Hello Sup Forums. I find myself in a situation that I can't talk to anyone else about

hello Sup Forums. I find myself in a situation that I can't talk to anyone else about.
>Currently 24 years old
>recent college graduate
>Have a job in my field, make around $60k a year
>father recently approached me and said "it's time I start acting like a man and pick up some financial responsibility around the house"
>Figure that he was talking about paying some rent, maybe picking up the power bill or something, no big deal
>starts wanting $1200 to $1500 a month every month
>I'm not allowed to ask where it's going
>I'm not allowed to give him any less than that
>Also told that yes, as I figured, I'm expected to give him rent and help with utilities
>By "help" I mean I suddenly became solely responsible for all utilities in the house
>I'm spending around $2600 a month all said and done on rent, utilities, and whatever mystery shit Dad using my money for
>3 months in, I'm done, pissed off I confront dad
>Tells me to go fuck myself, that he's the man of the house and if I don't like it I can leave
>Tell him fine, I don't have to bleed money into his pocket, I'll leave right now
>mom talks us both down
>Mom reveals to me that dad is something like $105k in credit card debt
>He wracked up all this debt long before I was born with fast car leases, vacation spots, and other such partying
>I'm "responsible" for paying off my failure of a father's fucking party debt according to my father
>mom says she "understands if I leave"

So what does Sup Forums think? Should I help him? He works a job that barely brings in $25k a year. He keeps claiming that "he made me what I am today" but the fucker was never there for me. We always had to apartment hop and skip out on rent payments because he was never able to hold a job to pay the bills in the house. My college education was all on my good grades getting me a scholarship, and taking a small loan from the bank. (in my own name might I add).

>TL;DR
Should the son be responsible for debt the father made before the son was even born?

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Lol no, tell him to go bankrupt and then put shit in your name
>reverse uno card
>pass go collect 200

If he was honest with you at the start I would say to help him but because he blackmailed you into paying for it, let him pay it himself. His debt, his problem.

tell him to go screw himself

Enjoy being a cuck if you really have to come here for advice.

This should be in /adv/ but well.

I don't think your father deserve it if you insist he hasn't been a really good dad, or decent even.
In your case I would move out if things get worse, or even now. I would, still, maybe help your mother somehow, maybe helping her with some bills but behind your dad's back.

So if and only if your dad was a good dad, help.
Don'tt be an ass, but you have no obligations for debts not belonging to you.

You are not responsible for his failures.
He needs to man up and accept that debt is on his head, not yours.
Move out NOW.
You could live someone REALLY NICE ALONE for $2.6k a month.
Fuck living with family for that price, are you kidding? People live with family to save money, not bleed.

tldr; GET THE FUCK OUT

Leave. Find one of those small 100k condos you can buy outright in 2 - 3 years, when you are done with it rent it out and buy another. In 10 years you will have 5 condos you are renting for another passive 5k a month. Enjoy those small, but worthwhile long term low yeild income gains.

Just leave retard

In one hand, fuck your shit eater of a dad. Your money, your way, user. On the other hand, I pity your mother. Fuck.

I tell you what my father told me when i was in college and we had some money problems.
He said:" user what ever happens you will never pay the money that i have to pay because it's my responsibility and my fault that im in this situation. If a father asks his child to pay for his debts that means that the person has failed as a parental figure for his child and the child has every right to not do anything. You don't have to feel bad because we took care of you all these years and you think that you have to pay something back. It was our decision to get a child.
So in short if i ever ask you to pay my debts or anything you are obliged to tell me "suck my dick first". Because nothing in this world is free not even for the parents.

Move out

he has a gambling debt

cut him off and let you mom file for divorce
try and put all the debt on his name.

he needs to be financially isolated, otherwise he'll drag you down into the abyss with him

shouldn't you ask that on /adv/

yea this is the vein of thinking I was having, I was just feeling bad about it. Thought maybe I was being selfish.
yea I already spoke to my mother. She says if push comes to shove, she can stay with a friend of hers. Apparently thinks have been rocky between my folks for a long while now and only stuck together for me.
I'm aware. I just feel like I'm abandoning my family, specifically my mom but she says she has plans already. So I'm not feeling horrible now.

i second this

>gambling addiction

You shouldn't be responsible for his mistakes and should probably get your own place. And if you want you can throw him a bit of cash every month just to say you're helping

good idea thanks
Probably gonna
least your dad has that selflessness. My dad is a very gimme gimme type person
seems like it. That or no sense of responsibility as a younger man because "credit cards are free money! lmao"
I've only ever asked a single thing on /adv/ about a life choice I was undecided on, and was told like 6 times to "kill yourself". Sup Forums has trolls for sure, but more helpful it seems.

