Try to make a short story based on this picture

try to make a short story based on this picture

Attached: 25508189_10207919647747966_9053665727771370135_n.jpg (919x916, 121K)

He tried to run a farm like a comie but failed

Old McDonald fucked a pig
E I E I O..
Cuz on the farm there's no chick
E I E I O...

Off to temple with you babe

He was riding piggy-back. (got it?)

>they got trump

Attached: 1444659110327.jpg (800x800, 229K)

Roland was a 27-year old autistic fuck who somehow managed to get a date. He was extrememly excited and nervous simultaneously. His friend told him to bring something to impress her, which is fucking stupid advice, but Roland didn't know this, for he was a 27-year-old virgin. He decided to kill a beast 1.5 times his height: the mighty and totally defenseless cow. At the time he headed out for the date, he brought his phone, wallet, etc., but most importantly, the dead beast. He brought it to the back of the taxi, but the driver said, "Is that a fucking dead cow? You can't bring that in here!"
And so Roland stuffed it into the trunk. By some mistake of God, the driver did not notice. And so he was on his way to his date wearing a motorcycle helmet and a horribly tied bowtie. He reached the date and the woman he was already planning to propose to like the desperate dumbass he is, and finally met her.
The first thing she said was "What the fuck are you carrying? Is that a fucking dead cow?"
Roland responded, "It is the beast I have slain with my own two hands. Speakint of hands, will you take mine in ma-"
But she had already pulled out a can of Mace and used it on Roland's face. She ran away yelling and eventually pulled out her phone to call the cops.
Roland was left heartbroken by this rejection and eventually found pictures on the internet of his taxi ride, leaving him depressed and embarassed.

This wouldn't be so freaking funny if it wasn't a taxi. If it's the customer's, who stands at the side of the road trying to wave a taxi down with a whole dead pig, and more importantly what taxi driver would stop for them and let them put the pig in the back? If it's the taxi driver's, how do they expect to attract business with a dead pig head sticking out the back? Imagine a family flagging down a cab, going to put their stuff in the back, then seeing that severed pig head dripping blood down the bumper, then the cab driver saying, "so, do you want to hold on to your bag or try and fit it next to ol' pinky?"

Watch how this Taxi Coach Stops Jewish Passengers from Skimping out with this One Trick.

Once upon a time Romenia is a shitty country and they all lived happily ever after.

Taking mother in law to airport

None of you faggots know the difference between a short story and a caption except this guy but he can't tell the difference between a cow and a pig so I guess you're all inbred retards

What about mine? "Once upon a time Romenia is a shitty country and they all lived happily ever after."

>None of you faggots know the difference between a short story and a caption
None of us care.

The last alfalfa of the season had just been cut. A crowd gathered at the edge of the field on the evening of the Wolf Moon. Sweet green scent of drying grass, folk music being played by a small band of gypsies. Near the bonfire a man was tied to a post - his head hung low and he was no longer struggling to free himself. He was aware that this life was over.

Katharine danced around him in a long flowing skirt, her waist-length wild red hair slapping against him as she spun. Occasionally, she would stop and look at him and spit in his face.

"Pig! You are a filthy disgusting pig! You will never see the light of day again!"

More music. Everyone was drinking the plum-based țuică , their vision (both individually and collectively) become ever more blurry with each glass.

Someone threw a massive log onto the fire and out shot a blast of sparks and smoke and putrid scent. When the excitement subsided, they noticed that the man was no longer tied to the stake.

In the distance, if one knew where to look, one could just barely see a taxi as it disappeared on the way to town. The trunk was open, and a trail of blood marked the path.

So. This is the backstory to Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner ?!?!

Fantastico!

That was a (You) but honestly I think I wrote a good story so I don't care that I don't know the difference. Besides, could I have said "slain a beast 1.5 times his own weight" if it was a cow?

depends on how big Roland was.
I guess it's possible.

*if it was a pig
Shit, I AM inbred.

guy slaughtered his pig for christmas and was taking it somewhere to slice it up.

Attached: X2343.jpg (633x900, 378K)

Considering most pigs can weigh upwards of 250 lbs? You could have, but i'm going to assume you're a fat fuck and 250 is not out of the realm of possibility for what you weigh, let alone 1.5 times it

Attached: 1570310920165.jpg (647x477, 42K)