hey Sup Forums. having a hard time recently and just looking for some help. i've tried therapy, i was hospitalized once but i just don't know what to do with my life. going to try and sum everything up that led to what i did. you guys will probably hate me for this and some details will probably get me banned but i'm atleast somwhat hopeful someone will care.
>be summe 2015
>just came out of 5th grade
>have aspergers so i was bullied alot for liking nintendo games
>whenever i went to a teacher or staff they all told me it would be better once i got to middle school because more people would have my interests
>have one friend named payton
>he's into nintendo like me so we hang out a bunch
>august comes
>it's about 12 or 1 am when my parents wake me up
>start yelling at me for a bunch of shit
>angriest i've ever seen them but because i'm so tired i just say yes to everything to get out as soon as possible
>wake up in the morning
>turns out my sister told a bunch of people at our church that i raped her
>basically just confessed to raping her because i was so sleep deprived
>can't do anything to defend myself against her allegations now so to protect her i go along with it
>sixth grade
>rape allegation spreads across my school
>have extreme anxiety from all the punishments i had to endure for this crime so i carry around a stuffed turtle named seymour (named after the insaniquarium character) as sort of a security blanket
>get bullied even more for having a stuffed animal
>every 2 weeks on Wednesdays we would go up to our local children's advocacy center and talk with CPS therapists
>this went on for about 6 months
>payton still sticks by me through all this
>year ends
>payton and i hang out alot over the summer
>last day of summer we went to our local playground and tried to fly this turtle kite i got
>that was the last time we hung out
>payton becomes more distant when seventh grade starts
>eventually stops talking to me
>find out he gave into the rumor
>my best friend
Hey Sup Forums. having a hard time recently and just looking for some help. i've tried therapy...
>the one person who i thought wouldn't leave me gave in and now genuinely believes i raped my own sister
>meet a 2 new friends and hang with them for all of seventh
>rumor actually dies down
>finally get to live some resemblance of a normal life
>eight grade starts
>we get into a fight about some stupid shit and stop talking
>they move
>i now have no friends but atleast i have an opportunity to make more
>december comes
>the day still fucks with me
>getting ready for the holidays feeling good about myself
>december 4th
>i come home from a stressful day of school and my mom picks me up and drives me all the way to Austin where my grandparents live
>turns out my sister made another false allegation against me
>this time i put my foot down
>fight for myself tell them that she's full of shit
>i come back a couple days before Christmas
>we still live together but i don't talk to her
>go back to school
>get bullied more
>meet a new friend one grade below me his name is aidan
>we bond over shitty memes and stuff
>eventually have a sizable group of friends. jon, lukas, aiden, aidan (yeah there was two of them in the group).
>they actually take pity on me and try to be there for me
>realize that they're only pretending to be my friends because they feel bad for me but don't really care for me as a person
>aidan still likes me however
>whole group has a falling out with me over a minecraft server and i stop talking to them
>all except aidan
>january 2019
>i started making youtube videos and got up to 100 subscribers
>proudest i've felt of myself
>at school one day and get a text from aidan
>he wants to do videos with me
>tell him we can do that and he offers to edit for me too
>month goes by and aidan is getting on my nerves
>constantly asking for a role in my discord server to let everyone know he's my "righthand man"
>always bugging me about my next upload
>i tell him to stop and in retaliation he keeps taking pictures of obese and disabled people and captioning them "user's midlife crisis" to insult me because at the time i was a little overweight
>give him 4 chances to stop
>he doesn't
>cut all ties with him
>starts using some of my online friends and fans to reach me
>i tell them that i'm not going to forgive him after i gave him 4 chances
>aidan comes to my house
>i see him and close the door on him but he puts his foot in and lets himself in
>eventually get him to leave but feel very violated
>feel hurt that my online friends still talk to him and think he's a cool guy
>express this to them and they cut ties
>2 weeks go by
>its summer now
>find out that they still talk to aidan
>flip out and have a mental breakdown
>ban them all from my server
>next day i try apologizing for what i said and they all forgive me but 2
>find out that some of them used this mental breakdown as an excuse to ask aidan for my address in case i "did anything crazy"
>eventually everyone leaves
>10th grade starts up
>meet a girl with issues like me
>shes kinda shy but really cool
>her name is Anaka
>we start talking
>we exchange phone numbers and discord
>eventually start dating
>she hangs out with my small group of friends
>i do everything for her when a kid groped her i was the one who held her while she cried before running into the principals office and telling them that if they didn't do something i was going to kick that guys ass
>one day i get a text from her
>she breaks up with me
>i cry myself to sleep
>Summer 2015
>5th grade
>4 years later(2019)=9th grade
Kys underage fag
time heals all wounds
-go to the gym
-eat healthy
-play some vidya
>wake up and find walls of texts and calls from her on all my social media
>she thought i killed myself
>went to school and the police officers corner me and try getting me to confess to sending a message saying that i want to hurt someone or myself
>message doesn't exist because i went to sleep
>situation escalates and i have to be taken out of school for a while
>eventually Anaka and i sort everything out and get back together
>one of my friends Ethan tells me its a bad idea
>blow him off
>things go okay. her mom thinks i'm crazy after what happened previously and doesn't want us dating but we date anyways.