It's because of the debt. Think about what your mother is saying.

Now ask yourself, if one of your girlfriends said this about you to her friends what would run through your mind?


Your mother is done with your father and fell out of love with him a long time ago. She is ready to move on with her life and stayed and struggled with him FOR YOU.

Do her, yourself, and your father a favor and move out.

Your father is right. It's time for you to Man Up user. Grow a big bright shiny pair of brass balls. Move out. Set your self free, so your parents can be as well.

Be a good man and move out, then help out your parents when you can. How is this difficult?

uh no, fuck that nigger. He literally is trying to use you, his own son, to make up for his own mistakes, to sponge off your young blood like a parasite. I'd cut all ties with him and wait for the Obits, then I'd piss on his grave after the funeral is over. Fuck that nigger.

yea it seems like that's the path forward. I was already hunting for my own place after graduation when my father started asking for money.

I'd wait until you could pay for the whole debt without putting you in financial trouble or not being able to going "on that next vacation" and only then and only if you really do feel bad for him, pay his debt, but I'm not feeling sure about that, he might think "ah, now i don't need to work anymore" or something. but I'm just a 19 yr old without a job so, what do i know...

you're not being selfish by not letting your dad blackmail you into taking on HIS responsibilities,

Is me.
Op, what is the nearest major zip code you wouldn't mind living in? Least us anons can do is hop over to Zillow and help you find a nice starter place that's small, cheap and efficient while you sort some things out. Remember, GO SLOW, and STICK TO WHAT YOU KNOW. Don't overwhelm yourself with a big fancy place, and remember, no matter what your decision, your parents (should) always love and support you. Unless you're a complete and utter fuckup like most of us on here.

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thats quite unfortunate.
Are you the only child? Your father isnt acting right for sure, I am concerned about your mom though, if you leave they will divorce likely.
Its strange that you arent acctually a failure.
Daym man, consumerism sure sucks ass.

Leave NOW.

You should be putting that money into a mortgage

appreciate the offer but I'm good. I was like 75% of the way through finding my own place before my dad started asking for money. Had a real estate agent and all that. I'm good at budgeting so I'm still sitting on about $9k in my bank even after giving all the money I did to my father.
yea I'm the only child. I have a feeling I was an accident child. Mother won't admit it, dad won't condemn it. My mother always made me focus really hard on school to try and make something of myself. I didn't know it then but it appears she didn't want me ending up like my father.

So it seems like I'm going to leave me dad hanging high and dry with his own mistakes. I'm going to make sure my mother gets to where she needs to be first though. Make sure she has a roof over her head and food to eat before I go off on my own.

He deserves it. You can easily afford a place of your own. Go. Get out of there, that's not a good situation. Tell your mother you love her and leave.

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>thats quite unfortunate.
This is classic boomer, you need to call him out for being a fuckup and agree to pay your way with rent which includes utilities maybe your own food. Otherwise you may as well leave and pay your own way entirely.

You have a really important opportunity here to become a real man.

Tell your father you will continue to contribute, but on YOUR terms, since you are the earner. He doesn't have to treat you like a superior, but he does have to stop treating you like an employee. You get to live as you please as long as you are paying the bills, and YOU write the checks, deciding how much to allocate to what, He has proven he can't make good financial decisions, so his credit cards go in a safe deposit box or something like that, and you get to look at his financial mail. And if he doesn't like it you absolutely will leave.

Also start fucking your mom.

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as it is I already am paying for everything. I think the only thing he's paying for is his phone bill. But even then it might be with the money I'm giving him every month for his debt so who the fuck knows?
lmao I'd find him hanging from a rafter by his neck before that happened.

