How do i give myself cancer?

how do i give myself cancer?
would microwaving my body work?
i really need to do this

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Build wings of wax to fly high into the sky
The higher elevation increases exposure to solar radiation, thus increases cancer risks
Just be careful and don't fuckin' fly too high like a dumbass

No, microwaves are non ionizing. You need the ionizing radiation to get cancer.

i want it to be quick and easy

Sneak into a hospital and give yourself shit loads of xrays

im a fat fuck, i cant sneak

Good news, bruh. Your fat ass probably already has cancer

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>how do i give myself cancer?

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Does it have to be cancer? Snort a line of asbestos dust, that will fuck you up

Eh wrong, at least microwave communications. That shit is ionizing but this fat fuck would probably block the signal and have a maintenance team there within a day or two, if he could even fucking climb a tower.

I was thinking of kitchen microwaves. I don't kno enough about communication microwaves to advise this dumbass on how to get cancer

*Find someone with cancer
*stab them
*stab yourself
*Get at least a liter of their blood
*put it your blood
*????
*Profit

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>Eh wrong, at least microwave communications.
Bullshit. Microwave means that it has wavelength in the µm range, which means it's non-ionizing.

Why are you trying to give yourself cancer?

Buy some uranium on the Silk Road or some shit.
Why do you want to get cancer though OP?

Get formalin. Get rapid decalcifier.
Mix.
Breathe deep.

Enjoy your small cell carcinoma.

Cancer happens over a long time.. If you want cancer, smoke a pack or two for a year or something like that

lots of metals are carcinogens if they're in a form that your body can absorb. Chromium compounds are pretty readily available despite being pretty fucking toxic. You can probably get some from amazon. look for something that specifically mentions it's hexavalent chromium. I don't know what kind of dosage you're looking at but cancer takes a long time to develop, so probably just eat as much as you can every day without making yourself feel sick.
If you want the DIY method, shave up a bunch of nickels with a file and snort the dust.

You want some cancer? Here have this my friend it’s all yours

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>i really need to do this
alright, 'll bite. why do you need to do this?

Hello, OP here
i want cancer cause im a big fat ugly stipid piece of shit who cant even spell.
also i stink and my sexual performabce is very bad.

Smoke for 20 years faggot

Sneak into the deepest part of Chernobyl and inhale.

Save up your neetbux and raw dog escorts. You'll get aids eventually which is basically the same thing.

Start eating nothing but processed meat and make to burn it to a nice black crispy crust. Enjoy your colon cancer in 20-40 years.

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