>do everything i can for her.
>talk one of her friends out of suicide even though he threatened me multiple times
>she breaks up with me again
>have a mental breakdown
>she doesn't care
>starts talking shit about me to my friends
>pretty much tried to slander me
>mutual friend reaches out to me and tells me to vent to her
>i still love Anaka but i say a bunch of terrible things about her that i don't mean just to relieve my anger
>mutual friend shows Anaka the text
>Anaka keeps talking shit about me to my friends before one day she stops
>my friends actually stood up for me for once
>feel good
>get a new girlfriend
>every now and then we joke about how much of a shitty person Anaka was and how she always made jokes that made us uncomfortable (she'd pretend to date other guys call us gay for eachother shit like that)
>make a couple tweets to my friends poking fun at it
>she sees the tweet even though she blocked me
>get her mom to send me an email
i'll show screenshots of the email chain if you guys really want but to sum it up
mom: stop making fun of my daughter
me: your daughter is a shitty person and deserves it
mom: i'm going to the school with my complaints
me: don't care they won't do shit
>come to school enraged
>want to fuck her up
>talk with staff members about everything she's done to me and how her mom was emailing me
>they want to put in place a stay away agreement which would stop us from talking about and to eachother
>they need me to sign it
>before i sign it i run up to a class we share and say "do the world a favor and kill yourself"
>all this rage from people fucking with me and leaving me like nothing manifested in those 8 words
>she has a mental breakdown and runs off crying
>staff needs information from me so they can find her
>i agree on one condition
>they make it clear to her that the only reason they were able to find her was because of me
>still don't feel bad about what i said to her
>have absolutely no remorse
>actually kinda sad she didn't take my advice
so i'm worried that i'm becoming a terrible person but at the same time i don't see the use of being a good person when all it gets me is shit. if anyone wants to talk privately my discord is GIVE US MOTHER 3#2911
i wasn't finished. i couldn't fit it all in one post so i had to do multiple read the rest of the replies
>Admits to kicking people off discord because they won't adhere to his authoritarian rule
>Join my discord
Do the world a favor and kill yourself
wasn't saying join my server just talk to me if you want.
Imagine thinking your gay high school drama is actually something to be upset over. Get the fuck off this site you fucking child.
No one wants to talk to a child. Newfags like you are the cancer of this site.
so you're saying don't care about anything at all? okay
>idk what to do with my life
bro ur like what 15? u'll figure it out mate. also with ur social shit u have to realize that both u and the ppl u hang with arent mature, since ur so young. just reflect on urself and be the person u wanna be its not that hard tbh
Wow how edgy and original haha
i've actually been using this site since 2016.
>2016
So ur literally a Sup Forums newfag? That's the worst kind!
no no no i started on Sup Forums (which may actually be worse now that i think about it)
your point? you're acting like you're still not a newfag
i thought newfags were ones who started like a month ago or something.
Terrible person
>Be me
>Fuck a drunk chick at a party she's not on birth control I didn't use rubber
>Came big in her
>Two months later she's saying she's pregnant because I came in her
>Brush her off as a hoe even though she's not
>7/10 Retarded girl comes up to me
>She wants a baby and heard I'll make them
>I agree and meet her at my place after school
>We fuck every day after school, tell her making babies needs to be worked on a lot sometimes for some people
>My buddies get wind of it
>Be drunk after school one day fucking her
>When done say maybe if we have more guys cuming in her better chances of baby
>And more guys means maybe more babies at once
>Now after school five of us fuck her every day
>I always go first so not getting their cum on my cock
Yes I'm thinking I might be bad person.
It all started innocent.
This is Canada, Retarded girls are normally fixed so they can't have children or they would be a huge drain on our government healthcare system.
....
I'm a asshole?
Yeah you're a collosal fucking prick, but it seems that everyone is when they're 15. Life's shit but that doesn't mean you have to be. If you can't intrinsically motivate yourself then find something outside yourself to motivate you to improve.
i don't know
oh cool some actual advice
The discord isnt working for me. Are you sure thats it?
GIVE US MOTHER 3#2911 actually sorry
Why don't you just stop it?
fucking hell the pumpkin emojis didnt copy its :jack_o_lantern:GIVE US MOTHER 3:jack_o_lantern: #2911
this, good luck out there lads
thanks woody