Unless if you really think your dad deserves the help he needs due to some cultural/personal belief or what have you, just get the fuck out and start packing. Its none of your fault. Its none of your business. You would even go as far as to say thay he didnt contribute to shit. Helping him would be mostly superficial honestly.

Think about it. You could probably be a better father.

I say fuck em, piece of garbage

kill yourself

You're gonna make a single mother very happy someday with logic like that

That's way too much money my dude. You can live in a fucking posh flat with that much a month. Don't even tell them to fuck off. Just leave without a word and never look back. These people don't own you, but they think they do. Make sure you don't leave a forwarding address.

Wow, the fucking egoistical cunts in this thread. It's just fucking money, just go ahead and talk to your parents about how much they need and give it to them, if you have any empathy for them. You really think you have to come out on top in this? You have no obligations, but if you have the chance to make their lives more bearable why the fuck wouldn't you do it?

kill you're*self. And thanks.
I'd still want to help my mother
I'm being used as a piggy bank for my father's debt who won't even tell me how much he owes, his monthly payment requirement, and how much his interest rate is. For all I know he's barely making his interest payments let alone actually towards the debt. Am I supposed to just be in the dark my entire life?

Honestly its surprising to me you haven't moved out already making that much money.

You may actually be able to support your mom better away from home, jesus christ for a fraction of 2600 a month you could make her life so much better. Look for somewhere near by.

Your not being selfish, your dad has serious fucking problems and pumping cash into his account is going to make it worse as he clearly cant control his spending, hes probably been spending most of it on dumb shit.

Honestly the best way to ACTUALLY help him would be to pay for some therapy for him, he has deep seated problems, but it sounds like hes an old stubborn fucker who would never go for that....

What is your problem with moving out, i moved out the second i turned 18 on fucking 15k kek, had a great fucking time.

>It's just money
>Being bled like a stuck pig by an authority figure for what amounts to a financial fuckup because of a lack of personal responsibility
You don't let people step on you like that, user.

>sounds like hes an old stubborn fucker
him to a T
>What is your problem with moving out
I have no problem going on my own. I mentioned it ITT but I was in the middle of looking for my own place shortly after graduating. I was living with my folks for less than a week while I looked around at condos/property/studio apartments. In that week is when he started asking for money.

Right shit i get you.
Do eet, move out, somewhere with a spare room so your mom can stay.

Perhaps you should be cautious of your dad actually knowing where you live, your probably his last lifeline now so he might start harassing you for money and shit, jesus christ having to get the authorities involved with a family member sounds awful.

Generally though think of moving out as 'putting your foot down'. Let your dad know your willing to help him ON YOUR TERMS (help him with finding work, therapy, his finances ect) that shit will be more valuable than giving him hard cash.

I really feel for you user this sounds shit you sound decent. Remember this shit is a tough life experience most people your age dont have to deal with you WILL be a stronger person for it.

yea places I was looking at had multiple rooms anyway (not like I can't afford it) so she could stay with me if her friend situation doesn't work out. The more that I think about this, I have no intention of helping him with his credit card debt now. He betrayed my trust and lied to my face. Then had the fucking balls to make it seem like I'M the asshole. Fuck that. When my blood is cooled maybe I'll offer him help with his gambling/spending bullshit. But until then he's on his own.

I don't think it's your responsibility. You should move into a small apartment or something for now, while you save up for a decent place. Tell your mum you'll help her whenever she needs it (buy her groceries, maybe pay for a hotel room or something) but you're not gonna pay for your dad's debt. He didn't get into debt raising you or anything, he did it by being selfish

>He betrayed my trust and lied to my face. Then had the fucking balls to make it seem like I'M the asshole.

Yeah fucking this, its about letting him cool of as much as you, he has to know he done fucked up. Likewise for your mom, you moving the fuck out for abit will hopefully make him realise he crossed a line and done goofed.

Alright, I made up my mind Sup Forums. I'm calling my real estate agent right now to get the search going again. Maybe some of the place I was scoping a few months ago are still available. Think I'm gonna get a Holiday Inn hotel room or something for a week or so while I look. I'm only going to tell my mother my plans and where I'm going so she has somewhere to go if needed. My dad is on his own.

Thanks for the clarification.

Its gonna be good user, god speed.