Sit on suicide helpline for 30 minutes waiting to talk to someone

>sit on suicide helpline for 30 minutes waiting to talk to someone
>give up
>come here

feels thread? post sad stuff, suicide tips, or ways to start you life over.

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If you've got some money you should travel. Who knows, someone might murder you.

why you want to kill yourslef op...

Is there anything that brings you pleasure? Find that one thing that makes you happy and make it a part of your life.

Sounds kinda dumb but i love yugioh, without it idk what i would do. find something that your passionate about, and dont judge yourself about it.

If you've got some money you should buy psychs and sit in a grassy field with nobody around

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some context

>21
>have had the worst two years of my life
>flunked out of college
>lose my scholarships
>bounce around from factory to factory
>my friends find out I'm into weird porn and possibly gay
>instead of ridiculing me or abandoning me they keep me around
>turns out they just enjoy watching me struggle
>get a girlfriend
>turns out she just enjoys watching me struggle
>rarely leave my house for more than 10 minutes to go get cigarettes
>have been this way for the entire time I've been out of school
>where I was once sociable and funny, I'm now anxious and quiet and weird as fuck
>used to be smart, burnt my brain out on lsd about 4 months ago
>constant paranoia that goes into overdrive when I smoke
>can't even get high anymore
>have no friends and none of the skills to acquire new ones
>small town so every one of my peers knows I'm a freak
>loving family thats slowly resenting me for not changing or improving
>doesn't help I've been out of work for 2 months

I want to die but I know it's the most selfish choice. I legitimately have no idea what to do besides suicide or running away, and I'm far too broke and too untalented to make a new life for myself somewhere else

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Whatt's the problem user?

Fuck man I yern so bad to be in the woods on my own.

Rape mostly. It's why I want to kill myself.

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got a laugh, thanks bud

very wholesome advice user. I enjoy talking to people and as shallow as it sounds I've been conditioned by my upbringing that people should like me. now that I'm a shut-in and sort of spacey, that isn't so easy to do anymore.

see pyschs kind of are part of the problem. I'm a little scared to trip again

broke man, or I would

seriously though dont kill yourself

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Go to a doctor and talk about your anxiety/possible depression. You might just need some meds and therapy. 21 is young. Most people start a second career around 30. You'll be fine.

it isn't so much that I feel like a failure, it's that I feel trapped and like a joke. I used to be able to have pride in myself and by own actions I've destroyed that.

thanks spoderman

My dude, There is hope. Stuff might suck right now, but things can get better. If you can, try to read and grow intellectually. Try working out too. Figure out your finances and start buying money so you can leave and start a new life if need be. You can do it man, things can get better so long as you work at it.
What are your goals right now? What would you like to do with your ligfe?

I tried to kill myself a few months ago by drowning myself. would it have worked if my buddies didnt pull me out? how stupid am I?

Sounds to me you have experienced either a case of mental illness that is undiagnosed and unrecognised, obviously not psychosis but maybe drug induced psychosis or even schizophrenia.
Or if not you may have came to spontaneous inner realizations about reality from drug use, are having an identity crisis, haven't learned a path to focus it as an outlet and are in "pit" where you cant get out of yourself.

My suggestion would be to first see a doctor, a proper medical head doctor like a clinical psychiatrist not a psychologist or "therapist" and/or go see some experienced religious people.
Maybe look into buddhas teachings.

Talentless bloke here. I'm shitty at my dream job and can't stop failing at doing the things I try. Sometimes I want to quit my job to make it easier on my coworkers, I want to opt out of life because I have been a neet before finally getting a chance and I feel like I'm failing it, and I don't want to go back, my family is struggling and I want to finally grow but I just keep getting pushed down and my mentality is finally getting the better of me. I have no where to go and a future filled with failure to come and I have no outlet, I am just tired of myself

>it's that I feel trapped and like a joke.
I feel like that and im 34. I don't even feel like I am a man! Most of the time.
I was more confident, social and had drive when I was your age.

that's one part that's made it hard on me. I grew up as a fairly intelligent kid, I was in the gifted track at my school, I did fairly well on my ACT (29 but with no prep/no study). I have never found a passion though, something to drive myself towards. My goals right now are vague. I really want to be a good dad, and I want to have a great and lasting marriage. I want people to say good things about me again.

a couple friends suggested the idea of drug induced or regular schizophrenia. I'm going to a therapist on the 2nd of October, so I don't plan on ending myself before I give that a fair shake.

the Buddhist stuff is interesting, I'll check into it.

thanks for your time and words anos, they help a lot

That's it? Wow you're fucking pathetic

Sounds like it's time for new friends. Don't worry about impressing the people that have already decided you are a joke. Go out and meet new people. Stop associating with your old friends.

Do you have any hobbies, interests or passions?

Call them or kill yourself faggot

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op here. the hard parts over my friend, or at least the hardest. if I can wake up every day alone and slog through literally never leaving my house or doing anything day in and day out, you can make it too. if you can't find strength in yourself, do it for your family.

see that's what scares me. not where I'm at but what's to come. I've never felt like a man, and since this last garbage fire of a relationship I've come to the realization that there's a good chance I've never satisfied a woman emotionally or even physically. Maybe even that I'm incapable of doing so entirely.

>My dad died when i was 15
>He was drunk and did not really show a lot of
>love or care
>Life has been a bitch all the things that >happen to you
>Have been there 2
>you need to look for hope and help
>its is normal to feel that your problems will no
>get resolve
>but all your problem can actually be fix
>take the right desicions
>look for another place to be
>move try to go on
>things will be better but it takes time.

I tried!

never claimed I wasn't friendo

good advice, but as far as hobbies I had a very solitary childhood. I got into magic and d&d when I was in high school, but I've only ever played either online. I want to develop "real" hobbies like hunting or fishing or just not games made for kids. I feel guilty for such escapism when my life is in too fragile a position to be escaping from it.

all me, for those who care

if the thread dies, thanks again for the words. they are helpful

I get you. I get it sucks right now user, I've been there - lonely and sad. I'd try to just chill out and find some meaning again user. Go to a library and pick out some books, not the modern shit but the good old stuff, stuff like the 'Count of Monte Cristo' and 'The hobbit', stuff that you can get lost in and makes you think about everything. Just take it easy for a while, find some stuff you enjoy and do it. Maybe find a Discord with people who share similar interests as you.
Right now just try to feel better and reflect on what you really want out of life, yous seem to have the right idea, now you just have to get to it. I recommend just relaxing right now and finding enjoyment in life again. You'll find it user, I believe in you.

true story: my roomie buddy from the Marines (Fallujah, multiple tours overseas) pulled the trigger last night. Misfire. Second time he has pulled the trigger. Second time the the primer in the round has failed to function. Different gun and ammo. Shit is weird. I've had so few misfires with modern ammo and weapons that I don't specifically recall any of them. Can't be pure chance, no is that lucky. He was touched by it, and swears never to drop the hammer again. Good thing, last night would have been real shitty if the fucker had gone off. I don't know what exactly the lesson is, but I told him he will really piss off God if he tries that shit again.