Yo Sup Forums daily smoker here, I have two days to pass a drug test and I really need the job.. How do I do this?

Yo Sup Forums daily smoker here, I have two days to pass a drug test and I really need the job.. How do I do this?

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stop smoking for a year

Do a full blood transfusion. You’ll find it hard to convince someone else to give you all their blood so try rounding up as many stray dogs as possible and using them instead.

> two days

You can’t that quick.

shoot yourself in the head for being so dumb

Theres videos on youtube fag

By quick fix.... Fake pee

Weed?
Get a piss kit.
Get a piss flush recovery supplement...
Be a competent worker and they won't bug you about it.

Need more info. If it’s a dna or piss test, you won’t pass. If it’s one of those mouth swabs then you should pass if you stop smoking rn and brush your teeth thoroughly and use mouthwash

hi user do you like traps

twitch.tv/sadc0de
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twitch.tv/sadc0de

Do you have a brother that looks like you who doesn't smoke weed? If the piss test is taking place at one of those centers that they contract out to that could work. If you have to piss on site at the actual place of employment ur fukn done kiddo

you're fucked.

passing a test takes almost a month.

time to start walking around with a bag of someone else's pee taped to your leg

yup

It's literally impossible. Try and get away with fake pass cause guarantee you will fail

They don't hire druggies because it affects their bottom line; just do good, work pass the initial test... badabing gottajob!

Its basically impossible but if you wanna risk it drink a fuck ton of cranberry juice and go to a sauna to sweat a lot, if you cant go to one just find a way to sweat. You can also eat alot of poppy seeds to get a positive for opiates, you'd have to tell your boss that you ate them thus making the test null

Stop smoking today, passed my test by taking three days off... You might be fucked anyway, if you're lucky then the stall will not have been flushed and you can scoop a stranger's pee into the cup.

Drink a mixture 1 part bleach 1 milk.
The bleach and milk enzymes will break down the cannabinoids in your blood and urine.
Drink at least an 8oz glass of above mixture for good measure and you'll be golden.

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>just do good, work pass the initial test...
into
>just do good work, pass the initial test...
Commas mean everything in written linguistics.

use someone else's clean piss?

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This user here has the right idea, I tried this as a last ditch attempt to make sure I'd pass after smoking about five nights before. No clue how it worked tbh but it was the only thing I tried and the test came back perfectly fine.

Who cares you nerd

drink bleach. 1/2 gallon will clean you out

There's a subtle difference between
>working through the initial test.
and
>and doing good work after you've been accepted.

I've been using quick fix plus for like 7 years hasn't failed me yet. Just warm it up between your balls and leg like an hour before and it'll be okay my dude.

I know but who cares

People that care.
People that read my post.
The minute fraction of individuals that might mesh my statement into their working systems...
Who cares? I care!

It might be a long shot but I've seen smoke shops stock "fake dicks" meant for using when doing piss tests. Its pretty much a dick prosthesis that you can fill up with piss beforehand and then you whip that fucker out and gently press the tip and it will pour out. The hard part is getting someone elses clean piss.

Ask a friend for that delicious drug free pee and don't follow weird mixed liquids these people are talking about.

Even though the "weed is in your system for a month" story is absolutely incorrect, being a daily user, it's probably going to take about that long for your body to flush it out. No amount of cranberry juice or store bought cleanse will make a long term daily user pass a piss test in 48 hours.

I'm trying to put an asterisk around my statement because I've seen the nasty ideals distilled from quotes that had a different intention.

This

>weed is in your system for a month" story is absolutely incorrect
>it's probably going to take about that long for your body to flush it out

Stoner logic.

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I passed mine with Monkey Whizz. It’s got Uric acid and works fine long as temp is right

it would be better to miss the appointment than to have a drug test come back positivbe for drugs,

unless weed was legal then they could not do anything other than not hire you,

unless you are talking about smoking something far worse like crack or meth, then you are dooomed if you take that test, but you are doomed anyway for fucking around with crack & meth because that shit is bad karma

Goddamn, I'm glad I'm not lumped in with retards like you anymore, OP. I stopped smoking a few months ago after failing my third or fourth test. Got tired of being treated like a teenager. Manned up and moved on to booze so I can enjoy my high without repercussions.
Tldr, grow up, retard. Stop smoking and get a good job or keep smoking and enjoy flipping patties. Choice is yours.

I don't smoke weed, but I am in the medical field. A month is a decent rough estimate for a clean piss for chronic users. As little as a week may eliminate all traces for casual users. 48 hours cuts it close for anyone.

>inb4 angry shitstorm
Good shit, lol. Booze is my drug of choice though for sure.

bullshit, i know construction contractors and crews that smoke weed every day

it depends on the kind of job, you cant have truck drivers or police officers and soldiers and other high risk professions smoking weed so close to work, but if you are painting apartment buildings, or throwing up wood frame walls, or hanging drywall then smoke up budski

They don't test for nicotine ya big dummy

>>Inb4 angry shitstorm
Seconded. I'm not even being ironic. Booze is highly underrated if you're actually of age and can buy it.
>Booze is my favorite drug
Seconded. Again. It was nice being able to smoke as a teenager but you have to get serious about life at some point.

Although I know thay dude is trolling and you fell for it, I will agree with you. When I was a Valet at a casino (around 24 dollars an hour to drive nice cars hell yeah) I only got piss tested if a customer claimed damage or if I (never did) was to get into an accident. Then when I was in the Army, we had random drug tests constantly. We could go 2 months without one then have 3 im a week. They always kept us guessing. Now that i'm a teacher, I will never get drug tested unless I really fuck up. It just depends.

Hope you fail and become homeless.

I love alcohol. It's cheap, easy to get a good feel from and if you don't drive under the influence, you're likely only going to make yourself look dumb and not cause much fuss.

>I know construction and contractors who smoke every day
Of course you do. Everyone does. They know how to get away with it but you always run the risk of losing your livelihood just because you want to get high. If you don't see the error in this, you have some reevaluating to do. Just play by the rules and don't put yourself in stupid situations. The moment you get hurt on the job and get fucked with medical bills because you got swabbed instead of piss tested is the day you're likely homeless.
>Depends on the job something something you cant have people getting high and doing dangerous jobs
That wasn't my point but alright. We were talking about the risk of getting caught, not getting high whilst doing high risk jobs.

If it’s a non-observed test, the only way is to use someone else’s urine, while making sure it stays body-temperature.

If it’s an observed test, you’re fucked. Literally every single institution that does observed urine tests knows about the “whizzinator” and they’re not gonna let you just unzip your fly.

Dude i used fake piss once and the medical tech didnt accept the sample. Canada is beating us in freedom, they dnt drug test for weed.