Peter.... Thats the way it has to be. Its a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

Rich liberal living in gated community doesn't want to interact with the unwashed masses. But we must except thousands of third world shitskins.

i bet if he was black she would have let him in.

that's creepy as fuck. i wouldn't want some Sup Forums fag rolling up to my house either.

I feel like you mean this as a bad thing.

How fat and ugly was this guy to get such a reaction?

She should be grateful that any man at all is willing to give this she-man any attention.

Probably looked like us user.

he should've brought her some protein powder instead

i thought everyone in Sup Forums was a tall, non bald, fit chad who dates 10/10 qt

>Normal story would be: she opens the door, gets cookies, says thanks and signs the guy's skateboard.

Starlets like Moretz often have trouble with stalkers, and some have been assaulted, or even killed, by them. The initial behavior often seems innocent enough, but it quickly becomes obsessive and potentially violent. As a result, they tend to take very few chances with unknown persons showing up at their doorsteps offering gifts.

Why didn't her gay brothers come out and offer to give cookie boy a hot oil massage?

dangit, came here for that pun alone.

If they want to live outside society, they're free to do so, it's not like they can't afford it.

If they don't want to, they should act as civilized human beings.

kek

The article isn't quoting the cops word for word you autist.

pretty sure they're free to live however they want wherever they want

Yes. Ans since shes white & famous multiple units rolled while eight days later and still NO ONE HAS COME TO TAKE MY REPORT on my stolen bike.

Fucking LAPD.

I don't see the big deal. If I see someone at my doorstep that I don't know I don't answer the door.